The need for "Fellowship" (page 2)

jgnat

Excellent thread, maybes. I also chat up the regulars that show up at my bus stop, and have made friends with some of my neighbours. I love community, I search it out. But then I have not been burned as many of you have. I also am having a lot of fun at our "small group" at the church. It is a chance to get to know a half-dozen people really well. They have been an invaluable resource of encouragement and support.

You are so right, bebu,

my neighbors have all been nice folks whatever their looks or backgrounds. As I get to know them and what's going on in their lives, conversation gets easier. It's a challenge at times, but even having differences helps me to try harder to understand their points of view.

One of our great neighbours are vegans. She is Greek Orthodox, he is agnostic. We enjoy talking about the challenges of being in a marriage of mixed faith. I never know what to bake for them! Their whole-wheat eggless milkless muffins are to die for, though. Only two tablespoons honey.

P.S. Regular people in our society also struggle with developing enduring relationships. I have heard from more than one couple in my neighbourhood that it was a big "wake-up call" when they apply for a passport, foster parenting, etc. These forms all ask for a character reference who is not family. Some modern couples don't have any!

Xandria

Ah! My sister is on to it. Remember the people we had growning up ? We adopted people like Grandma Bertha and Ralph. We spent time learning and listening. We chose our family because the ones we had did not choose us. I think in a way sis, that opened us up to new possiblities.

Tikki tikki tembo-no sa rembo-chari bari ruchi-pip peri pembo.

I will call you, I can't wait to tell you what I found on Amazon.

Love,

X.

eyeslice

Hi Maybebabies,

That's probably the hardest habit for a newly exiting JW to break, looking at all others as less than human.

How right you are! Before I left I was a pillar in the congregation, had been in all my life, ex-elder with lots of friends. As soon as I stopped attending, no one wanted to know me or my family.

From being asked out every weekend (and inviting others round ourselves of course), we went to not being asked out once. My wife still attends and still is very highly valued in the congregation, ex-pioneer, excellent publisher record (I was secretary and know my wife's field service was in the top half dozen in the congregation) but she is never asked out any more. I have never aired any doubts or any apostate views so I know people view me as "spiritually" weak rather than apostate. We invited a few from the congregation round in the summer and they all came but have never asked us back in return, including my "elder" brother-in-law.

Fortunately, my business partner and I get on really well and despite the fact he is not a witness, my is happy to associate with him and his wife. They are a great couple but I do think that my wife associates with them more out of sympathy for me (Billy no mates) rather than out of choice.

Like the idea of visiting old folks. I have close contact with a number of old folks homes and have thought about doing a sing along with my guitar when I get chance.

Eyeslice.

maybesbabies

Thanks for all the stories and ideas, everyone!!! Life is sweet, if you reach out and embrace it!

Sunnygal41

I've always felt a special affinity to older people...............mom says I was such a little old lady when I was small........a real old soul............I now work taking reservations for a local senior dial a ride service, and I absolutely LOVE it! The older folks are too funny, for the most part. They have such passion for living..........many of them have such a busy social life, that I imagine any young person would find it difficult to keep up with! Another area of reaching out and feeling like you are making a difference would be to volunteer your services from time to time at a homeless shelter.............or even the local hospital.

Terri

onacruse

Hiya mayb!

It was nice to meet you at Gretchen's "fest."

For myself, what I've been experiencing over these last 3 years is a 'pendulum.'

At first, I was virtually, and literally, alone: No hopes for the future, and almost at the point of willingly laying down and dying.

Then: I found a new life, via JWD; a new life of fellowship that I had never imagined.

Then: A hyper-energetic involvement with JWD.

Then: Increasing disillusionment and frustration, and finally, an overwhelming sense of resignation.

Now: A feeling that the "feeling" ain't all that bad---thus, the 'pendulum.'

Craigster

AK - Jeff

Find like people, and learn to socialize.

That is the trick - we have lost that skill. I remember moving across the country 1200 miles. Within 2 days we were in the thick of 'friends' at the new hall. We never had to 'make' friends after we joined the organization, in fact we were forbidden to. Now we have to learn again what was robbed of us.

Just My Opinion Jeff

The need for "Fellowship"