Finish This Sentence....You Know you're a JW teenager If....

by doodle-v 149 Replies latest jw friends

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  brutusmaximus

  you can't go to football/soccer pratice as that means spending too much time with worldy people.

  BM
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  mtbatoon

  You know you?ve been a JW teenager when you can?t remember you teenage years because you?ve repressed them and not by the standard means of drink and drugs.
• 

  Es

  hehe these are fantastic, I can relate to many of them.

  "You know you a jw teenager when your not allowed to watch M rated movies (15+) until your like married."
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  seven006

  If you are truly sucsessfull in hiding your real life from your class mates they think you are secretly a drug dealer.

  When you go all four years of high school and your best worldly buddies do not have a clue that you have a step sister in our same class and they have no idea who she is.

  You lie and say sports are only for mindless jocks.

  You never want to get caught with zig zag papers so you roll your joints with pages from your green bible.

  When your mom asks you why you smell like smoke you tell her the bus driver smokes and he makes you sit right behind him.

  When you check out a rural territory for service, drop all your magazines off at the laundry mat and drive to the next town to eat breakfast at Denny's.

  When your class mates are amazed you know where every street in the city is.

  When you finally get to third base with your secret worldly girlfriend and you drive home looking up and the sky thinking a lighting bolt is going to shoot down and kill your ass.

  You force yourself to wake up right before the best part of a good wet dream because it is a sin.

  When you finally let go and finish the wet dream, you have morphed yourself into a chimpanzee in your dream so it would be OK with god and you can blame it on the monkey.

  Damn, now that I think about it, I should have looked to career as a secret agent,... or maybe even a zoo keeper.

  Dave
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  Dan-O

  You know you're a JW teen when you pop the AC/DC tape out of the 8-track player and hide it next to the Jack Daniels bottle under the front seat when you arrive at the congregation picnic.
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  Robdar

  ...you and your sister have to hide that picture of your favorite rock band. You have to hide it particularly well if the band members are wearing tight jeans or show any signs of having a nice man sausage...

  Robyn
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  kaykay_mp

  ...if your mother finally gives in and lets you go to a 1950's-themed school dance but punishes you by making you wear a homemade felt skirt decorated with the "fruits" of the holy spirit.

  It's so sad.

  But so funny. Come on, it can't be true, is it?

  laters

  kaykay_mp
• 

  Soledad

  .....you spend lunch hour in the library preparing for that night's meeting

  .....you are chronically depressed, lethargic and can't find a reason why

  .....the highlight of your summer vacation was the stupid district assembly

  ....you're absent from school most during December

  .....other witness kids start their sentences with "we don't believe in that because...."

  .....those same witness kids walk around with engagement rings instead of class rings during their senior year

  ......you miss homecoming, dances, proms and every other school activity imaginable

  .....you score over 1200 on your practice SAT but never take the real test because what's the point, right?

  .....you can't join the baseball, basketball or track team even though you're a stellar athlete

  .....you dont think too much about what you will do after high school cause "the end is so close.... I may not even see graduation!"

  You're eighteen and have the confidence and maturity of a twelve year old!

  yowzer that described me at 18.
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  MerryMagdalene

  Kay-Kay,

  That whole skirt thing---- sad but true.

  I was so grateful she was letting me go! I helped her cut the fruit shapes out of colored felt and write the actual "fruitages" on them with a marker. She glued them on to the full, swirly circle skirt.

  I excitedly entered the double doors of the gym and was quickly mortified when I realized just how different and out-of-place I was. I spent the whole dance alone in a corner, staring at my shoes, hoping no one would notice me and promising God I would never try to engage in anything that "worldly" again!

  Good Golly, Miss Molly

  --Merry
• 

  GetBusyLiving

  ..you feel guilty for thinking your religion is nuts.