Thanx everyone for responding, I'll try to remember those points and I'll look back here from time to time so I can be reminded.
And it all looks so good from the inside, and it feels so real, the ghost keep chasing me from time to time, however, I'm not where I want to be, keeping a waiting attitude on my healing, but I've believed in these things for so long, that it's become a part of my lifestyle, even though I've been invisible for ten years.
I realize too however, that I've only been released from the mental and emotional prison for a little over a year now and it takes time, I only wish it would hurry up. I've got to get busy living again.
I'd hate to die, still being a hostage of my own heart.