When elders approach you.....how do you/did you respond?

by Blackfalcon98 18 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  KateWild

  I remember when I was in, and the elders wanted to speak to me in the back room I always thought it was an opportunity for me to give my side. It took a few times for me to realise.

  I used to get really worked up and tense when they wanted to talk to me when I knew they didn't want to listen and one time I said to the CO "You're not God you don't know what's in my heart" as he was accusing me of all manner of trivial things such as not being obedient and submissive to the "arrangement"

  After being on the internet and learning TTATT I had one last meeting with them and recorded it for my loved ones so they knew what uncompromising so and so's my JC were, and it went viral over the internet.

  I only ever talk with them in public now on their trolleys and express my feelings about holy spirit and d'fing infront of other publishers so they see the truth of why I left.

  Kate xx
• 

  7Starz

  Picking my nose and reaching out to shake their hand always worked for me...no just kidding.

  Remember they are asking you, they cannot order you to do anything.  If you choose to go you can expect a mini inquisition possibly tempered with false love and expressions of concern. 

  Take your time.  Simply tell them you are busy and you will get back to them.  Go home and regroup.  This technique worked for one of the friends I knew and it was almost two years before they finally got to speak with them. 
• 

  Phizzy

  I fobbed off the one Elder who persisted in wanting to see me for six months. I then agreed he should call on me, I told him 1914 was not in the Bible, he promised to come back and "Build my faith" in the teaching, and never returned.

  I could have then had the perfect "fade" except I expressed my real thoughts to someone I had known since I was a kid, and trusted, but he snitched on me.

  I got the Two Elder visit, which I decided to go through with, as they would have been vindictive had I fobbed them off. I dealt with them, and have not seen them since, apart from one of them dropping a JW.Org tract in.

  Fob them off as long as you can, give them no reason to take action, and they will probably loose interest.

  If you wish to be really free DA yourself.
• 

  Bugbear

  I have had several calls from elders and CO:s. But about the last 5-7 years they have stopped to pay attention to my humble person. The last time they were here, I lined up some philosophical and Historical questions, which I just at the time had been studying at the nearby university. Questions about god’s omnipotent, about archeological findings, the evidence for the bibles trustworthy. After 1-2 hours discursion, I offered them to attend some seminars, on the subjects, but they said they had no time for this offer but they could spend 2 hours each week with an “advanced bible study” . Haven´t seen them (anyone from the congos) since then, except my wife who is still in.

  Bugbear
• 

  RedPillPopper

  I have not been to KH since April of '13 and the last time I was asked to go into the "back room" I said very boldly to the COBE "no I won't go in that room anymore, I will speak to you in the parking lot". He looked surprised and said "well that's very interesting".
  

  So as we were walking out the KH for the parking lot, the 2nd elder was a little late and had to actually run up beside us so he could be there as the "2nd Witness" to anything they might catch me at. I was about 75% over my fear of them and knowing TTATT. If I was 100% I would have told the 2nd elder to excuse himself as I would only talk to one person.
  
• 

  Londo111

  If possible:

  (1) Screen your calls. 

  (2) If you get certified mail, find out where it is from first, before accepting or declining.

  (3) Look through the window or peephole if the doorbell rings or there is a knock. 

  From my understanding, they have to establish contact (by talking to you on the phone, having you sign for certified mail, or in person) in order to take any action.
• 

  7Starz

  You are correct Londo111, also I may this about screening your calls:

  If you do not recognize the number and still decide to answer and it happens to be one of the elders who wants to speak with you, ALWAYS ask if there is anyone else on the line with them (Remember their two witness rule).

  I have known some very sneaky elders who would use a phone number you would not recognize to call you.  They would have another elder (remaining silent) in the room without telling you.

  Also after you ask the above question - ask them if they are recording your call.  No matter what their answer is on this, tell them you ARE recording the call (whether you are or not) and you will see how fast they say goodbye.
• 

  stuckinarut2

  After the recent history I have had...I would simply say " No thankyou. If we cant chat out here in the hall or carpark, then we cant chat in private!"

  I had this firmly in mind, but was blindsided and hauled into the back under false pretences, then the door was locked and I was told to "sit down"

  I objected and said "you were not transparent and honest about this meeting. Im not comfortable thanks"

  I was told that if I left, I was "disobeying Jehovahs appointed men!"

   
• 

  OzGirl

  I use the skills I got from the Theocratic Ministry School. Instead of evading questions from the "householders" I now use those skills to evade questions from the elders. They stopped asking after a while.