Looking for my Japanese mother (page 3)

bebu

My husband and I got married in Japan. I'm looking at our Certificat of Acceptance of Notification of Marriage at this moment...

If their marriage certificate is like ours, it will your mother's maiden name and birthdate, and perhaps some details of her hometown. So, if you know the date of marriage, you will have more luck in finding the documentation in order to learn her maiden name. The Japanese are really fanatical about family records--hiring people to investigate backgrounds of prospective spouses is a common practise. I think you may already know about that.

There is a friend of mine who lives in Okinawa, a Japanese American. If her email still works I'll ask her to ask around as to where you should inquire (which government office, which investigative business, etc.)

I wish you success!

bebu

Edited to add: Just sent off the email, with the URL to this thread. If she's not at that email, I'll find out when I get a Christmas letter from her what the new one is...

Here is an English telephone directory... perhaps your Japanese pastor friend would know resources similar to this but in Japanese (white pages, yellow pages)...

http://english.itp.ne.jp/

fairchild

Hi Andi,

Sad story indeed. Having lost touch with most of my own family over the years (because we were all travelers and went to various parts of the world, and also because I didn't grow up with my siblings), I have some experience in searching for family. Not much luck so far, just a little..

I found one of my aunts (a sister of my mom), whom I had never seen, and it was strange to meet her.

Anyway, I did the newspaper, radio, TV things.. they didn't provide any leads. What DID provide some leads was an extensive search in phone books. You can order phone books from all over the world through any of the major phone companies. Some will even let you borrow them and you won't have to pay anything. Since you had letters from her, there must have been a last name on the letters. Find that name in the phone books and send a standard mailing out to everyone by that name. The search will take many months, but I have found it to be the most effective method. When I sent out my mailing, many people reacted, even people who were not my family sent me letters to wish me good luck. It was a very nice experience.

Country Girl

Very touching story, Andi. Your Mother is indeed very beautiful... shows in YOUR genetics, too.. hehehhe. Have you asked your Father where her parents are from? Lots of times families stay in the same general area. Is there a social security like registry in Okinawa or Japan, whereby you could find out perhaps where her siblings, aunts, uncles, etc. are, using her last name? Was her last name common in Japan?

Just some thoughts.. and good luck on your search.

Country Girl

bem

(((Andi))) I'm glad you shared your story.

I was thirty-six when I found my biological dad, Of course it was easier than the things you have to go through with the language barrier and whole nuther country to look at to find her. It was very satisfying and I needed it for closure. even tho it was not the hallmark moment I imagined it would be it was bitter sweet. But a finality.

I wish you much success, and hope for the both of you, you and your mom that you make the connection.

Dorothy

lazyslob

Just a thought. Do you know your grandparents names. They may be easyer to find, less likely to move around.

Lazyslob

Billygoat

Oh my goodness...so many unexpected responses!

Rayzorblad, Fleur, Monkey Princess - check your PMs. Thank you so much for writing!!!

Morty and Mulan - If you do feel inclined to write on my behalf, I would absolutely love it. Thank you for offering! You are so kind to help!

Big Tex - I don't know if my father intercepted the letters, but it wouldn't surprise me. My mother had invited me to come live with her in Japan and I remember my father being totally silent. I think he was scared. The correspondence was during the height of my rebellious teenage years. I had already run away from home. I think the possibility of me having another living option was scary for him. Me? Live with a "worldly" mother? I don't see him handling that well. Who knows what my life could have been like if I did go there!

Xenawarrior - thank you!

Bebu - I do have my parents wedding date and I do have her maiden name. I just don't know exactly where she's from. Unfortunately my father and I are not speaking and he's never been very talkative about this subject. I do know at one point my mother left him. After HIS mother left him and his brothers, I know that my father have severe abandonment issues. He doesn't discuss such painful things. If I could just find out what prefecture she is from, I might be able to narrow it down. BTW - thank you so very much for the hyperlink! I am looking into every avenue I can get my hands on!

Fairchild - your idea on the phone books is a great one. Thank you for the pointer. I will see if I can find some!

Countrygirl - Unfortunately, I don't know too much about where my mother is from. The good thing is that she does not have a terribly common last name. So perhaps it'll be easier to find her.

bem - I am trying to steady myself to NOT have a Hallmark moment. I would love it should it happen, but I'll just be happy knowing she's still alive. She would be 56 this year. She's still young. Hopefully she's healthy.

lazyslob - I don't know my grandparents names. They both died before I was born. My mother was the youngest of (I think!) 9 children. She had many older siblings that helped take care of her growing up. I like the fact that she has so many siblings. It means there is a higher chance of me finding some family.

Everyone, thank you so much for your encouragement and suggestions. I have taken each and every one of them personally and to heart. The love on this board always astounds me. Thank you.

Love to you all,

Andi

JustTickledPink

Do you have your mother's full name? or is the name posted her first name?

I have a guy that I work with that was stationed in Japan for years and his wife is Japanese. I am going to ask him about it. He is fluent in Japanese also.

Evesapple

You have your mother's smile :)

JustTickledPink

My co-worker is who is married to a Japanese woman and was stationed there for years with the USAF said that everyone who is born in Japan gets a "hon seki sho hon" that is spelled the best we could come up with, but is your birth certificate and they link all family members together. Basically the government builds family trees. When you move from one Japanese "perfecture" or county to another, your information including your record of birth moves with you. They actually track your movement. He said they keep excellent records and if you had a Japanese birth certificate or a "hon seki sho hon" yourself, you would be linked to your mother already in their system.

You might not have been given one if you born on base, but you might have one, being born to a Japanese mother.

He said the best thing to do is contact the Japanese consulate and have them track your birth mother of your information and see if you are linked up.

I hope that helps and I hope you find her.

Dansk

Hi Andi,

What an incredibly moving story. Claire and I very much hope that your dreams are realised and that you are finally reunited with your mother.

In spite of all your pains you have given so much to helping others. Now it's your turn to be helped. I wish there were something we could do, but please accept that you are constantly in our thoughts. With your tenacity I have no doubts you will be successful. 2005 could well be a most wonderful year for you. We pray it will be so.

All our love,

Ian & Claire

xx

Looking for my Japanese mother

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