calamityjane,
Yes, I have filled out the paperwork for the OCL. I have to call them today (again) and see if my ex has filled out hers. It's way past the 10 day deadline for her but she'll delay anything she can.
The OCL did a report in 2003 (finished on Nov 10th, 2003) that recommended that Joint Custody was best. When the clinical investigator gave her recommendations my ex flipped, saying that there's no way I deserve to have Joint Custody with her.
The clincal investigator told her that she doesn't have to accept her recommendations, but they carry a lot of weight in the courtroom, since it's what's best for the kids, not us. The clinical investigator added that if the Judge asked her who should have Sole Custody (since we can't agree on Joint - I could, at the time) that she would say that I should get Sole Custody, since I have not tried to turn the kids against her like she has tried to do to them towards me.
In the Settlement Conference on June 22, 2004, the Judge told her flat out, it's going to be Joint Custody. Since then, she has refused to COOPERATE, in JOINTLY looking out for what's best for the kids, in any manner whatsoever. I am very confident that when the OCL finishes their investigation this time they will agree that I should have Sole Custody, since I don't try to manipulate the kids negatively.
As far as helping, for now, if you have any influenece this manner, is it possible for the clinical investigator or lawyer (whoever they appoint this time) to make the process go as fast as possible? I will PM you with the details. I don't want to be accused by her lawyer of "cheating", so that's why all I'm asking for is that the necessary process be sped along, despite her and her lawyer likely realizing that the writing is on the wall, and delaying the inevitable.
Thanks, and if you have any other suggastions, I'm all ears,
Brad
Edited to add: BTW, if I get Sole Custody, my intention is not to prevent my ex from seeing the kids. It is merely to ensure that her involvement with them is in a much more positive environment than it is now. I don't expect her to change overnight (she needs anger management counselling for one thing) but the kids also need to avoid seeing situations like my 7 year-old's hockey incident last night. Every day it is something like that.