Fear!

by LittleToe 114 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Doubtfully Yours

  Fear is a normal human emotion. Some degree of it is healthy.

  DY
• 

  LittleToe

  DY:
  Sure, but how do you deal with it?

  More importantly, how do you condition yourself so that "irrational" fears become less of a nuisance?

  (I re-thought what Xena said earlier, and she makes an excellent distinction)
• 

  Xena

  Xena:So, someone parks in front of your car, blocking your exit.
  You need to go looking for him, to move it, but he's a 6', 230lb guy with a bad temper.

  after quelling my initial angry reaction of wanting to confront him....which probably wouldn't be a good idea. I would reason out the most effective way to handle the matter with the minimum risk to myself while still achieving my objective. My fear of him tempered with wisdom would cause me to go to the management and allow them to handle it.

  How did I do???
• 

  Xena

  here is an example of what you might have been thinking about initially..

  A friend I have is considering leaving the dubs but she fears if she does her mother will cut her off. My response to her was you can either stay a dub and live your life by their rules and have your mother's conditional love or you can live your life the way you see fit and hope your mother comes around. If she doesn't then was her love really the kind you would want anyway?

  Is her fear rational or irrational?
• 

  LittleToe

  Xena:

  How did I do???

  You did good. Not by way of comparision with anyone else, because that's not my point, but simply because you did what YOU had to do.

  So that's mainly the external mechanics of how you solved the problem. Can we wind that back a few minutes (if you don't mind, that is?)?

  First you felt fear (understandable!!!), then you felt angry, then you thought through a course of action, then you acted.

  Internally: did the anger over-ride the fear, to allow you to think constructively?
  Once you'd thought out the plan, what allowed you to act on it? Was there residual anger? Or did you use another coping mechanism to override further fear (maybe of reprisals)?
• 

  stopthepain

  as an american,this country thrives on fear,fear of health problems ,fear of terrorism,fear of lost income,fear of not meeting the status quo,fear of your nieghbors,fear of different cultures,fear of not living up to others standards,fear of not looking right physically.

  Fear is something you can't escape,you are bombarded with things to be afraid of,the root cause of this is money.

  Is this the same around the world?
• 

  Xena

  So that's mainly the external mechanics of how you solved the problem. Can we wind that back a few minutes (if you don't mind, that is?)?
  

  First you felt fear (understandable!!!), then you felt angry, then you thought through a course of action, then you acted.

  Did the anger over-ride the fear, to allow you to think constructively?
  Once you'd thought out the plan, what allowed you to act on it? Was there residual anger? Or did you use another coping mechanism to override further fear (maybe of reprisals)?

  lol why do I feel like a guinia pig here???

  Actually I felt anger first...then upon realizing the person I was angry at could ultimately cause me harm, I felt fear. The fear overrode the anger and caused me to rethink the situation. lol my irritation at having my garage blocked spurred me to act...there was still some residual fear but it was overridden by the irritation. Or so I would imagine...
• 

  Deputy Dog

  LT

  LOL

  DDog:Ah, sorry, I see that we DID get the long version

  Give me a break! I'm typing as fast as I can.

  Would you like to posit some examples?

  That list is probably different for everyone.

  Do you think the level to which we love, in this context, has an effect on the amount we fear?

  I wonder, if, the amount we percieve that we are loved, could have a greater effect?

  Theological or practical it doesn't matter.

  D Dog
• 

  LittleToe

  Xena:
  It's been a long day, but I'll have a stab at your example, and hope that I come over in a semi-coherent manner (apologies in advance, if I'm unsuccessful):

  Is her fear rational or irrational?

  There are several fears here, that are affected by subjective and objective circumstances.
  Here are just a few questions, with which to test the hypothesis:

  • Has her upbringing caused her to fear what her mother "may" do, or is she certain (from objective observation) of what her mother's course of action is likely to be (ultimately it's a prediction, but in such a situation with historical data, she might be right on the money).
  • How good has she been at determining this in the past?
  • Has she seen examples of her mother acting in this kind of way?
  • How much WILL it actually affect her, if her mother acts in each of the two likely outcomes (this one is VERY subjective with LOTS of caveats, immediate and future)?

  So I guess my answer to you is "it depends".

  Again, in your example, how will she deal with this. She will likely either confront her fear, else live in fear.
  How does that saying go, about breaking inertia? I'll attempt to paraphrase it: Something like, when the fear to go becomes less than the fear to stay, then action may be taken?

  I guess what I'm proposing is that it may be possible for some to reduce their fear to go, resulting in them being able to act.
  For some that will be a leap of faith.
  It's quite likely there will be unsuspected consequences (I found that out, in my own case, when leaving the borg). But do we allow a fear of the unknown to paralyse us from acting when we need to?

  Maybe some of the fears are rational. Maybe, for some, the price of freedom is too high. Maybe that will change as circumstances change (like parents passing away, for example).
  Maybe not...
• 

  zen nudist

  from what I have come to understand....

  fear seems to be anticipation of pain....

  the main source of fear seems to be experience... and so many fears are rational...

  but

  false certainty over the future can become debilitating and when turned inward lead to depression or anger as well....

  fear can also arise from a false understanding of others... and what they may do if they discover something unknown to them now.... anticipation of punishment.

  it seems to me that mankind's god[s] are irrational hopes invented to ward off irrational fears.