by Doubtfully Yours 17 Replies latest social relationships
DY,
I'm happy for ya in that you and hubby have made some peace.
How is it your husband is responsible for anyone's spirituality, other than his own. Isn't our belief or, lack of, a very private and personal matter between oneself and any god?
I think you did get some healthy advice re; the elder thing.
Keep us posted
cheers, granny.
When pulling family out I've had to do it verrryyyy slooowwwwlyy. Dropping hints here, pointing out cong. BS that goes on in the LOCAL cong. and then asking things like "Maybe this happens in other congs."
I admire your loyalty and love for your hubby. He's very lucky to have a woman that love's him as much as you do. I hope he knows just how lucky.
I'm sorry to bring this up DY, but you have not addressed his bouts of violence. So far, he has mainly destroyed property, but this is the tip of a very dangerous iceberg. If you cannot convince him to go to counselling (not JW elder kind, the real deal), then please go yourself.
This is coming from a woman who absolutely insisted her husband could never EVER do harm to her. He's just not that sort of guy. I promised my lawyer I was in no danger. Sure he'd broken a few dishes when he got mad and he did smash the windshield of my car. But he'd never hurt me.
Things can change in the blink of an eye. You may love him and he may love you, but unless he deals with his anger issues, you are not safe.
Please, please, don't make us read about some horrible thing that's happened to you. I know this sounds alarmist and dramatic, but some of us have lived this already.
DY some very good advise from wasasister (she's one really smart lady). I too wondered about his bouts of violence and hope you've got an escape plan in the works.
At any rate I sure hope your marriage is salvageable but I highly suggest marriage counseling.
Best of luck!
Thanks for reinforcing my thoughts, BC.
This issue has nothing to do with JW's. The sort of behavior DY described crosses all lines.
Again, please forgive the drama-queen phrasing, but there are women who wish they could go back and be more cautious. People snap under pressure and things get out of hand.
You owe it to yourself to be safe. If you truly love this man, you will be helping him if you insist he deal with his violence.
I am very happy to hear you both are "together"....but as the others have commented...DO NOT speak to the elders.
Your spirituality is YOUR spirituality, between you and Jehovah...not between you and a husband or elders...
I wouldn't say anything to anybody....if they ask: just respond like Min did in one of his threads: "I am not going to talk about it"..(end of story)
hugs,
CodeBlue
DY, I was really happy to hear that you and your hubby had a heart to heart and are working things out. I do agree with the other 2 ladies. Please be cautious. Councelling does sound really good. Even just for yourself if need be. I wouldn't talk to the elders at all. Your business is your business, it's none of theirs. You can always use the excuse that you aren't feeling well if they try to contact you. You did mention some health issues before. I hope it all works out for you. Please live to be happy, don't stay in the religion for somebody else. I did that my whole life for my Mom and sister. It won't make you happy. Subtly telling him bits and pieces here and there about the ORG. would be a way to try to plant some seeds of doubt in your hubbys mind. All the best to you. (((((hugs))))))Redhotchilipepper
Well my hubby was a JW. I dropped out many years ago. I tried to talk and reason with him about how wrong they were. But I could not reach him because of his JW ties to his family. He didn't even have to believe what they taught. Just because his Mom and Dad and sister were one was enough for him.
Well I fought him tooth and nail. I wasn't going back. I made him miserable his last year.I didn't know he would get sick and die in 5 short months.
Well he died two years ago in Feb. To tell you the truth..I would go anywhere..including the KH just to be with him.Call it selling myself out..I don't see it that way.
The only thing is that I read your hubby can be violent. Well my hubby broke things many times when we were younger. He would get frustrated and didn't know how to deal with it. He NEVER hit me though.He could break what he wanted as long as he didn't hit me!
I am not that familiar with your situation but why would it be so wrong to go with him?
I just feel it wouldn't be any different than going to a sporting event with him just to be with him..
I don't think God would mind. But you have to do what you are comfortable with. I only know I would gladly go to any religious church or Hall with him just to be with him..And if I really believed in a "New World", I would go back to the KH just so I could see him again someday..but sadly I don't.
