by lonelysheep 40 Replies latest jw friends
Looking back, now that my oldest is reaching adulthood I wonder, what if I heeded the warning? At nearly 40, would I now be kicking myself?
If you didn't have children you'd most likely be kicking yourself. And the kicking gets harder with each year that passes.
Walter
I got married in 1975 at 18 years old. Although the big A was some influence in my decision, I decided I did not want to have children for 5 years since I did marry young. So I went on the pill. I wanted any children I brought into this world to have a house and good parental guidance AND better than a janitor's income. (I married a janitor who later became an electrician).
Well, 5 years into the marriage, we were both out of JWdom, and our relationship was soooo bad that there was no way I was going to bring a child into that! (Both of us alcoholics and him very violent) My husband kept nagging me that if I had a baby everything would be all right. Ha! I no way in hell was going to believe that lie.
Edited to add: As it was I tried to commit suicide by russian roulette because I didn't "believe" in divorce (after considering homocide). If I had children, staying with him would have killed me.
At 7 years I finally had the courage to divorce him.
I had my tubes tied at 30 because I was unmarried and on a career path in the software industry. I couldn't see myself having children in those next 5 years, and since I was raised by an older couple that were more like grandparents, I did not want to be raising a baby in my 40's.
Have I regretted it? Yes. I have mourned not having children. I also believe it is the best thing I never did! I've had so much karma to work on in this life that having children would have detracted from my necessary journey and enlightenment.
((((Walter))))
They both work full-time, she takes college courses at her job on non-meeting nights, and she pioneers all weekend, every weekend. They take vacation just to pioneer. I feel like she will regret this one day and I'd hate to see her go through that, yet that's the road they're on. They are gung-ho jw's and have no intention of leaving, only doing more.
But everytime she sees my kids, she says she wants one.
Remember Adam was a kid born into a "new system", didn't do him much good.
Kids are kids... poop will stink just as much in a paradise as it does now. They still have freewill. It just slays me how the Dubs are always looking for the easy out. What a bunch of slackers.
u/d
Well both my parents said they were not going to have kids "in this system"! However with in 9 years and 6 kids later yeah like that happened. And as for me I thought maybe I should wait to have kids and thank god I didn't. I love them. Plus I got pregnant on birth control! Ha 97%? It was like the show "Friends" They should say that on the box!
Brooke
Though kids are a lot of work, they bring so much joy too.
I feel for all the witnesses, who did give up having kids for the sake of the organization. So sad.
In no way would i say kids make life easier or even, sometimes feel like a blessing. Little swines sometimes in my opinion. But they are part of the university of life and teach you more than any Bible or WTBTS publication ever can.
We knew many, many JWs who chose not to have children and pursue the 'Kingdum Interests'. They are in their last hours of their biological clocks ticking and I see people very old before their time and wonder about the regrets they will have in a few years time. Wheras we have years and years of sometimes difficult but often fun and happy memories and I feel for them, for the great sadness and regrets they will be suffering.
One particular sister, who pioneered auxillary, for the last twenty years, seemed to know more about Calpol, a childrens pain killer, than I do and that started me of thinking of her and how she might secretly be feeling.
The WTBTS steals peoples lives but it also steals their futures, their hopes and their lovely memories they could have had!
I knew several couples who did that... although there were several babies being born too. It did seem though that the people having kids were considered "spritually weak" because it was like they didn't believe or have faith that Jehovah would provide them with children in the "new system"
People used to talk about Job and how God gave him children all over again and how in the "new system" everyone would be sooo happy and be able to have kids, etc.
I never bought into it, never had kids, but then again I just got married and just turned 30, so I have plenty of time.
In no way would i say kids make life easier or even, sometimes feel like a blessing. Little swines sometimes in my opinion.
Gill,
Do you have children? By that statement it does not seem like it. Children are hard yes I know that. I have 2 kids 1 who is turning 3 on the 12th of this month and the other who just turned 1 both still not sleeping full nights. I have not slept in 3 years nor have I eaten a full meal with out being bothered and not to mention 1 60 hour labor and one 15 hour labor. I know it is very hard rasing kids and dealing with them. But a blessing they are. They teach you more than you will ever know. They teach you Love and what it is and how to give it. In life you don't learn what love is until you have a child "in my opinion". You may fall in love with someone or think you have fallen in love. However after a long labor and a tiny child has been taken out of your body placed against you and you look in thier eyes for the first time and feel every emotion possible but most of all love for that tiny baby. I think Children make the world a Loving place to live in.
Brooke
Hi Whyamihere!
Hope you're oK. Yes I have children including a set of twins. I have five children in all. I know how TERRIBLE it is not to sleep properly for months and years at a time. i know you are struggling with your children and that's just normal. I promise you, one day you'll sit back like me and laugh at those days you carried on just dead on your feet wondering what the point is any more. I promise you that day will come. It all gets better and easier. I still think they're little swines at time though. The thing is you love them so much that they seem to suck all the life juice out of you!!!!
Hang on in there. The getting better bit, really is a promise. You're at the worse stage with yours.
My advice though, don't have any more than another one, and only if you want to. The work is very hard with one child. Ten times harder with two and by the time you get to three....
Can you imagine how much washing and ironing I have to do? My house is like a chinese laundry!
Hang on in there whyamihere! It will all be allright! I promise! Just do what you can and what you need to and what doesn't get done....there's always tomorrow. Make time for fun with the little tikes. It goes so fast!
