how long disfellowshipped?

sugarbritches

Hi- when someone is disfellowshipped- how do the elders determine the amount of time for the disfellowshipping to last? MY friend- perhaps I should say my ex friend has been disfellowshipped for 3 years- for singing in a small local country band with me- a non-witness.Isn't that a bit extreme? I haven't seen or heard from him in over a year. Sugarbritches

stillajwexelder

varies depending on the sin - I guarantee that if they are DFd for criticizing the WTBTS or for Apostasy it will be NEVER -and I do not like using the word never - but in this case I am sure

Narkissos

Df'ing is not a time sentence (i.e., how long it will last is not part of the judgement). Theoretically any person can ask to be reinstated any time, and after some time (usually at least one year) the person may be reinstated at the discretion of the judicial committee (elders).

ballistic

When I was disfellowshipped, I was told it could be very quick (a matter of months). I think the policy was changed about 12 years ago to allow a quicker "turn around" for some "sins" depending on the circumstances. Of course, they have been known to change policies back and forth.

blondie

Depends on the body of elders and how much they liked the person or socialized with them, what business connections they might have, did the person's sin make the elders look bad. BTW I have been told that it is worse when a sister commits adultery because a man has a harder time controlling his sexual urges towards other women.

I know a white sister who was DF'd for leaving her JW husband and marrying a black non-JW man.....reinstated after 6 years although she faithfully came to the meetings. (yes race was an issue)

I know of a brother who molested his daughter and 2 of her JW friends who was reinstated after 9 months because he was deeply in business with 5 elders in 2 congregations.

If any elder has a grudge against you that was on the judicial committee or has influence over the brothers on the committee, don't plan on being reinstated soon.

Blondie

sugarbritches

Thanks Blondie and all for your posts. My friend has written numerous letters about being reinstated but 3 yrs later he is still disfellowshipped.That just seems way unreasonable to me.But then I know how cold and heartless the elders were so this doesn't really shock me. Happy New Year all- again thanks for your posts. Being here is helping me to cope with a heartache that is bigger than I am. Sugarbritches

Elsewhere

Lets see what the bible has to say...

(Luke 17:3-4) . . .Pay attention to yourselves. (This is where they got the name of the secret elders manual: Pay Attention to Yourselves and All The Flock) If your brother commits a sin give him a rebuke, and if he repents forgive him. 4

Even if he sins seven times a day against you and he comes back to you seven times, saying, ?I repent,? you must forgive him."

(Mark 11:25) . . .And when YOU stand praying, forgive whatever YOU have against anyone; in order that YOUR Father who is in the heavens may also forgive YOU YOUR trespasses."

(Ephesians 4:32) . . .But become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another just as God also by Christ freely forgave YOU.

(Colossians 3:13) . . .Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely if anyone has a cause for complaint against another. Even as Jehovah freely forgave YOU, so do YOU also.

snakeizz

Depends on your "repentent attitude"....

sugarbritches

HI Snakeizz--- thanks for your post. Yes being sincerely repentant should definitely play a big role in being reinstated. I can't see that being someones friend is worthy of being disfellowshipped for 3 yrs though. Yeah I know JW's aren't ALLOWED to associate with those who do not share their faith- but he associates every day with people who are not JW's. He rents homes to lots of people- not one of them is a JW. None of the other band members are JW's and yet it's okay to sing and play with them. Anyway thanks for responding- I feel very bitter towards the JW's and all they have put me through. I don't have the wisdom I guess to understand why people let a group of men control their every thought, choose their friends, etc.... but then i guess thats what brainwashing is. Again, thanks

all_forgiving

sugarbritches-

People make mistakes and we all learn from them. This person was once your friend. His heart is still good and no one should turn their backs to him. We all need each other. Be there for him when he needs you.

all_forgiven

how long disfellowshipped?

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