Do JWs really grieve?

by undercover 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • undercover
    undercover
    When my father lost a family member a prominent elder chastised him for grieving. He told my dad that it was setting a bad example for others and it showed a lack of faith in the resurrection.

    I agree with that statement. I've seen it done. More than once.

    Maybe we can look at this in another way. For many, including myself, when a JW family member dies, it is not accepted that they are gone forever. That is denial. We can look at denial as a stage of grief, but to remain in the denial stage is not healthy either. To remain in denial means we never accept the death and if we never accept it, then we cannot properly cope with it and move on.

    My JW hubby grieves long and hard over the loss of his mother. It has had the unfortunate effect of pulling him farther in to the society. Even though his mother was never a JW, he knows she has a hope in the resurrection.

    That kind of ties in to what I was saying...we deny that we won't see them again, therefore we grieve to a point but never come to grips or acceptance with what must be.

  • Valis
    Valis

    I think one of the things that happens is the grieving gets balled up with lots of guilt. Especially if the deceased is a Witness. One starts to worry if they are living thier life and worshipping Jehovah enough so they get to see the loved one again after Armageddon. That is a big load for anyone to carry. If they aren't JWs I think it equally scares them as the "know" the deceased will not be seen again and they certainly don't want to end up like that...Kind of like like a catch 22 IMO.

    Sincerely,

    District Overbeer

  • tyydyy
    tyydyy

    I can remember when my mother's mom died. (24 years ago) She lived with us for the last year of her life and I grew close to her but I didn't shed a tear for her passing. I told myself and others that it was because she was one of the anointed and that she went straight to heaven so there was no need to grieve. I still feel weird about that. I'm normally not that guarded with my emotions but I do remember thinking that it was somehow proof of my faith. ............Now that's sad.

    TimB

  • Greenpalmtreestillmine
    Greenpalmtreestillmine

    I don't really see JWs as any different in this circumstance than other Christians. Christians believe in an afterlife and that hope comforts them. JWs believe they will see their loved ones in the new system, most other Christians believe they will see their loved ones in heaven. But they all grieve and they all miss their loved ones dearly.

    This is natural.

    Sabrina

  • lonelysheep
    lonelysheep

    When one of my grandfather's died 6 years ago (before I started studying w/jw's), my stepmom, a jw, looked at me strange because I started crying right away and hugging my dad. The next day, she confronted me and asked me why I had just started crying out of the blue? like that and why was I acting phony!
    I told her it was because he's my grandpa and I was very close to him growing up (as a young adult, I hadn't seen him much). She scrutinized me like I had no right to grieve and even got on the phone bitching to her friend about it. She was disgusted by me. It was ridiculous....I lose a loved one and she feels entitled to judge me.

  • PinTail
    PinTail

    Your right, in profound way. I have to ask this question to everyone: Do you know of anyone that has returned from the dead to tell you personaly what its like on the other side if they were dead for longer than twenty five min? As for me I seen something unearthly when I flat lined four or five times from a head trauma; it was nice though, I did not know what it was for sure, but it gave me a sense of safety and peace I was not afraid no more. Shane

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Many yrs ago, my brother whom i was close to, died. I never felt anything about it, still don't, although i do think about him.

    S

  • redhotchilipepper
    redhotchilipepper

    When I was a JW, I did believe in the Resurrection but I still grieved over the death of my Grampa. I grieved over him so hard, for months, years. It's been a long time since he passed away, 10 years now and I'm still grieving. Now I feel more comforted that there isn't a resurrection in that I feel that he is watching over me at this time. Just me own thoughts, feeling, theory so to speak. Hey if it comforts me then why not right!

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