stopthepain,
I guess your avatar says it all.
I really enjoyed TJ's post,and I understand the point of positive thinking---but to trick yourself into thinking something that was personally bad into something good seems a little strange.
There's no "trick" and this isn't some Tony Robbins positve thinking pop-psychological ploy. "Reframing" is a term used by real cognitive psychotherapists with their patients. There's no need to "trick" yourself into thinking that a bad event is really all good --- but the point is to take whatever positive experience can be gleaned from it and certainly not to exagerate the negative (which you have done in spades).
If someone slightly enjoyed being a jehovahs witness,thats fine.Was it the worst thing on earth,no.But why do I have to accept it as a positive.
Again, this is dichotomous, cultish thinking as well as an overgeneralization. Your Witness experience can't be summed up as "good" or "bad" in it's totality. Nothing can. You can, though, see that some aspects were good, some were bad and some were neutral. To say "it was all good" or "it was all bad" is going to get you in trouble. But, I understand. It seems to be the natural human reaction to bounce in the exact opposite direction when changing a viewpoint. Like children raised by conservative parents who become liberal hippies. There is a nice middle position, however. And I do hope you find it.
Things could always be worse,thats a fact,but why can't you be upset because things weren't better.I'm pissed because all of this religous crap was useless.
There you go again -- "useless." Sorry, it wasn't all useless, even if it was -- ultimately -- wrong. I'm not going to get into what was useful about the "religious crap" -- I'm an atheist, by the way. I'll leave that project for you.
And, yes, you can be upset. But you seem -- and many, many ex-JWs seem -- to go beyond just "upset" and engage in the overgeralized, totally blown out of proportion type of emotionalism that you are currently engaging in. That's okay, dude. I was there and have posted my own pampers cry baby crap myself. Fortunately, things have gotten better for me.
People act like you couldn't have had things without the organization-----name one thing you couldnt have gotten without it.
frienship-no
structure-no
faith-no
speaking skills -no
That's extrememly irrational. Rarely is there any organization that truly offers something totally unique that you can't find anywhere else. Think about a university education. Do you need to have one to get a good job? No, look at Bill Gates the college dropout. Do you need a university diploma to be intelligent? No, you could be a self-made man through personal effort. Do you need to go to college to make friends? No, just hang out at bars.
Using your logic, because you don't need a university education to get any of the things I listed you really shouldn't go to college and it's not that important, nothing special. Big deal, right? Of course not. Just because the "good" that you or I experienced in the organization was not something unique to the WTS does not negate the good. Every good quality you indubitably have within your personality is not something only you possess, but that doesn't mean it doesn't count.
I strongly suggest you do some reading in the area of cognitive psychology. Go to your library and look for any book by Albert Ellis.
Only you can "stop the pain" for yourself.
Bradley
