LOL...It's like dialing a phone number without waiting for the dial tone. I don't know about Jesus working as a prayer operator. I bet the system can easily be automated and Jesus would be out of the job.
[dialtone, touch-tone dialing, ring, ring]
Thank you for calling Jesus' Prayer Line.
This is an automated system that can handle most inquiries.
If after using this system, your prayer is not answered,
please, stay on the line
and a representative will be with you shortly.
If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, please press 1.
If you are calling from a cellular phone, please press 2.
If you are calling from a pay phone, please press 3.
If you are calling from a car phone, please press 4.
If you are calling from a secret-spy phone, please press 5.
If you are calling from a princess, phone, please press 6
If you are calling from a car fax, please press 7.
and If you are calling from a rotary phone, please, stay on the line
Make your selection at any time.
[touch-tone 1]
Make your selection at any time.
[three touch-tone 1's]
For information in English, please press 1.
For information in Spanish, please press 2.
For information in Japanese, please press 3.
For information in Chinese, please press 4.
For information in Dutch, please press 5.
For information in Latvian, please press 6.
For information in French, please press 7.
For information in Yiddish, please press 8.
For information in Ig-pay Atin-lay, lease-pay ress-pay ine-nay.
[touch-tone 1]
[long touch-tone 6]
Please make a selection at any time.
[three touch-tone 6's]
For help with your homework, press 1.
For winning lottery numbers, press 2.
For help with getting that cute blonde in the Billing department to notice you, press 3.
For information about lost kittens, press 4.
To get out of jury duty, press 5.
For all other prayers, press 6.
[four touch-tone 6's]
If you have not set foot in a church in the last three years, press 7. If you have been to church in the last three years but have robbed a bank, cheated on your spouse or committed a misdemeanor AND voted 'yes' on Proposition 215, press 8.
[touch-tone entry]
Make your selection at any time.
[here begins the touch-tone frenzy]
Make your selection at any time.
The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.
The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.
There is a possibility that you have made an error in
selecting your message. Please try again.
The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.
There is a possibility that you have made an error in
selecting your message. Please try again.
I'm sorry, but we are unable to interpret your request.
Please call back during normal business hours.
[CLICK ... sound of dialing]
Thank you for calling Jesus' Prayer Line.
This is an automated system that can handle most inquiries.
If after using this system, your prayer is not answered,
please, stay on the line
and a representative will be with you shortly.
[fades out on]
If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, please press 1.
If you are calling from a cellular phone, please press 2...
(Tool lyrics paraphrased)
p.s. i think some of that "in Jesus' name" stuff stems from the rituals, particularly in the Catholic church. when i was very young, before the jw's got their claws into us, we were Catholic. i always found the rosaries, imagery and rituals beautiful and comforting. reciting "in Jesus' name" or something like that made prayers seem more special and "holy". but i don't pray anymore...
