I love his James Mason impersonation... and his history lessons are a hoot!
Eddie Izzard is a God!
by Wild_Thing 16 Replies latest jw friends
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Prosperous
I've been lurking on this site for quite a while. I just registered today. Hello!
Anyway, I had to respond and join in with the Eddie Izzard love-in. I've been a fan for years. The first time I heard one of his sketches,he was talking about JWs,ironically enough. It went along the lines of "how is that when you reveal your deepest philosophical thoughts to them they just go 'oh, how interesting' and then carry on with their spiel."
At the time I was very deeply immersed in the "Truth" I wasn't sure what to think. I do remember laughing my head off, because I recognized my own off hand behaviour toward 'worldly' thoughts.
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Wild_Thing
have to be a local one ...
Haven't heard from him before....
No ... not at all!! Run ... don't walk ... to your local video store and check out Dress to Kill. He is freakin' hilarious!
Edited to add ... he is a British comedian, but very popular in the U.S. He may be more popular here in the U.S. than in Britain ... would be interested to know.
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Wild_Thing
I love his James Mason impersonation... and his history lessons are a hoot!
He is unique in that he seems to be very intelligent, and yet still very funny!
I also like his impersonation of Sean Connery as Noah.
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Incense_and_Peppermints
apparently you have yet to discover the zen of Mitch Hedberg, comic genius...
My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them to. I'm like, "Hey... Hold on fellows... Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf." Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can hold one, and pat it on its head.
You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.
This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be hard.
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.
At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick."
I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D".
My friend was walking down the street and he said, "I hear music." As if there is any other way of taking it in. I tried to taste it, but it did not work.
A minibar is a machine that makes everything expensive. When I take something out of the minibar, I always fathom that I'll go and replace it before they check it off, but they make that stuff impossible to replace. I go to the store and ask, "Do you have coke in a glass harmonica? ...Do you have individually wrapped cashews?"
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.
Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "...Here's a picture of me when I'm older." Where'd you get that camera man?
I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..."
I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone needs to get ahold of me they just say, "Mitch," and I say, "what" and turn my head slightly...
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
I like cinnimon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnimon roll incense. After all I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.
People teach their dogs to sit, it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.
My friend said to me, "You know what I like? Mashed potatoes." I was like, "Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause."
An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that day...
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.
That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, "It's cool, he's with me."
I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.
I had a velco wallet in a casino. That sound annoyed the hell out of me. Whenever I lost money, and I opened the wallet, it was like the sound of my addiction.
Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.
I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.
I had a bag of fritos, they were texas grilled fritos. These fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of something, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on, better flip that frito, dad, you know how I like mine.
I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong. ...Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me... "Come on Mitchell, don't give up!" An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top.
The next time I move I hope I get a real easy phone number, something like 2222222. People will ask, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'll say, "Just press two for a while, when I answer, you'll know that you've pressed two enough."
My lucky number is 4 billion, that doesn't come in real handy when your gambling. I'm gonna need some more dice, 4 billion divided by 6, at least.
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
You know they call corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob", but that's how it comes out of the ground. They should just call it corn, and every other type of corn, corn-off-the-cob. It's not like if someone cut off my arm they would call it "Mitch", and then re-attached it, and call it "Mitch-all-together".
I like buying snacks from a vending machine because food is better when it falls. Sometimes at the grocery, I'll drop a candy bar so that it will achieve its maximum flavor potential.
I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. There's a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.
I wrote my friend a letter with a highlighting pen, but he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.
I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly...
I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill...
I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.
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harleyquinn
It absolutely cracked me up when he did this "Just heard Englebert Humperdink died" after the interval of one of his shows. Actually, it sounds a bit sick just written here in cold black and white, but it was very funny - trust me. One of those things where you just had to be there I suppose. He kept it up for about 15 minutes, with the "only joking - no seriously" hand gestures.
Jesus - I wish I hadn't started this now! I'm trying to describe a visual gag on a message board. D'OHLMAO!! but i can totally see the nodding and shaking of head....my friends and i do that ALL the time...in fact, we may do eddie more than python...i know, blasphemy!
and, yes, his james mason as god is bloody brilliant!!!!
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Mulan
That was hilarious! "Engelbert Humperdinck just died..............no, just kidding. Nodding head, as if it really is true", and on and on and on.
"Do you have a flag?" Hilarious