Pathetic

peggy

I am new to forum. My concerns with this group as with any group is the anger displayed to others. I was emotionally abused for years for my association to the truth. My mother became a witness when I was four. My father allowed his family to torment my mother for her beliefs in front of her children. When a small child experiences this behavior, nothing seems safe. My father never offered any alternative. No church, no schooling, no other options. Just torment about his disgust for her religion. When us kids entered our teenage years with low self esteem, and drugs and alcohol readily available, my dad suddenly had a change of heart. "Go to your mothers church". We did.

The posts of the "Pathetic JW Web Site" seem angry and judgemental. I wish people were less judgemental, more compassionate of others. We all have to find our way in this world. The hierarchy even on this site, newbies, emperors, masters, juniors.....reminds me of Elders, ministirial servants, pioneers, publishers.

Anger, judgement, torment, never feels good, no matter how justified one feels in displaying it. Finding a safe and new way of life will not involve this kind of behavior. Torment from the "world" or torment from the "friends".....it all feels the same. Bad.

under74

Peggy,

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry for the troubles you've gone through and many on this forum can relate to what you've stated about your family. I don't think it was intentional on behalf of all the people that posted on the "pathetic jw website" thread to come off as mean spirited. In fact, in reading the thread many people stated that they felt for the young man.

When it comes to the forum status I think it's only a matter of going by what other forums go by. It can be handy sometimes to know how long a person has been on the forum...but to your point, I have to say that I don't think it's intentional to rank people to remind or be even somewhat similiar to the way JWs rank people.

I really hope you aren't discouraged from posting. Remember that the people on this forum are only human and we don't always agree with every opinion posted on this forum or the ways in which we display our opinions.

All the best to you.

ko38

Peggy, Please read the books suggested to you.I felt the same way as you upon coming to this site.You will come to realise that everyone is expressing themselves in their own way.Who are we to judge.

There are a lot of posters here that have been where you've been.TRUST ME.I respond to the post's that interest me and the others thst dont(I just think huh thats kind of different)

try to live and let live,it will help you reach your Happy place. he he.

we love you.............................ko38

OUT and about

I have to admit that some of the posts in response to that site seemed to mimic attitudes and behaviors I came to despise within the org. It's poor taste to bash a seemingly earnest (albeit horridly misinformed) individual when most of us stood in his shoes at a point in our lives. Although I, myself am not above having a chuckle at his expense. In dealing with the losses that many former JW's feel (in my case it was merely lost years, I am in the lucky minority), laughter maybe is the best medicine. I don't know. I can certainly sympathize with the animosity expressed towards the WTBS. I just don't like seeing it directed at an unbaptized individual who really doesn't know what he is getting into yet!

In support of the more "negative" comments, the real beauty of this discussion board is the fact that we are no longer bound by a singular point of view. We are free to express our oppinions, and be chastised or commended as others see fit. To try to censure some of the more negative comments would be creating a biased viewpoint. I for one can staunchly advocate that I never want that again in my life! In my own response to that thread, I tried to remind us of how crazy we were to have our thinking molded like that young man. But remember, at that point in our lives NOTHING could shake us of our beliefs! Therefore, it's futile to try to change his thinking by posting to his guestbook, imo. If anything, it's going to create a persecution complex, which will reinforce his oppinion that he has discovered the truth.

In conclusion, I agree with Peggy's point, and applaud her for stating it so poignantly. Please continue to post, Peggy. We need your point of view!

little1

I, also applaud you Peggy, for stating your opinion so forthrightly. If I had been in your shoes I would probably have just faded away, disappointedly thinking that these people were just like the ones you had always known. And some are, but most aren't. There are many and varied opinions and personalities here, which is what makes it such a vibrant place. People can disagree, and agree to disagree, which is what many are seeking after being so repressed in the org.

It's true that the poor guy on that website is more to be pitied than laughed at, and I'm sure that many have the thought that "there, but for the grace of God go I." I'm sure there is a lot of relief in some people that they aren't in his shoes anymore, and some express that by laughing at it. We all have our own ways of dealing with our feelings. Anyway, I'm glad you posted and I hope you stay around here. There is much more good than bad, I've found. Good luck to you!

Nancy

stopthepain

i actually feel pity for this kid.hes not alone.thats what the jw's do to you.they take your good nature,and often times confused ,vulnerable people and exploit them.hopefully he finds balance in his life and realize that beliefs are yours alone,no sick twisted rhetoric coming from some faceless organization that wants to control you.trust me,my whole family has been hurt from this religion!!!!!!!!!

Golf

Peggy welcome and greetings. I heara loud and clear! Let me say, it gets better as time goes along, just be patient and let time be your friend.

Your complaints are justifiable, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Destiny is in OUR hands what we do with it depends on us. I like your straight forwardness. By all means share some experiences with us. I wish you all the best.

Guest77

peggy

I was baptized at sixteen, I am now 46. I was an elders wife for 18 years, a full time pioneer for 3. I raised three children in a system I never thought would last beyond 1975. I have been exploited in and out of the org. I have ben treated kindly in the truth, and horribly, same in the world. People are people. I don't expect perfection, it will never come! I expect compassion for all walks of life. That made me different in the truth, as I was expected to hate the world and the poor unfortunate souls in it. Outside of the truth, am I expected to hate the witnesses? I won't and I don't. I want peace. Peace amongst men/women. Live and let live.

Preston

Hi Peggy,

I read your post and I think its shameful that anyone JW or non-JW had to go through the abuse that you guys went through. With that in mind .... I don't think its anyone's intent on JW.com to humiliate the guy who did the website, I think they were poking fun of his religion. Taken by itself, the comments were pretty harsh, however I don't think people think this when they post here. Most of the comments on this site you can't take serious anyway. I...even posted a reply that kinda took a stab at one of his pics which although humorous, was also stoic, sad, and moody (to tell you the truth I was thinking about posting the pic by itself without a caption since I think it captured so much that I got from my JW experience).

BTW, Please take into consideration that many of the people who posted replies have been through sheer hell in the organization just like you have. I hope things go well with you...

- Preston

bikerchic

First off peggy let me welcome you to the forum! I look forward to hearing more from you too.

The posts of the "Pathetic JW Web Site" seem angry and judgmental. I wish people were less judgemental, more compassionate of others. We all have to find our way in this world. The hierarchy even on this site, newbies, emperors, masters, juniors.....reminds me of Elders, ministirial servants, pioneers, publishers.
Anger, judgement, torment, never feels good, no matter how justified one feels in displaying it. Finding a safe and new way of life will not involve this kind of behavior. Torment from the "world" or torment from the "friends".....it all feels the same. Bad.

When I looked through that topic I had mixed feelings which reflect the sentiments you expressed as well. As a long time poster here and longer time lurker before I started posting the one thing you will notice is how we all heal differently.

One of the behaviors in healing is laughter and it comes in many forms the worst of these IMHO is passive aggressive ie; if I laugh at you and you laugh at me what we say to each other isn't hurtful. Well nothing could be further from the truth, it does hurt but somehow it's cathartic we get our emotions out, that is half the process. The other half comes when we learn to balance our expressions and not be hurtful to ourselves or others. It's a long process for some it's longer we have to be patient with ourselves and others on this journey of healing from the cult.

Well at least that's where I'm at now, being patient and allowing others to express themselves freely. When you look at the pendulum of emotions laughter is just opposite crying and we all have the same choices ie; the flight or fight, laugh or cry and for some laughter is more permissible.

So sit back enjoy the ride and as you get more familiar with the zaniness of the posters you'll see we are really one big happy family trying to come to terms with our past as best as we can and helping each other heal, that is the journey.

Kate

Pathetic

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