I've posted about this story in the past, but I've decided to do it again. I posted a thread last year with my full name on it and just the other day, realized, when I google myself, that thread comes up. Yup. My full name comes up on an "apostate" ex-JW site when I get googled. It's how an old high school (JW) friend found me. So I figured today that perhaps I can get another thread to come up with my full name on it should I get googled again in the future.
Twenty-nine years ago, my American GI father and my Japanese mother divorced in Japan. Thinking a half-Japanese child would fare better in the United States than a half-American child would fare in Japan, my parents mutually decided that it would be better for my American father to have custody of me. (Or at least that is what he has told me.) After the divorce, my father said goodbye to my mother and left for Missouri where we stayed with his family until he got back on his feet. Several years after, my mother flew to the US, where I remember going to the airport to pick her up. She stayed with Dad and I in our little one-bedroom apartment. I have funny little memories of that experience. I remember my exhausted father pulling over to the side of the road on the way to the airport. He had to stop to sleep. I remember my father letting me chew gum at the airport, which was a rarity...he never let me chew gum. I remember wearing Japanese kimono-style pajamas with little cherries all over them. Dad even let me wear them at the airport and I remember thinking it funny to wear pjs out in public. I remember being a little frightened at the airport. I don't think I realized why we were there. I remember it was snowing while she was visiting and I remember her giggle as I threw snow at her. She brought me lots of presents, a stuffed monkey (which I now realize was a Monchichi - remember those?), dolls, other Japanese toys. I remember watching her curl her hair with a curling rod. (That's what we called it back then.) Her stay was short, but I have wonderful memories of it. We did not stay in contact after that.
Years later, I was about 15. My dad had joined the JWs and remarried. They had twin baby boys together. I felt very disconnected to everyone in my family. My dad didn't like us kids spending much time with his parents because they were worldly. My step-mom and dad were busy with the twin boys, starting their own business, pioneering and being a ministerial servant. Stressful living was the understatement. I felt like Dad had my step-mom and the twin boys had each other. Even though the house was full I felt very alone. Lonely. I don't remember how it happened, but I remember somehow getting in touch with my birth mother again. I think I wrote to her first. She wrote me back, but since I didn't read Japanese and she didn't read English, letter writing was long and laborious through our friends that translated. I learned she had remarried a Japanese business man and was living in Okinawa with her two little boys. After a couple letters, the writing abruptly stopped. I don't remember why. I've had a gut feeling that my father intercepted the letters, as her last letter mentioned her being displeased with me being a JW, but I don't know that for sure. We haven't been in contact at all since then. I do not have the letters or even the address she wrote from. I have no idea where she is or even what her married name is. I think I remember her sons names were Hideo and Suzuki. I have family pictures she sent me.
So here I am. Thirty-three, married to an amazing man, living in our darling home, leading a successful life with dreams and possibly a family in the future. But I'm hungry to meet my mother. Her name was Kumi. She married my father in 1971, just 8 months before I was born. (Not sure, but it's a possibility the marriage was in order to "keep her honor.") I am in the process of writing letters to the American Embassy in Tokyo Japan in order to find her. I've emailed Japanese newspapers with my story. I've even gone as far as writing to Oprah. But perhaps...just perhaps...someday my mother decides to google me. Perhaps she has learned to write English and could read what websites I'm connected to. Perhaps not. Perhaps she has a friend that is doing it and translating it for her. I don't know. But here I am.
Mother, if you're out there, I am here waiting to hear from you. May name is Andrea McElfresh Weathersbee. I live in Dallas, Texas. If you post to this thread or even "Personal Message" me on this website, I would be thrilled to be in touch with you again.
Simon and other board moderators, I realize this thread is completely off topic regarding the point of this website. But it's helped someone in my past find me through a simple google search. Perhaps it will help my mother find me through the same route. I do understand it if you must take this thread down for being off-topic, but please leave it up. Thank you if you do decide to allow it to stay.
Andi