Prevalence of JW Suicides - Real or Imagined? (page 4)

larc

Let us add another dimension to the middle of the story. Since you are always striving to do more in the Witness work and maintain all your other obligations, your body and your immune system begins to break down. You suffer more illness and/or chronic fatigue. You need spiritual help. You go to the elders who recognize your weakness but don't know the cure. You need a rest. You need a break. Their solution is quite different, however. You need more time in service and better meeting attendance. This is advice that will only make matters worse. Ah, but this summer I get two weeks vacation. I would like to get away for just two weeks. I need a break, but would that be the spiritual thing to do? No, I should auxillery pioneer that month. Now that's the solution isn't it?

For those who are sincere, zealous, believers, this is the kind of complex entanglement that can ruin their lives.
The mind and body can only take this for so long. Either the mind will deteriorate into a major depression or the body will deteriorate into a chronic series of illnesses.

larc

Maximus,

I added an addendum to my depiction while you were posting. Thank you for telling us of your experiences over the years.

I think what you have said and what I have said should make us all realize that there are lurkers here as we write, that are on that edge and need our help it we can give it.

Maximus

:: For those who are sincere, zealous, believers, this is the kind of complex entanglement that can ruin their lives. The mind and body can only take this for so long. Either the mind will deteriorate into a major depression or the body will deteriorate into a chronic series of illnesses.

You've just well-depicted many in the Bethel families, especially wives. And wives of circuit and district overseers. Sound familiar? Ask the physicians and others who have treated them for years. And the close friends who really know.

Behinds the facades are years of pain and frustration. And the system grinds away: "Is your faith waning? Losing the resurrection hope?"
"Put on the waiting attitude of Micah." "Wait on Jehovah."

When denial ultimately wears off and harsh reality sets in, the price is costly.

Call up and the platitudes pour: "Well, time to read the Bible daily, is it not?" "Have you prayed about the matter sufficiently?"

In another thread, I attempted to tap into areas of Nourishment for the Spirit. I am very moved at the depth and breadth of response. The human spirit can soar, fueled by the fulfillment of our inner need to know, to be understood, to love and be loved unconditionally.

And a little Mozart couldn't hurt.

Maximus
Hey, Farkel! Did you get to play that Steinway yet?

bboyneko

Don't forget the jehovahs witness who left to join the army, then inexplicably piloted his jet fighter straight into a mountain side. His mom was reportadly constantly giving him hell for having joined the military as she was still a practising JW. This happened in the United states about maybe 2 years ago I beleive..I'll try to find a link on cnn.com to the story

-Dan

Pathofthorns

I think these numbers are higher than Witnesses would like to believe. Most honest people who are or who have been Witnesses, as has already been stated, would agree that there is a high degree of depression amongst them.

But what happens is that often these ones as they become depressed, fall out of the routine. Meeting attendance and service disappear and they tend to withdraw from associating with the general witness population.

In this state, if they were to make a suicide attempt or actually succeed, most will try to distance themselves from the incident stating that the individual was no longer an "active witness".

Since most suicides would likely take place among these witnesses on the "fringes" of the organization, numbers of witnesses who take thier own life could easily be portrayed to be very minimal, when in reality they could be very high.

I would also think that those that commit or attempt suicide were at one time their most active members and loyal believers who for various reasons, could no longer continue the same high level of "service" they once did.

My observation is that anyone who loses a position or a title in the organization almost inevitably falls into a period of depression. Things such as an elder or a pioneer or a bethelite being removed or "stepping down" from such a position often sends them into a downward spiral spiritually and emotionally and psychologically. The Society has no programs to reach out to these ones and they are simply viewed as "old news" and "has beens" until they get back to where they once were.

Path

Mommie Dark

Yes, the religion can drive people over the edge and lead them to believe death is preferable to trying to live with JW guilt.

When I was a young 'believing walkaway' I met a guy who was viciously angry with JWs. His JW cousin had suicided; the note she left said, "I'm sorry; I know too much." She was 17.

A sister in the Wadsworth OH congregation, who had always been someone's sheltered possession (first pioneer daddy's and then elder hubby's) was entirely unprepared for life as a widowed single mother of three litle boys. Her elder/pioneer hubby hadn't left her financially secure after his untimely death. She fell apart fast.
One of my hardhearted JW sisters took gloating pleasure in phoning me long-distance to tell me that this sister, having 'fallen into sin with a worldly man out of her lack of self-control', was disfellowshipped and subsequently shunned by all her support system. She suicided by hanging herself in her stairwell; her kids found her.
The implication was that she deserved her fate. Reason for sis to call me? To remind me that this woman was df and that it would be inappropriate for me to grieve for her or express sorrow to the family!

I'd bet almost everyone here has similar anecdotal evidence...this is one of dirtiest little secrets JWs carry around inside those whitewashed tombs they call hearts...

Quester

larc - you describe very well exactly why I had to leave the jw religion.

I remember all those wt and awake articles about depression,
yet the society never gets a clue that THEY are the problem not
the individual jw. It is an unhealthy spiritually abusive environment.

How much a person does is never enough.
Labeled "spiritually weak" when you cannot do all that is demanded.
So can't talk about it, must pretend and fake it.
The individual is always the problem, not the org.
Don't trust yourself. Trust the org over and above your own conscience.

These are all dynamics of dysfunctional system.

But what is really sad though, is those who are already battered and
beaten by the org, come here to this forum and get battered and
beaten some more.

I always hear that jw's need to learn to think for themselves.
But what happens when someone does that here on this forum?

They are ridiculed, criticized, called stupid and abused all over
again. I see the cycle of abuse repeated here on this forum a lot.

Freedom of speech does not mean trampling on and abusing others.

Let's give people room to think for themselves and make mistakes
and say dumb things and learn and grow without being severely
ridiculed for it.

I recently had someone very politely and discreetly correct me
on this forum. And I was very grateful that it was handled
in such kind manner. Quester

Eusebius Hieronymus

UP

soylibre

There is a video called "Mental Health and Jehovah's Witnesses" by an ex-JW, phd, clinical psychologist....he asserts that rate of mental illness are higher amongst JWs than other religions....

I personally have known three people who have committed suicide...

1.Wife of an elder who had been severly abused by JW parents...hung herself in a mental hospital.....JW parents have never been brought before a judicial committee even though their sons who are now elders knew of and remember the abuse in the family....
2.Grown son of an elder...he went to the assembly to see his little son give his #2 bible reading talk...said he didn't feel well at intermission and went home....hung hisself...wife found him when she returned from assembly.
3.Young man who was the son of a very close friend of mine...he was df'd in his mid-teens, emotionally a little unstable, his father had been a wife beating elder....his step father an inactive porn freak, and when he got df'd his own mother wouldn't pray for him....he always had classic symptoms of problems...would even wet the bed as a 13 year old...anyway...he hung hiself about 6 weeks ago.

I'll never forget them....Starla, Kevin, and Cameron...

Enlighted UK

I know of one instance a few years ago.

Brother in his late 30's, married, 1 stepdaughter, 1 son, 1 (very new) baby daughter.

Had MANY cleaning jobs to make ends meet (I used to baby sit while both parents were out cleaning in the evenings).

With all the pressures from the org, he couldn't take it anymore. He had spoken to many elders in the cong, there was no comfort from the org.

Around memorial time, he drove his car a short distance, and ran a hose from the exhaust pipe into his car, closed the windows and turned on the engine..................................

His wife has since remarried but hates memorial time because of all the memories. She has since asked elders (one in particular) many deep questions about the organisation, which he can't answer, he can't help her. She is still struggling.

----------------

Part of my job is to collate suicide statistics for the region. I shall have a closer look and see what I find.

I hate the thought of someone thinking life is not worth living, when all they have to look forward to is many more years as a pressured JW.

Enlighted UK

Prevalence of JW Suicides - Real or Imagined?

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