Head of the house? Who?

by upside/down 26 Replies latest jw friends

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  jeanniebeanz

  Pretty much, if a man has to say "I'm the head of this family," he isn't...

  Marriage is a partnership in this modern world. If either makes a power grab to declare themselves the head, they are pretty stupid.

  J
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  Sith

  Maybe the reason the majority of marriages in this country are failing, or have failed, is because the modern American marriage is TOO much of a partnership.
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  jeanniebeanz

  Maybe that depends on your idea of a partnership? I think too many marriages fail because people did not take the time to find a true partner; someone who really shares their own world-view, tastes, likes and dislikes, and goals in life. Power struggles happen because either one or the other is a power freak, or two people want to go different directions in life. First off, you don't want to be married to a power freak, and if you take the time agree to a plotted course you both want to take before marriage, you're already on the same page, not fighting over the steering-wheel...

  J
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  Sith

  Many marriages fail because people don't take the time to find a compatible mate. True enough. Life changes us all, and the course we've decided upon and set sail on with our significant other will most likely change somewhere down the line. The commitment to changing with each other is what keeps marriages together.
  
  Every government, every business, every organization, really every group, has a head. 50/50 partnerships very seldom work. There has to be an ultimate authority, an ultimate responsible party. In a marriage, whether that authority is the man or the woman, may not matter. What matters is that one of them take the "lead", which in my world, means responsibility.
• 

  upside/down

  The JW form of "headship" is just so messed up.

  They don't even live by their own rules.

  HYPOCRITES!!!

  u/d
• 

  EvilForce

  Well Sith...our run of agreement has run it's course for now.... I disagree.
  
  A marriage whether str8 or gay is figuring out who is best at doing what. Take advantage of each other's strengths. In our relationship I handle the money and paying bills. My husband takes care of the societal / recreation planning and stuff. We share the cooking and cleaning. He keeps the computers at work humming and I run the clinic. He generally runs the errands except for groceries which I do since I like doing that. So to me it's the best of both worlds. We defer to whomever is stronger in that field. When it's a big decision like where we live, house to buy, etc....we sit down and talk that out. I think two parties that choose to be together are better than two parties where one HAS to do what the other says.
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  Sith

  Evil, my boy...once again you are wrong. We actually agree on more than we disagree. I, too, believe that a couple should play to their strengths. I, by no means, advocate a dictatorship. But I believe that in hetero relationships, traditional marriage works best. Sorry I can't speak for gay relationships; never having batted for that team. The man has a role that he is best suited for, and the woman has her natural role. When roles and responsibilities are blurred, traditional marriages and families suffer. Look at the increase of divorce, the rise of teenaged and unwanted pregnancy and the fact that the majority of boys in this country are lost as to what their place is. Too many fatherless kids and too many deadbeat dads. The truth is, in heterosexual families, weak men make weak families. This may surprise you, but I place the blame squarely on the shoulders of men.
  
  I'm happy for you and your partner. You seem to have found your nitch. That's not true with much of America. Good luck to you and yours. I mean that most sincerely.