Can you help please? Re: JW grandfathers funeral (page 2)

Lily888888

I just read someone's sad post about their Mother's funeral. It says they went home and did their own service where they had candles and pictures and talked about their memories. I will suggest a seperate memorial to my Mum. p.s. HAPPY CHRISTMAS HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY NEW YEAR HAPPY EASTER HAPPY THANKSGIVING HAPPY CHANUKKAH HAPPY EID HAPPY BONFIRE NIGHT HAPPY CHUNJIEH HAPPY CHINGMING FESTIVAL HAPPY HALLOWE'EN HAPPY NOW RUZ just my defiance...sorry if this offends anyone...

Poztate

Hi Lily,

Sorrry to hear of your loss.I am not sure about England but in Canada a funeral will be a talk by an elder only.

He will spend a short time reviewing the life of your grandfather and how well he did in the congregation.

Namely he was always at meetings,regular in going out to talk to others about his faith and always "supported" the congegation.

They will then go into the recruitment stage where they talk of his hope for a ressurrection of eternal life in the "new system" and how you too can be a part of this. They stop only a little short of mentioning meeting times and an offer for a "free book study"

There will be no imput from friends or relatives who want to say ANYTHING else about him. Everything will be controlled and micromanaged by them.

M.J.

So sad how they exploit such an occasion to plug the JWs. But you have to understand thier mindset I guess. They feel that promotion of the group is their most important function under God.

Been there

My Condolences to you and your family Lily.

I just wanted to tell you that you aren't that far from home and there are alot of ex-jw's around you. Simon, the guy that runs this place is very English.

Lily888888

Thanks to everyone. I really mean that. Now I know what to expect, I feel more prepared.

Treshappy- I meant to say, I am sorry about your Grandmother. I was too caught up in my own sadness and didn't say that.

I am clearer now about what will happen...They have never given up on converting me...

Now, I am determined to have a seperate service for my Grandfather, maybe even just at our house or local Church of England Church. There will be almost no-one there becuase everyone they knew is in the Kingdom Hall. But that won't stop us!!

In my first post I mentioned differences between England and overseas JWs. But now I have read more, I must say, it seems remarkably similar internationally.

Anyway, forgive me long posts...I just feel very sad right now.

p.s. my posts are all one paragraph without formatting, even though I type them with formatting...does anyone know why?

cherryblossomgirl

Hi Lilly,

My aunt was a witness when she died. Many of our friends and relatives that attended are not witnesses and I wasn't any longer at the time. The funeral was pretty normal, held at a funeral home, and there weren't really that many differences except obviously there wasn't a priest or anything the service was given by one of the elders at her cong. Don't be freaked out, you don't have to be a witness, just be prepared for a lot of boredom, and the fact that all of the kingdom melodies sound like " I wish I were an oscar meyer weiner", or "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts".

Lily888888

Did anyone else experience that someone who was a fervent JW unexpectedly 'mellowed' when they knew they were near the end? My Gdad, bless him, suddenly started asking about birthdays and Christmas even though 'Christmas' was a dirty word in their house previously.

Does anyone else feel ANGRY?

Angry, because my Grandad was stolen from me...
By his Church. No-one here understands. Even my friends...how could they understand, I mean...in England almost NO-ONE goes to church, let alone a quasi-cult or however you want to call it.

Anyhow...
despite the 'Bible Studies', 'Watchtowers', etc., I wouldn't care if he was here again, Watchtower or no, Bble or no, Bible Study or no, Blood Transfusion or no

:(

Joyzabel

((((Lily))))

there are several stages of grief. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, acceptance. You will find people in all those stages here. Not only losing a family member but losing what life should-have-been-but-wasn't-because-of-religion is hard to grieve over. We understand. Express yourself here.

I think it sounds nice that you will have your own service for your grandpa.

I hope your grandpa was beginning to think for himself and question what he had adhered to all his life and saw that maybe he should have done things differently. Think the best of your grandpa. He did what he thought was right at the time.

Joy

TresHappy

Pardon my venting Lily, thank you for your condolences about my grandmother. I miss her dearly. And my thoughts go out to you for your JW grandfather...sorry for your loss.

Lily888888

Thanks for your condolences. It was exactly my Grandfather's loyal and meticulous nature that made him an ideal Jehovah's Witness. But, like I said, I wouldn't change that, if I could have him back. I can't be the only person here whose family is torn apart by this religion. But you've got to find a way around it... or it will be too late, like it is now for me. The thing that really annoys me is how they treated him whe he was ill. Even though he was an Elder, he was virtually ignored (this may be just his congregation btw and not all JWs). No help. NO NOTHING. Despite about 50 yrs of loyal service. I used to live in China and it is banned there to go round converting people. At the risk of sounding fascist, I think they're on the right track. Seriously.

Can you help please? Re: JW grandfathers funeral

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