homophobia is a mis-nomer

by sawthelight 36 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  logical

  Sawthelight

  Indeed you have seen the light. I agree with you. I dont like homosexuality. The people I am learning not to hate, but the practice is evil.

  (expecting loads of flames now saying I am a closet queer - thats their only attack as they know I am right)

  BTW Lisa, race and sexuality CANNOT in ANY circumstances be compared.

  Race = natural. You cannot change your race (unless you are Michael Jackson).
  Homosexuality = Unnatural. But I dont want to go there again.

  r51785 - I wish I could be like that. Im trying...
• 

  larc

  logical,

  I think one thing we have try to achieve is acceptance, acceptance in ourselves and acceptance in other people. Now, if we believe, as I think most will, that we were born imperfect, then we have to accept that imperfection. You believe that being a homosexual is wrong. Well, so be it. You also believe that certain things about you are wrong, because you have told us so. Well, so be it. I think if we can learn to accept each other with all our blemishes, mistakes, and misfortunes, then we will be happier for it. Since God made us what we are, I don't think he will be unduely harsh in judging us for what we are.

  Logical, on a personal note, just between you and me, I know that you don't like me very much, because you think I am an uncaring smart ass, but I do care about you, and I am glad to see you express yourself so cogently as of late.
• 

  waiting

  Hello y'all,

  My father was a violent man, also a homosexual, who used to have me watch him and his partners sometimes (I was very young and he babysat me. Guess he didn't want me to play in traffic, eh?)

  My aunt, who was the first in her Irish immigrant family to graduate college with two Masters Degrees simultaneously, hid her homosexuality from her immediate family for decades. Had the equivelant of 3 marriages in her long life. However, she was a very brittle, demeaning woman. Her family didn't accept her education or her non-marriage - and were vocal about it.

  My son is an open to family, very conservative homosexual. He's living with another conservative man - and they seem quite happy in a normal life way. He's settled down a lot from the years of getting drunk etc., - as he says, just to relieve some of the stress of living a double life. He enters his second year of Law School, in top 20% of his class. He's an assistant to one of his professors, who is demanding he bring his grades up - as he feels my son is deliberatly slacking in class.

  My daughter is marrying a man whose beautiful daughter is a lesbian (at least most of us are giving an educated guess at it), but is going to an untra-religious college, severe depression, etc., trying to deal with it by not acknowledging it (the first known in their family.) She's living with another girl (but *only* as room mates) and has never dated.

  My first husband's mother went the entire route - burr haircut, sock in pants, etc. Lived as a man married to a woman. Brilliant artist, but the double life took it's toll on her mental stability. She also had a hair lip and cleft palete disfiguration (had many surgeries and uniquely good looking in a Greta Garbo type of way when young, but with speech impediment.) Her husband dumped her and new baby saying she was a freak, and she found acceptance and friendship among women.

  I've got a fair experience of being around homosexuals. They're like the rest of us - except traditionally they had to live double lives or be shunned by the world - at the least. At the worst, they would be killed.

  Like the rest of us - some are nice, intelligent, funny, beautiful. Some are not. I don't talk about what I do in my bedroom with my husband and I don't want to hear what they do in their bedrooms with their mates. Live and let live.

  Other than that, we all seem to be pretty much the same.

  waiting
• 

  BugEye

  sawthelight

  If we assume that homophobia is a short version of homosexualphobia, then we can begin there.

  The fear of another homosexual is not the only possibility, there is also the fear of homosexual thoughts within oneself. Most psychologists recognise that fears and hatred often stem from fears and hatreds of ones inner self.

  I would imagine, although I may be corrected, that if you were to wake up one morning and realise that you were fantasizing about having sex with a man that once it came to your conscious awareness, fear would not describe adequately what you would feel.

  Most likely you would be feeling sheer terror, terror of what may be inside of you and in this case, you do indeed have homophobia.

  Personally I am not a homosexual and I find nothing stimulating about thinking of men in a sexual way. It is a turn off for me.

  Maybe you would do well to examine your motives for the "repulsion" and hatred that you feel towards homosexuals. I am not suggesting that you learn to enjoy erotic thoughts about them, but in the same way that you can accept the thought of an unnatractive couple having sex, you should be able to accept that some people, right or wrong according to your moral code, are homosexual and have every right to be so. Each to his/her own.

  I find that judging others is neither healthy nor beneficial for oneself.

  BugEye
• 

  joelbear

  I have always disliked the term homophobia and think the gay politico movement trots it out way to often in an attempt to paint everyone against their goals as a bigot, while there is a difference of opinion on gay issues even among the gay community. Of course, they then bring out the term self loathing homosexual.

  I suppose I am grateful to some extent for gay extremists since they keep the discussion public. I am glad that I am no longer considered a felon in my home state. For myself, I have no intention of forcing an employer to hire me even though he doesn't want to employ a homosexual. Mitch and I have never run into problems with finances or with hospitals. Frankly, I think more of myself than that. I have no interest in working at a company that is that small minded.

  I don't think people fear homosexuals. I think their dislike for homosexuals comes from several emotions, all of which I consider legitimate feelings.

  1. Primal - Homosexual sex cannot create life therefore on a primal level it is bad in that it does not further the species.

  2. Moral - Religious and cultural writings generally condemn it. People, in general, need cultural connection in order to have a sense of well being.

  3. Personal - Bad experience with homosexuals or possibly being molested by a homosexual causing lasting emotional harm.

  4. Internal - People who have homosexual desires themselves and therefore hate anything that reminds them of it. I fell into this category myself for quite some time. In high school I was the first in line to tease the effeminite boys, what better way to cover my own lusting for the football team.

  5. Distaste - People who don't like to think about the physical acts of homosexuality because they are distasteful to them and cannot separate the person from the sex act. I heard Boy George very articulately discuss this once. Anal sex is simply disgusting to many many people and they cannot separate that from the person they are standing in front of.

  In my experience, I have met people from each category. I am very open about myself and so I tend to make people come down on one side or the other. Those who don't like me simply avoid contact with me. I gave up the idea of converting everyone to pro-homosexual a while back. It is simply irrelevant to me whether everyone in the world likes me or not.

  I am disappointed that my family and a number of my friends could not weigh their love for me as myself against their emotional response to my homosexuality. But, I have given up this fight also. Its boring.

  I do find it odd that people have a need to publicly state their feelings about homosexuality as with this post. Since billions of people share their views of homosexuality it isn't exactly a special attribute for them. If they are looking for a fight with a homo or a homo lover, I guess that can be thrilling for a while, although I find it dull.

  homo hugs

  Joel
• 

  LadyBug

  I agree with Englishman in that Sawthelight is expressing a personal preference and that is his perogative. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and just because they don't agree with what you or I feel doesn't mean they are wrong.

  I don't hate homosexuals. There are actually some nice people that are homosexuals. There are homosexual people on this board that I have come to like as people. That doesn't mean I don't cringe when they speak about their homosexual exploits. Maybe one day I will come to accept that too, but for now I think not.

  In my present state of mind, the act of homosexuality is unnatural. Slam me if you insist, but we are all entitled to our own opinion whether it agrees with yours or not.

  So Bugeye love of my life I have to differ with your opinion on this one

  Maybe you would do well to examine your motives for the "repulsion" and hatred that you feel towards homosexuals. I am not suggesting that you learn to enjoy erotic thoughts about them, but in the same way that you can accept the thought of an unnatractive couple having sex, you should be able to accept that some people, right or wrong according to your moral code, are homosexual and have every right to be so.

  Personally finding something distasteful doesn't mean you are judging them.

  LadyBug
• 

  joelbear

  Lady,

  Your comments don't offend me at all.

  I know what gets me off and I apologize to no one for it. I also understand that this position will inhibit my relationships with some people.
• 

  philo

  My feeling toward homosexuals has changed from polite hatred to full acceptance. At the age of 9, at our boarding school, I had a momentary realisation that I loved a pretty blond boy of my own age called Travers. He looked a lot like me, so maybe these were more my first feelings of self-love than a homosexual love. I quickly snuffed out these feelings, and this could have been the beginnings of my childish, homo-hatred. Perhaps it was not until I started to leave the WT religion that I regained a measure of self-love, and possibly this coincided with my homo-acceptance.

  What I AM sure about, is that anybody who calls down evil on Southampton football club has reserved for themselves a special place in hell, and that they will be required to form an orderly queue in front of a small, waist-high guillotine. I mourn for their spare parts.

  Hope this may help someone.

  philo
• 

  Englishman

  Wonderfully frank stuff indeed Mister P.

  Now, to business that really matters, are you telling me, sir, that you are one of the Archers Road brigade? Ye gods man, have you no shame?

  I refuse to eat bacon because it has red and white stripes in it!

  Englishman.

  ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.
• 

  Bendrr

  I've had a few gay friends, even a gay roommate once. Only once did one of his friends disrespect my boundaries, and James promptly took care of that. I've always found gay folks to be pretty cool to be around.
  That said, I'd like to add a little humor to this post if I may. Read no further if you don't like four-letter words!
  To paraphrase David Allen Coe:
  Hey fuck that homophobic!
  Who the hell is he?
  Tellin' all those faggots that they can't be free?
  Throw that bitch in prison
  Maybe then he'll see
  Just how much those god damn homosexuals mean to me!
  Because they.....
  Wash your clothes
  Clean your cell
  Help you drain your hose
  Give you smokes
  Laugh at jokes
  Sew up all your clothes
  Rub your feet
  Beat your meat
  Heaven only knows
  What I'd do without those homosexuals!
  They all
  Read and write
  Fuck all night
  Clean your fingernails
  Help you dress
  Play you chess
  And lay you down some rails
  Be your wife
  Take your life
  In a jealous rage.
  Who says we don't need no homosexuals?
  I tell you
  Some are big
  Some are small
  Some are in between
  Some are yellow bellied queers
  And some of them are mean
  Some are killers
  Some are thieves
  Some are singers, too
  In fact, Mr Homophobe, some act just like you!

  Just had to post that one. No offense intended to Joel or any others.

  mike.

  "Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!