having a hard time making friends (page 3)

Nancy Drake

I have no social skills and people think I'm a weirdo. I have a hard time, too.

Thank you to all of you, I will definately try some of your advice. You all sound so wonderful, I haven't had so much support in the last 10 years. Therefore, I haven't really even begun the healing process, but maybe I can now. It is so true that the reasons why it is hard for us to make friends is because of our upbringing, especially how they shelter and isolate us as young children. Not to mention the way "worldly" people are made out to be. But thanks again, I hope to talk to you much more in the future.

prophecor

Hurry back, Happy Camper, you've brought us out and all a little closer to.

One hand scratches the other 'ya know what I mean?

under74

Man...we are wonderful. LOL.

I understand what you mean about the healing process. I thought I was over it a while back but realized recently I wasn't because of all the hang-ups I have and that's what led me here.

Glad you're here happy camper.

happy camper

Thank you all, you all sound so wonderful. I posted a reply back earlier, but I dont think it worked, so, I hope I dont post this twice. I will definately try some of your suggestions. They are all great. It's so nice to hear from people who understand this. I never really realized how much this has damaged me emotionally, but I'm glad I'm not alone. At least I dont have to think I'm crazy. Thanks for being here.

happy camper

oops, I did post twice

AshtonCA

I am 37 years old, I was one of JW's for 23 of those years from birth up, in 1990, at the age of 23 (still living at home), I was DF'd for having a relationship with an unbeliever ( was caught on the couch with him, I am now married to him). I was raised very isolated and I always thought it was just how strict my parents were, I didn't know it was an org. thing, or I just never put it together. We were home schooled, so we didn't even have a chance to be around other kids. We were not allowed to play with our neighbor's kids, and they would look over our fence in our back yard and watch us play, but we couldn't talk to them, it was shear hell. I felt worse for them than I did us, however. To this day, I have only had 6 close friends, 3 of which were in the "truth". The other 3 were when I left the org.

One was DA'd and we weren't allowed to talk to her. The story on this one is agonizing and I hate that we did it to her. She went with her mom and our family to Disneyland one year with her boyfriend and we did not speak to her the whole time she was there with us, we ignored her the whole trip. Later on, the org. turned around and had changed their policy on DA'd persons who were not baptized, and they no longer DA'd someone who was not baptized, but by then it was too late, the damage was already done. I grew up with this girl and she was like a sister to me, and to this day, I am saddend and angry over what we did to her.

I find it very difficult to make friends and keep them. I don't go anywhere or try to make new friends; however I want to, I have an urge to, but I don't know how. I am still leary of anyone, and if they don't fit a certain mold, I will reject them.

We are choosing not to raise our sons in this manner. My oldest, 11, is probably the most popular kid in our complex. He has both male and female friends and he is allowed to go to their houses to play. We are choosy whom we allow him to have as friends, however. He has let go of a few friends who were just into bad stuff, and even he said he didn't like being around them because of their choices in how they acted. He doesnt' swear, and if his friends do, he will tell them that it's not right to swear, and so far, they actually listen to him! If they are doing something that he knows is wrong, he will flat out tell them that it's wrong and he will walk away and not join in. They look toward him for guidance, which is surprising! Usually, these types of kids will pick on someone like our son, but they don't they actually act better when he's around! We have been told by our managers in our complex that our son is a joy to have and they wished that all kids were like he is, that he never acts up like they do and he is respectful and we are very proud of him. Can't you tell? lol.

I can't do to him what was done to me, so we allow him to make friends. He is homeschooled, however, for now. But, eventually he will go to high school. Our youngest will not be homeschooled, I don't think. He's only 4 months old, so I have time to decide if I can do it again. Homeschooling has not been easy for me, I'm not as smart as my mom who was able to put 4 children through 17 years of homeschooling. My 3 brothers all graduated high school by the age of 16, and were in college by then as well, I on the other hand, was not so lucky, I struggled with school due to ADD and learning DA's. My son's in the 4th grade and I am already struggling lol.

okay, this is long enough, sorry.

Ash

AshtonCA

Yes, me too. our family moved around a lot growing up. My mom was sick and we were always trying to find a place she could live in (asthma). Actually, her asthma is now pretty much gone and she still moves around a lot. She has never stayed for longer than 7 years in one place. She has been in L.A. for the last 6 years now and she is now moving to TX.

We lived in FL (where I was born), NV, AZ, CA, and OR. We never lived more than 7 years in any one of those, except CA where I am back to now and have been here since 1993.

I dont' know what it is about my mom and her inability to make roots and stay in one place. I feel so bad for my dad! They have no retirement money because of this moving around and job changing. I just shake my head everytime I get a call about their "next adventure".

Ash

under74

Hi there AshtonCA, welcome to the forum.

I was homeschooled for a time...didn't work out so well in the short term, however in the long term (after we left the JWs) I graduated from college.
BUT I'm glad to hear you're open to your kids attending school sooner or later.

Good to see you on the forum and I hope to see you around more.

frenchbabyface

Hi everyone : it's sad of course but viva internet !!! (not too much though)

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having a hard time making friends

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