Depressed and about to lose it

by AloneinOh 42 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Black Sheep

  AloneinOh,

  You are not alone. I could have written that myself a couple of years ago. You describe exactly what I went through, and it is not over for me yet.

  Please. Do not make the mistake that I did and confront your parents with it.

  You need to wait a couple of years or more to settle down and regain your composure first.

  You are a very lucky fellow. My wife signed up and her and my kids are in it too. Its not pretty.

  Settle down. Sit down and have a smoke (singular) and a beer (singular) if you feel it is getting to you. Consider it medicinal.

  Now that you have realised what had been done to you, life will get better. Much better. Much MUCH better.

  Stick around and keep in touch. There are some wonderful people here who can, and do, help us through this difficult period.

  Regards

  Chris
• 

  squinks

  Alone,

  Yup, the shock is enough to kill ya! But don't let it because you have a lot of living to do. Believe it or not you will get your life back and cherish every minute. The hurt and anger will subside and joy will grow. Trust me I left about fifteen years ago and sometime I wonder how I lived through the pain, but here I am.

  Oh and Wolfgirl, I didn't just want to throw up - I did, when I learned about the UN. I had been out and living my life and just had never heard about it until I found the forum. When I realized what the WT had done I had to run and drop to my knees before the porcelain god!!

  Anyhow Alone you have found love, understanding, community and the actual really Truth right here. Soon you will need to change your name - cuz you aren't alone anymore.
• 

  Black Sheep

  Whoops, I forgot a part of my anti-depressant medicine.

  It should have been...

  A steak, a smoke (singular) and a beer (singular).
• 

  bull01lay

  Welcome aloneinOh,

  What a heartfelt opener - I'm sat at work reading this and nearly gushing !!!

  Glad you found your way here - enjoy the friendship of people who do understand your feelings of betrayal!!

  I too have family still in the borg, but so far have not had the strength to confront them with revelations about the WTBTS - as you know, it's their world, and rightly or wrongly, they will not thank you for bringing it crashing down!

  Wishing you a guilt free Christmas, and every other celebration you care to take part in,

  Bull!
• 

  fleaman uk

  welcome to you Aloneinoh.

  I can totally concur about the Parent situation.Ive toyed again and again with taking all the evidence i know about the "Truth"not being the Truth to my Parents,but have decided at least for now,not to.It would (if ,of course they ever read it and it did sink in)destroy them.These are good ,decent people whose life revolves around the religion and those in it.They are also relatively tolerant of me (a fader with my Worldly Girlfriend)and my DFed Brother.

  All im saying to you is think very ,very carefully before steaming in to Devout Parents and relatives.It may cause irreperable damage.

  Whatever you choose to do,i wish you all the very,very best my Friend.
• 

  lisavegas420

  Welcome AloneinOh, I had been out for a number of years when I found this site. The first few weeks, even though I had not even see a witness in years, I would break out in a sweat over the things I was reading. My heart would start pounding really hard. Sometimes, I would just have to turn off the computer and walk away. But I kept coming back. I was drawn...Now I just feel free. Free to be me

  I haven't talked to my parents, or siblings in years, because I am disfellowshipped, and dead to them. They don't call, or return phone calls, but I would love the chance to tell them what I know about their truth. I've thought about writing them a letter, but haven't yet. I guess I'm afraid they won't read it anyway.

  What part of Ohio do you live in? I live in the Dayton-Springfield area. The witness here don't know me, so they stop by from time to time.

  We were studying together...hehehe......but a few months back I showed them the UN letter and asked them some questions. After 2 years of coming over nearly every week, they haven't been back. Well, they have come and left mags when I wasn't home...hmmm... So I must be a raining day return visit.

  Lisa
• 

  JustTickledPink

  Welcome. I have been away for 10 years but only recently started investigating and reading and learning the TRUTH about them. It takes a while, but I'm really hoping you find peace and learn to let go of all the guilt you have been carrying around.
• 

  Mary

  Now I am totally devistated. I have cried more in the past month than the rest of my life combined. I really thought it was the truth..I really did. Why...why why why was I so stupid and blind. How could I have let myself be brainwashed like that. The hurt is incredible...

  Hey I know how you feel......I was totally devasted when I found out this wasn't "the Truth". I remember it well; I was at the library and had just finished reading Visions of Glory written by a former Witness. I was literally in shock. I thought Satan had gotten a hold of me, but finally common sense kicked in. I then read The Orweillian World of Jehovah's Witnesses, Apocalypse Delayed and then Crisis of Conscience. You cannot blame yourself though thinking you were "stupid and blind". You did NOT "let yourself be brainwashed"----you were RAISED in this religion, just like I was. We had no frigging choice. If you're taught something from birth, then of course you're going to believe it, so don't be too hard on yourself.

  You may benefit from seeing a Counsellor that helps people when they leave cults........this board is very theraputic as well, so welcome to the world!!
• 

  Beachbender

  Welcome AloneinOh! I too am a newbie, I just found this forum this

  week. I regret not looking sooner for I was a very lost soul for many

  years. I feel somewhat at peace here. That video with the girl in the

  bumble-bee costume keeps coming to mind!! Take the advice given

  and wait to deal with your parents, definitely sit down and open up to your

  wife about this though. I have a very supportive hubby who has been my

  saving grace for the last 18 years.
• 

  xjw_b12

  Wecome aboard AIO. Very compelling story, with a theme often repeated here. Most here are in some stage of healing. The rest of us, pop in occasionally to help others with their recovery. Once you've gotten over the disbelief, then the anger, there will eventually be a measure of closure. Then you can live your life the way it was meant to be. You will even be able to laugh about it, eventually...honestly.

  Regards: