Toilets are Unbiblical

by JanH 17 Replies latest social humour

  • JanH
    JanH

    It's about time to put an end to the UnBiblical and perverted practice of making water closets and other forms of toilets. This ungodly practice is clearly prohibited in God's Word the Bible:

    Deuteronomy 23: 12-14 "Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourself. As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement. For the LORD your God moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you. Your camp must be holy, so that he will not see among you anything indecent and turn away from you."

    No doubt all the ills of our society, like liberals, gays, evolution and atheism are part of God's curse over us for the detestable practice of having toilets! God will surely punish us if we do not outlaw and stop this hideous practice.

    - Jan
    --
    Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. [Ambrose Bierce, The DevilĀ“s Dictionary, 1911]

  • Julie
    Julie

    *LOL* Jan--

    Thank you for possibly saving us all from shitting our way into Hell.

    Good one wise-ass--
    Julie

  • ianao
    ianao

    ROTFLMAO.

  • peaceloveharmony
    peaceloveharmony

    jan,

    hahhaha...thanks for the laugh! i needed it today

    love
    harmony, searching for her shovel so i can shit properly

    "If God has spoken, why is the world not convinced?"
    ..........Percy Bysshe Shelley, English poet (1792-1822)

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    Hi JanH: You made a humorous point. Of course, just as the Jews built extensions to houses so they could avoid breaking Sabbath by traveling to see a relative or neighbor, likewise, today we have pre-dug holes called sewer fill where the dung is carried by extension using pipes to a treatment plant, and then the finaly treated product is buried. But, when out camping, I have literally used a shovel and dug a hole and buried the poop.

    However, the old Law was out of operation before Mr. Crapper invented the modern toilet. So, that part of the Bible no longer applies, at least not to Gentile Christians who do not need to submit to the old Law. - Amazing

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    Jan,

    You are too funny! I had no idea I was such a sinner! :D

    Billygoat

  • mommy
    mommy

    Come on!
    You guys are telling me you ALL have inside toilets? ME thinks to many are dreaming again My outhouse works just fine for me, and for Christmas I even got a new shovel Harmony I will bring it camping...lol
    wendy

    In a controversy the instant we feel anger, we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves.

  • peaceloveharmony
    peaceloveharmony

    wendy, well thank GOD you've got a shovel! LOL, otherwise we might be sent to hell right then and there for our evil ways

    love
    harmony

    "If God has spoken, why is the world not convinced?"
    ..........Percy Bysshe Shelley, English poet (1792-1822)

  • dedalus
    dedalus

    I just received my latest Awake!, in which I was pleased to find the Young People Ask article, "Flushing -- How Can I Fight the Urge?" The article wisely points out that, "while flushing is considered 'harmless fun' by many youths, true Christians want to ask themselves: 'What are my motives? Is it wise to eliminate unwanted excrement with metal pipes and porcelain handles? What would Jesus do?'"

    Thankfully, JanH, the Organization has seen fit to address this serious matter in due course. How happy we are to benefit from such spiritual food at the plopper time!

    Dedalus

  • rem
    rem

    Dedalus,

    You actually read the articles? I thought us apostates were supposed to use the magazines for, uh, cleanup.

    rem

    "Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so."
    ..........Bertrand Russell

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