Head of the house? Who?

by upside/down 26 Replies latest jw friends

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  iiz2cool
• 

  upside/down

  So this "pseudo-headship" is REAL. I didn't just imagine it. My Dub wife was very submissive as long as I did everything her way. I also learned that being "unloving"=saying "no".

  Example: Wifey: I want to go shopping!

  Hubby: No, we don't have any money.

  Wifey: You're not loving- I'm telling the elders!

  Hubby" Go ahead (b*tch)

  Elders: Is it true you won't let you're wife go shopping?

  Hubby: No, I'm just not going to let her bounce checks. When we've got $, she can go.

  Elders: You're right, you're hubby is "unloving".

  Wife: See I told you, see what I have to live with- I'm sure J would approve of me leaving this "abusive" man, it's not good for my spirituality!

  Hubby: this is Bullsh*t!

  Elders: We always knew he had "apostate" leanings. Bastard! Our wives were right about him...

  Hubby: I quit!

  Elders: See wifey J has " called you to peace".

  Wifey: Wow, "waiting on J" really does work, praise J for "keeping the congo clean"!!

  GAG LMAO.

  You know it's true! (names changed and paraphrased to protect the guilty)

  u/d
  
  
  
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  Stefanie

  hmm, I did see that kind of stuff in the cong, however my situation was totally oposite.

  I couldnt go shopping and NO I couldnt tell the elders. I never called them for anything I just took the abuse up the ass!
• 

  upside/down

  Sorry to hear that Steph...

  You were obviously one of the "good" ones. That's why you ended up here on JWD. The "good" ones always do.

  u/d
• 

  talesin

  u/d

  Thank you for starting this thread.

  I've not been in a KH since I was 18, and really truly missed all of this shit. I've dealt with normal people all my life (ie, not JW), so the dynamics of 'adult' (and I use the term loosely) JW relationships were unknown to me.

  Man, the KH is a living hell. No wonder so many exJWs are paranoid about male-female friendship ,,, it doesn't exist in JW-dom as it does in the free world. So sad ...

  t
• 

  carla

  You mean I get to run the household? great!

  Never being jw perspective-- first of all, and some of you may take offense, sorry. Husband has only tried that a "head of the household" crap a few times. My reply? That comment from the bible is for Christians, as I do not consider jw's Christians in any sense of the word, it doesn't apply in this household. Furthermore, I believe to be "head of the household" , one must actually be home to be considered as such. He had that once upon a time, he threw that away. He had the Norman Rockwell life or the Leave it to Beaver life, he threw it away. That scripture can no longer be applied in this house!!! And for those of you who may say, who am I to pass judgement, I will ask- would you have the same opinion if this was a Satanic org? why not? Isn't it "freedom of religion, not passing judgement?" In my mind, the wt org is not that far off from any Satanic org. The Wiccans have more respect for life than the wt, as do Native American's. Which I believe both of the above would be labeled as "pagan".

  The head of the "house" is the person who is actually there mentally and in body. That does not fit my jw husband. That only goes to show the "fruits" of the society in my mind. How could anyone belonging to one of the most insidious cults on the face of this planet be considered the head of anything?

  carla
• 

  Fe2O3Girl

  Unlike some posters, I wasn't privy to what went on in private in each family in my congregation, and as we aren't allowed to discuss physical abuse, my comments can only be limited.

  I know what life was like in my house, and he was the BOSS. This was established very early on by a pattern of criticism and ridicule of every little thing I did. His dad was an elder, and he told me that I need not bother going to the elders about our relationship, because they would not be interested and would not intervene. So, I never spoke to anyone about it.

  And yes, they are losing the cream of the women from my old congregation. There are three of us posting on this board.
• 

  Sith

  Carla, according to your line of reasoning, Hazel was the head of the Baxter household, and Alice was in charge of the Bradys
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  luna2

  I thought Hazel was the head of the Baxter house. LOL

  The congregations I was a part of had a mix. There were definitly households where the women ruled, some barely pretending that their husbands were the head. In others, the men were like petty tyrants. There was a third very tiny group where there seemed to be a partnership and those appeared to be the happiest marriages....its hard to tell, though, because JW's are masters of deception. What you see at the Hall very often has little to do with what's going on at home.
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  carla

  naw, Sith, just blowing some steam. We actually did have more of that kind of household. Not that he was 'lord' of his castle or anything. Just more traditional. We were more equals, had to be, we had a business together. But when it came to big decisions like what car, etc.. I would usually go along with him. My comment of the wife being the head was in reference to above comments that jw women are stronger personalities than maybe the wt likes to admit. Things in this household are just so different and it because he is not the same, doesn't think the same. carla