OK, I HAVE to meet with the judicial committee. Advice?

AlmostAtheist

Hey Guys,

"HAVE to?" you say, "No you don't, you mind-controlled idiot. Tell 'em to fark off." Actually, that's what I'd always planned to do, but we have a problem. Gina's sister's (a "good" JW) baby is due in about a month and a half and she really wants to be able to hold the baby one time before we're DF'd. The committee chairman called me tonight and set me up for a meeting next Saturday (1/22) at the Kingdumb Hell. They want to discuss our celebrating Christmas. They met me at my wreath-and-lights-decorated door one day to discuss it, so there's no denying it or any such thing. So, I have two questions:

1) How can I stretch this thing out to span about three months? As I understand it, there is one appeal available after they make their decision. If the appeal committee agrees with the decision of the first committee, then I can write a letter to the appeal committee stating that I still don't agree. According to the elder's manual, they are required to forward that letter to Brooklyn and wait for a reply. No announcement can be made until that letter is received. Is that it? Any tricks to stretch it? Any mistakes I could make that would short-circuit it?

2) How can I best handle the meeting to get the most bang for the buck? I'm going to be discussing Christmas with three elders. They'll have a few Watchtowers, probably the [lack of] Reasoning Book, and of course their secret elder's book (with matching decoder ring) What can I say to them that has the best chance of helping them to see that they themselves need to escape, too? (One of these guys is about my age, with kids about the age of mine. I really feel for him and would love to help him out.)

Thanks for your replies. I'm nervous, but primarily because I'm not sure I can play them well enough to buy the time I need.

Dave

ValiantBoy

Do you really have to prolong it? or is the sister the type that won't have anything to do with you once you're df'd? A lot of families break that rule.

Mulan

I think you have two appeals.

Scully

You could ask them to explain Romans 14:1-6

Welcome the [man] having weaknesses in [his] faith, but not to make decisions on inward questionings. One [man] has faith to eat everything, but the [man] who is weak eats vegetables. Let the one eating not look down on the one eating, and let the one not eating not judge the one eating, for God has welcomed that one. Who are you to judge the house servant of another? To his own master he stands or fails. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for Jehovah can make him stand.
One [man] judges one day as above another; another [man] judges one day as all others; let each [man] be fully convinced in his own mind. He who observes the day observes it to Jehovah. Also, he who eats, eats to Jehovah, for he gives thanks to God; and he who does not eat does not eat to Jehovah, and yet gives thanks to God.
vs 10-12:
But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you also look down on your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written: " ' As I live,' says Jehovah, 'to me every knee will bend down, and every tongue will make open acknowledgement to God.' " So, then, each of us will render an account for himself to God.

First you need to get them to agree that the Bible is the standard and the final authority. If they agree to that, then they have no choice but to admit that your celebrating Christmas (or any other observance) is for Jehovah to judge, not them... at least according to this scripture. Basically, it's saying that "weak" Christians abstain from observances/practices and judge their brothers who participate or partake.

The other thing is, pull out the Dec 15/2001 Questions From Readers, so that if you decide to take the responsibility for the decision to have Christmas and allow them to DF or DA you, you can tell them that your wife went along with it but did not participate in any False Worship?. Pull the headship thing on them if you want to spare your wife the burden of being DFd and having her risk losing out on her sister's association.

ESTEE

1) How can I stretch this thing out to span about three months?

Postpone the meeting if it something you really feel you must attend ...or even better, just cancel it and say, "Something has come up. Let me call you when I know more what my schedule will be like." If you really still want to be a brother in the next three months, postpone, postpone, postpone. The elders are not your friends. They are not there to encourage you. The elders want you df'd before the birth of the baby. They figure that will "motivate" you to repentanceTM. You know, the old "emotional famial blackmail". You know how I know that? Because the elders df'd me two weeks after my mom died, in the hope that I might repent. No kidding. Loving bunch.

2) How can I best handle the meeting to get the most bang for the buck?

The only bang you will see is the one where they announce you as df'd, AlmostAthiest.

Truly, if you think you must have the meeting, then just do a no-show. Usually in these cases where the elders have evidence against you, you just know you are going to be df'd. The end.

Love

ESTEE

coldfish

Is it possible for you to talk with Gina's sister and say 'Hey you know that its more than likely we will be disfellowshipped soon over this xmas stuff and we know you won't be able to see us, but we'd really really love to see and hold the baby just once. Would you let that happen?'

Surely if she's a decent person with any compassion she would let you. You could assure her that it would be done in secret and no one would find out about it so she wouldn't get condemned.

confusedjw

It won't matter, but you can mention that the "brothers" were celebrating xmas in 1919 when they were chosen by God to be the FDS - so if xmas is so bad how could they become the "chosen ones" while celebrating it?

AlmostAtheist

[QUOTE]

'we'd really really love to see and hold the baby just once. Would you let that happen?'
Surely if she's a decent person with any compassion she would let you. You could assure her that it would be done in secret and no one would find out about it so she wouldn't get condemned.

[/QUOTE]

Man, that is such an excellent point. I was trying to play it from the standpoint of gaming their stupid system, it never occurred to me to appeal to the sister's humanity. I'll bat it around with Gina.

(BTW, I'm posting with Firefox and I don't have the topic editor thingy. It's just a text box. That's why my posts are so oddly formatted!)

Dave

hillbilly

Stall around.......... be sick, outta town, whatever..........They will wait or just DF ya in absence.

Really its up to your sis in law as to how she will deal with you. DF or status quo.

The WT suks, dont it?

~Hill

XQsThaiPoes

DFING FOR XMAS WTF? The july 15th awake said it was up to you and depended on local custom. it may have been a dfing offence in the early 1990's but as far as a know many jws celebrated the holidays this year. It is also not like you or any other christian with room temperature IQ believes jesus was born on dec 25th. the wts as always had the stance a wife should celebrate xmas if her wordly husband orders her to. wtf are your elders thinking?

OK, I HAVE to meet with the judicial committee. Advice?

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