Wow. The responses to this thread are really insightful (for the most part). Reminds me of my upbringing as a Dub, and how much odd, "unsocialized" behavior I'd seen - spanning all demographics - during that time.
I know that elders are under tremendous stress (mainly because they are expected to be ministers, counselors, therapists, psychologists, detectives and Bible scholars - all with NO formal training), and knew several that tried to hide (ususally unsuccessfully) drinking problems - I can only imagine how this must be for their familes to endure. The stresses of being "shepherds", as well as policemen of sorts, towards the congregation members is unreal. My dad & brother are both elders, and I remember my brother saying to me, when he was appointed, "Once you become an elder, you see all of the problems a congregation is having - some of them are really horrible!" It was in this congregation that I grew up in, where a young JW girl that I went to grade school with was sexually abused (along with her 2 sisters) by her father - a Ministerial Servant. Silentlambs, this was another case that was NOT reported to the authorities. The father admitted to it after YEARS of intercourse with his own daughters, and was DF'd. His wife divorced him, he later re-married another sister in the same congregation, and was reinstated shortly after that. I guess that's what J R Brown would call a "sincerely repentant former child molester." No more microphone handling for him, though - THAT'LL teach him!
There ARE elders who really are good men - kind, caring, truly interested in trying to help the "flock" - but they are few and far between. Sadly, due to the pressures to perform and conform to the strict edicts of the Society, many of these good men have been known to snap, and suffer from debilitating depression, anxiety or more serious mental illnesses.
There was a really sweet, older elder named Max Beavers who, along with his wife, moved into our congregation. He was one of the most gentle, kind, considerate men I have ever known during my whole time as a JW. Inexplicably, about a year or so after joing our congregation, he shotgunned himself in his shower. His wife came home and found him. A story soon circulated that he had been on some type of "medication", was not in his right mind, and that his suicide was the result. I remember thinking at the time that the story seemed so out of character for him, that it sounded fabricated and hollow. It always reminds me of what my brother and others in his position had told me; being an elder means you see all of the open wounds of the congregation.
I know now that some, but not all, of those wounds are self-inflicted.
--Michael