HAVE WE BEEN REFINED ?

by vitty 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  vitty

  I remember being at an assemble a few years ago when the D.O said that 40 of us sitting there would not be in the truth next year. I was gripped by fear, I knew sometime, I didnt know when, that I would be one.

  I was strong in the truth but I knew.

  Now have we been refined "out " of the congregation was it envitable? Regardless of why we are out , we are OUT as predicted.

  Sorry forgive me Ive not been out long I still get nightmares, I still think, "Was it the truth" Not as often but this question does still pop in my head.

  I know now its not the truth so why do I still think these things?
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  BrendaCloutier

  {{{Vittvin}}}

  I've been out over 25 years and started having weird dreams about being a JW again, with my background, and trying not to go out in field service, and not get found out. It drove me here to this board.

  When I read the title I thought it said "HAVE WE BEEN REFRIED?" and my answer is a definite YES! Ha!

  What group would be so proud of regularly culling members? I see it as a paranoia beyond drugs. There is no attempt at unconditional love within the JWs. As a group they are narrow-minded and egocentric. Not at all the way Jesus was.

  But knowing that intellectually, and still having the guilt, shame, and fear at a subconscious level are two different things. I think your nightmares are just that, the guilt, and shame popping up... I don't know what to tell you except that "Time Wounds All Heals". If you find it necessary, you may wish to seek counselling.

  Hugs

  Brenda
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  Satanus

  The do had the math figures. Once they do the math, it becomes easy to predict.

  The fear you felt, even though you knew, could be the conscious vss subconscious fight. Subconsciously, you knew. You consciously fought that knowledge. Imo, a huge percentage of dubs have the same fight in their minds daily. Subconsciously, they know that it is horse shit. Fear and guilt drummed into their surface minds keeps them in the wt world. If they transcend this surface programming, then they generally break free.

  That is not the case w dubs who like the wt instition because it agrees w their nature. Like a bird that has found a comfortable perch, those dubs would stay, no matter what, or, at the very end, would find another org like the wt in which to perch.

  The fear that you may have made the wrong decision in leaving lessens as you deprogram more. Also, as you let the old fears surface and face them one by one. Time, and sharing in the support group here helps that along.

  S
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  Satanus

  The real refinment, imo, is the throwing off of restraints, preconditions, preconcieved ideas, etc and finding out true core selves. We can only do this as individual units. Taboos may need to be broken, fears faced, lonely paths traversed, useless encumbances sluffed off, outdated mental constructs dismantled.

  S
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  vitty

  Satanus

  I always feel ive backed the wrong horse. i said to my husband "now you watch now weve left, it will come" tongue in cheek
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  BrendaCloutier

  "now you watch now weve left, it will come" tongue in cheek

  Sorta like "when my ship comes in I'll likely be at the airport"? I felt that for a while, too. But it goes away....when reality sets in

  Hugs

  Bren
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  Gill

  You made me laugh Vitvin. This was the first year we've had a christmas tree and I said to the kids and my husband, like you, tongue in cheek, watch Armageddon come now.

  It is difficult to change old thinking but it comes in the end.

  How can so much c**p be true? It's not! Time to let it go. Takes time but you get there eventually. Just laugh at the times you slip into old thinking. A lot of us have only just started on the journey but it gets better every day.

  Nowhere in the bible does it say you have to be a JW and give your life to the WTBTS to survive Armageddon or anything for that matter.

  Any consolation?
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  OldSoul

  vittvin: I always feel ive backed the wrong horse.

  You did. For a long time. It is difficult to separate our conscious mind from familiar paths. The most important thing for you to admit to yourself is that you were conditioned through droning repitition (probably for years) to believe that certain anxiety causing things would occur for anyone who is not one of Jehovah's Witnesses?. Since you are out, you are now experiencing anxiety stemming from uncertainty.

  If you admit the control they exercised over you to yourself, you can more quickly deprogram yourself from their conditioning. Humor is an excellent tool for deprogramming. It operates outside the mental realm that has been so wholly controlled for so long. You will likely feel foolish for your life spent inside and simultaneously feel dread of your life in the unknown outside.

  It's okay. Feel foolish. JWs are too straightlaced anyway. Learn to laugh at yourself. So, you were foolish. So what? If you are still confident in your personal relationship with Jehovah, that can also help. If not, so what? Even if you secretly believe everything the WTS tells you, the absolute worst thing that can happen to you is non-existence. There is no need to adopt an Epicurean mindset, although I'm sure that is common among the "newly departed" (sounds like "dearly departed," doesn't it?).

  What is most important is to hang onto your sense of self, the intimacy of your true character. That inner person has never been defined by WTS standards no matter how hard they may have tried. Your ethos defines you as a person, and as long as you do not betray that ethos you should be able to pull through this just fine. In fact, you will likely find that you were betraying your ethos by pretending to agree with some point or other while with JWs.

  Then comes the first fun part, the "light at the end of the tunnel" so to speak. You get to play around with becoming on the outside, who and what you always have been on the inside... WOW! What a rush! It is a very liberating thing to realize that even in your wretched, sinful state you are really pretty good at being a human.

  For what it is worth... (((hugs))). In my opinion, opinions should always be valued at the recipient's discretion.

  Respectfully,
  OldSoul

  BTW, these really are my words, for anyone who might have wondered...
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  stillajwexelder

  In the smelting furnace of Affliction -Isaiah 48 vs 10 if memory serves me correctly
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  OUTLAW

  We`ve definitly been burned...OUTLAW