by d_yell 41 Replies latest jw friends
Have you got to the point in your studies where you are warned not to associate with anyone who is not Jehovah's Witness? That includes your parents, your brother, everyone. Execpt of course, for your girlfriend.
Once you are baptized you are going to have to limit your time with her, too, unless you get engaged.
You will be warned from joining family social events that are not associated with the Witnesses.
The Jehovah's Witnesses are a hard, hard religion.
When I re married - it was to a non JW - and at a reception hall with a non religious service. And yet my elder brother still decided not to come " due to his obligation to Jehovah". He admitted years later after much bad blood, that is was a mistake and that he should have come - he regretted his choice.
you are right to take your fiancees feelings into consideration after all this is the person you will be spending your life with. Whilst it would be ideal to have your mother at the wedding it must be her choice. She has less flexibility as she has been reinstated and may feel she is under constant scrutiny. Talk to her reassure her that you love her and that you want her to be at your wedding. You know she will do what she can to be part of your day. Focus on what she can do to be included rather than what she may not feel she can do. Witnesses do tend to over react over everything that is a "test of faith". Rather than blame the society that places these rules on them they lash out at the person who puts them to the test.
Dear Raj, I see that your brother and gf are very important to you. It would be nice to know what country you live in as there may be members on here that know about the traditions in your country and give you more advice.
You have stumbled across a forum that are mostly ex Jehovah's Witnesses. Many of us have been torn away from our old friends and family, it is very difficult and sad. There are so many situations that cause our heart to break because of this and it is not something we wish for another person to go through.
attending church weddings and funerals is a conscience matter. hopefully that's what her elders will tell her.
I have lived apart from my JW relatives for almost 25 years. my life has gone on. yours will too.
don't let it affect your feelings toward your mom. just love her.
Let her know you have a stand in lined up to take her place. I volunteer.
My very strict JW relatives were invited to my sister's wedding in a Roman Catholic Church. I don't see their point to just sit and observe. Maybe active participation is different. Guests are there to support the couple not to endorse their religious choice. No one can validate your choice except you. It is very unreasonable of her. We always make excuses for crappy behavior from the Witnesses. Let her accomodate you. Graciousness, though, is supposedly a godly virtue. Anyway, they saidl only attend the reception. Lo and behold, they entered the church en masse. Initially, they came in for a quick peek.
Others have researched the Witness rules. As a lawyer, I see a big problem with Witness rules. It is the discretion left to the local elders. No matter what Brooklyn says, Witnesses must live under the regime (no joke, correct term) of the local dudes. Rules should be uniform to have value. Uniform rules ensure consistency and fairness. So much is left up to discretion. I had relatives who telephoned Bethel frequently about local brothers. They won usually but at what price? We live our lives locally. All politics is local.
This is your day (and maybe your fiances day). You are the bride. Your mother is not essential. My mom could quote whatever scripture or belief. When push came to shove, she was always present. You know your mom best but maybe she needs an etiquette book. I despise what all this cult stuff does to families. And it is cult stuff, not religion. Her presence in no way signals that she agrees with the church doctrine. I am New Yorker. When I attend my Christian services, many Jewish friends also attend at Christmas. I've been to Seders. No one was prosyletizing others. Maybe if she can refrain from preaching JW crap one day, you can promise not to chide her for being a silly culty Witness for one day.
And Jesus said to turn the other cheek.
d-yell---- The JW,s never tell anyone they cannot do things such as go into a church- or talk on the internet and things such as these-they may suggest that it may be inappropiate, but all have free will. And there are some who are weaker than others and should listen to the suggestions made- as for me personally-i would never walk into a church because i see them as the house of satan, and probably your mom does as well. Now when Jesus said that he came to tear families apart-these are the kinds of things he was speaking about. Your Mom feels she is standing up for God.as you do too- The best solution would have been a compromise- compromise is always the best solution-saves alot of trouble-saves alot of marriages. Your wedding day lasts for 1 day your relationship with your Mom lasts a lifetime.
My mother refused to attend my wedding. It wasn't really becuase it was in a non-JW building, but because there was a huge family fight going on. You see, a sibling and my mother had predecided for me and my spouse that our new home would include this fully functioning sibling living with us part time.... It was not asked, it was stated that this is the way it would be. This was decided a week before our wedding. I refused, and I was painted as the evil child for months & months.
Needless to say, I remember this most about my wedding day...my mother wasn't there. It makes me terribly sad and it ruined the day. She got what she wanted - to ruin my day because I wouldn't meet her demands. I've been married over 15 years, and it still hurts. My mother was an abusive mother, and many times I did not know her. She was, in some ways and on certain days, my biological DNA giver and not my mother. She had a lot of problems, mental, and I forgive her. She was doing the best she could. But, that doesn't mean I don't forger.
Skeeter
gud morning brother n sister, i m frm india,n i m nt baptized,i knw after baptized i should nt tak part in any religious thng,
i hv joined witness nt just 4 my partner,bt i lik d org n d way it works,i hv researched a lot on this,,i knw evry small thng wic JW witness should follow,
guys i ask 4 a help, i m nt here to mak an issue to anythng,
i knw jw's org is vry hard , bt i m trying my best to work as per stander,bt my borther is geting married ,i ll b attenting daT,,n it ill b my last religious function,so still i m looking for d ans dat if i want my partner to attnd my bro's weeding is sm thng wrong,(no part in religious thng she ill tak).
n i would lik to say u 1thng dat i n my partner stays far away frm each other she stays in dffrnt country frm 3yr,,so u guys cn thnk this all is nt just for fun i m doing,,,i lov her ,so i hv joined jw's org.
soo plz guide,helped me so dat i cn convience her mom,,plz......frnds.
thnk frm my point n understnd,god bless u all,,,,,,,bye
thxx 4 all ur reply.
