Who here still finds it hard to celebrate Christmas?

by dh 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • dh
    dh

    I was raised a JW and as I've probably said before, I left when I was around 18... I'll be 27 in a few days, and as I get older realise how I do not really know how to celebrate anything.

    Being raised a JW we never had Xmas or Birthdays (or any celebration), and since none of the friends I had when I left the JW's were Christian either, I have to this day never celebrated it... I am not Christian and will openly admit that I couldn't care less about the religious side of Christmas, but what I see around me, everywhere in the world are people who aren't really Christian either, celebrating Christmas, either for kids or friends or whatever, but I've never done that or had anyone around me to do that with... People look forward to this time of year so much, they buzz and rush around like it's a real event, and to this day I've never been able to feel that way. Most of my Christmas/Birthdays since leaving JW's have been spent by myself, completely devoid of celebration, I want to get into that feel good spirit, but I don't know how, and if I try to fake it, I know it is fake. I find myself wondering how to begin celebrating something you never have?

    I guess I just wondered if any other ex JW's of many years still have issues celebrating Christmas (for whatever reason)... This year will be the first time in my life that I spend Christmas with people (family of a girlfriend) who actually celebrate it, it will be an African Christmas in 40 degree heat... I am wondering how it will turn out, will it be awkward, I know my JW background will come up, it will be interesting but I do not feel like it is a celebration coming up, just another Christmas & Birthday... Two things that never meant anything in my life.

    So I guess the questions I'm asking with this post... Is Christmas a big thing to you? Do you celebrate it? Or are you like me... Don't really know how to celebrate anything?

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Raises my hand.....

  • iiz2cool
    iiz2cool

    I was raised as a Catholic before I became a JW at 25. I was already indifferent to Christmas and birthdays before I was a JW. Partly because of the expense involved, as I often found myself unemployed around Christmas for some reason. Also, I've always felt uncomfortable accepting gifts from people, or being the center of attention on a birthday. I'm not sure why.

    I'm going to my family's Christmas dinner this year, as I did last year, and they're all excited to have me involved in it again. Personally I can take it or leave it - preferably leave it.

    I think I've become quite antisocial over the last few years.

    Walter

  • fairchild
    fairchild

    Hi dh,

    Personally, I don't celebrate Christmas. I used to, years ago, but it always turned out to be a rather sad event without any family around. Christmas seems to be a stressful time for many people I know. They all spend too much time preparing for the one day which often doesn't turn out the way they expected it to. Often, people spend too much energy making sure the big dinner gets ready on time, the turkey doesn't burn, etc.. all the while forgetting what the day is really about. Then go and look at the stores, everyone is in a hurry, people push each other to get to the registers first, only to pay for stuff they probably bought because they felt as if they had to. What gets me about christmas is the purchase of so many gifts. Really now, if christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus... should we celebrate anyone else's birthday, we don't go around buying presents for everyone in our family and at work, do we? The whole event has become exploited to no extent.

    I celebrate the birth of Christ every day with a thank you prayer, but won't go out of my way to do anything special on December 25th.

    Since I stopped celebrating christmas, the month of December has become a lot less stressful and a lot less expensive.

  • lv4fer
    lv4fer

    I was not raised a witness, but I became one right after I go married, so my children wer raised JW's. We left 3 years ago and the first Christmas we went to visit my sister and did the whole Christmas thing and as we were sitting around eating Christmas dinner after spending the whole day with the family exchanging gifts playing games, my son who at the time was 17 said you know mom I can see why we avoided this for all my life....this is just truly evil and wrong. We had a good laugh. This is the first year my husband has gotten into it actually buying gifts etc. the first two years were awkward for him he was a witness from the time he was 12.

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    I dont celebrate it.. mainly cuz i'm poor as dirt.. but i dont object to anyone around me celebrating. i've helped my companion choose gifts for the little kids in his family and do the shopping cuz he's disabled, and we give a lil bit of money to a couple of single mothers in his family. i sign the cards from both of us..its just not a big deal. i think its great to set aside a time to let the ones you love know you care by sending them a fruitcake or somethin :P

    but theres no tree, no decorations, no big deal.he's housebound and his family dinner is somewhere else so i can really say no i dont celebrate xmas. (if anyone asks)

    my family is all jw.s and i dont have a car anymore so i rarely get to see my kids but when i do i try to buy them a gift or two to celebrate getting to see them! i'm such bad association my daughter lives just 20 min from me and cant be bothered to come see me :(

    so i'd say no it doesnt bother me to do little things but it'd bother me to put up decorations and really get into it. its just not something i've ever done and wouldnt even know HOW to.

  • Fleur
    Fleur

    (((((((((((((Candidly)))))))))))))

    I never thought I would do it, but about five years ago I jumped in with both feet and haven't looked back. Here's my take on the subject...http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/81783/1.ashx

    It's not as hard as you think...once you realize that their reasons for not celebrating are totally unjustified; I mean if you're going to give up christmas due to pagan origins than out go the wedding rings too...can't have a little from the table of the devil right? They don't follow their own reasoning.

    Anyway, I'm not religious at all now, but it's about celebrating with the family that I have. Reminds me from a line from the movie Lilo and Stitch where Stitch says "This is my family. I found it on my own. It's little, and broken. But it's still good."

    It's still good, so I celebrate. I hope you can find something to believe in celebrating too.

    hugs

    essie

  • Namasti
    Namasti

    I wish there was something I could say to pass on this completely alive feeling I get every Christmas since I left the JW's, but I think it's because everybody I know is celebrating it. The beautiful songs and decorations everywhere fill me with joy. Getting together with friends, drinking eggnog, and getting into this spirit that is just rejuvenating. It's true that you either feel it or not, but I think in time you can. Is there anything you find interesting about it. Christmas trees, how about any of the songs--"Have yourself a very Merry Christmas is one of my favorites--there's a line in that songs thats say "through the years we all will be together" makes me cry because it's friendships that are so special--getting together during this very special time, but knowing that there will be other great occasions during the year, you all will be sharing those times again and building on all these wonderful events. When I left the JW's, the one thing I couldn't wait to do is to celebrate this magical holiday--I left on the month of July and starting playing Xmas music in August. I was so sick of those songs by the time the holiday was over, but loved them all over again, the very next year. I so love Christmas. You can give it any meaning you want to give it. To me it's a time to celebrate New Beginnings. Be free to get deep into it or not--It's great to be free to choose what feels good and right for yourself, isn't it. Merry Christmas!!!!

  • Fleur
    Fleur

    That's my favorite Christmas song too, Namasti. That and "Do they know it's christmas' which I admit I used to blast in my car as a JW teen knowing if I got caught I'd be in trouble LOL.

    Merry Christmas to you too!!!

    hugs

    essie

  • Namasti
    Namasti

    I used to do the same, essie, in my car, playing Christmas music. We are so lucky to be out and free. Have yourself a very Merry Christmas, essie. Nice to meet you.

    Namasti

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