I always find myself hanging out on this board a bit more frequently during the holidays, mostly because it's full of people who, like me, have all the weird JW baggage associated with the holidays. It helps to be understood. And I still carry the feeling that I'm an outsider; that I'm celebrating something that belongs to them, not to me.
Like Mulan, I stick with the thoroughly non-religious decorations and Xmas card designs. For some reason, I'm more emotionally comfortable with celebrating a "pagan" holiday than with the possibility of celebrating a holiday based in "false religion." Weird, huh?
It's taken me more than 20 years--and a patient partner--to get past the idea that Xmas gifts must be "useful." The idea of giving something frivolous, interesting, or merely fun was completely foreign to me, and one I resisted. I finally saw that I was giving the kind of gifts I'd always gotten as a child--You remember, the "we give gifts year-round" thing that meant every time you got new socks or underwear or shoes, you had to count it as a "gift." This year, we gave a bunch of "Govenator" gear to the relatives in Iowa, who think it's a hoot that our governor is a former action hero. My favorite was a T-shirt for my brother-in-law that says "My governor can kick your governor's butt!" Completely useless, but good for a laugh.
Yeah, I still feel weird about celebrating Xmas. And there's a lot I don't understand about why certain aspects of Xmas are important to my partner. But I just go along, and trust that someone who's been celebrating it for a lifetime knows a thing or two.
I have carved my own niche as chief fudge-maker, though. I put out about 12 pounds of peanut butter-chocolate double-decker fudge yesterday--gifts for the neighbors and work mates.
Life is good.
Jankyn
