IF YOU ARE FADING?

by vitty 27 Replies latest jw friends

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  vitty

  Do you still go to the memorial? And if not is this a reason to DFs you?

  And if or when you stopped going did you feel guilty?

  I stopped going to meetings about 7 months ago, we dont have any contact with the cong( its a new one) except a sister ( on behalf of the elders im sure) phones up to make contact.

  I have a friend who wants to visit me around that time and I know she will want to go, do you think it would put my fading back to square one?

  At the moment I cant tell anyone from my old hall or family im not going anymore, goodness knows how long I cant keep that farce up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Oh what a tangled web we weave .................
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  vitty

  I put this in the wrong catagory i meant to put it in friends, is it possible for me to change it
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  new light

  I don't think they can DF you just for skipping the Memorial. My personal advice, as an accomplished fader, would be to absolutely NOT step into a KH, except for intellectual curiosity, and even then make sure it is a KH where no one knows you. I believe "out of sight, out of mind" holds true for the elders, and if you want them to stay off your back, don't put them in a position where they have to think about you. There is also a clause in the "Pay Attention" book that says if you are completely inactive and have no contact with the congregation, they are not obligated to take judicial action against you, even if they hear a report of some sort of "wrongdoing." If you really want to end the JW chapter of your life, then sever as many ties as you possibly can and stick to it. This has worked for me quite well.
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  unbeliever

  After I left that was it....no memorials. I have attended a wedding and a funeral.
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  JustTickledPink

  I went to the Memorial for about 7 years because my mom asked me to. Once I was DF'd she wouldn't ride in the same car as me and I figured that was it. I haven't been in 3 years and I don't miss it a bit. I wasn't going for myself, I went for her.

  But I could care less anymore, I wouldn't be able to sit respectfully through any of that BS anymore. The "talk" is always the same year after year anyways.
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  redhotchilipepper

  I was thinking about the Memorial myself> This will be the first memorial I have missed in a long time. I really don't know how I feel about that right now. I feel kind of numb right now! rhcp
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  Mulan

  I moved this to Friends.

  They can't DF you for skipping the Memorial. We haven't gone in 8 years. I always tell people, who ask, that if I thought it was important to observe Christ's death (I don't) I wouldn't observe it with Jehovah's witnesses.
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  JustTickledPink

  Jesus celebrated with his close friends... you really could do it anywhere if you feel it's important.

  Personally I don't think it's important to do either. I think his message of love is more important than if you have religiously attended all memorials but you treat your family like dirt.
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  Sassy

  the biggest problem you have, is with your friend. How does your visiting friend take news you may not attend? Is this a friend you have confided in about your doubts? If not, you may have some repurcussions with your friendship for not attending. Officially it is not enough to df you just for not going to the memorial..
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  willyloman

  This will be the first memorial I have missed in a long time. I really don't know how I feel about that right now.

  redhot: the first one we decided to skip, we went to a quiet corner of a lovely little local park and read aloud to each other some relative passages from a paraphrased version of the bible. We were struck, reading the account of the "first memorial," just how different an occasion that was from the countless JW memorials we had attended in our lives. Then we went to a restaurant and had a nice dinner, including bread and wine.

  I don't know if we'll feel the need to do this every year, but it was a moving experience for us and helped immensely with our exit, which was fairly "fresh" at the time.