I did, it was just something I wanted to believe badly.
Every time when somebody passed away, I tried to comfort with: "who knows which pain or deception they have'nt to be endured now" and "they surely will have a second chance now"
But then my mother died (born 1916) and a lot of the oldies in our congregation died. And they were expecting never to die.
When my father died - it brought me nearer to the Watchtower becouse of the resurrection promise - his "second" chance.
When my mother died - I drifted away.