by Vivamus 27 Replies latest jw friends
Deprogramming from the JWs was a painful process for most of us. But now, how do you view your deconversion - as grief or as enlightenment? Is the end result a sore spot or a gem?
I can't think of anything worse than going through life never knowing the real truth about the JW fantasy.... Actually, I can think of lots of worse things, but that's doesn't sound very dramatic.
Runningman. In the past three years I have practically lost everyone in my life except my mum. I am young, resiliant and have a lifetime before me where I can live in freedom. I have no regrets about leaving.
But what if I was now not 26 and in this situation. But 73. An honest person, who had a crisis of concience and left. Freedom lays ahead, yes, but also the loss of his children, his faith, his view of the world.
I just dunno. Situations are so different for everyone. Who are we to decide what is best for a man? Who are we to say, look here now, what you have been working for the past lifetime is a bald lie and in fact you have nothing thats truth in your life. Who are we to force that information upon them?
Viv, when he decides to read all those pages, he wil investigate them - that's in his nature - But I think that he will be able to gave each and everything a turn around...in a way that it still fits his belief. (although I believe he is an honest man) When he sees to much "wrongs" he will stop investigate I think, leaving the organisation would hurt him immensely
But I don't think he choose that way. but he won't be very happy with the letter.
Who are we to decide what is best for a man?
That is precisely my point.
Let him decide if he wants to read it, or if he wants to read and then deny it, or if he wants to read accept and ignore it, or read accept and act on it.
Runningman. In the past three years I have practically lost everyone in my life except my mum. I am young, resiliant and have a lifetime before me where I can live in freedom. I have no regrets about leaving.
But what if I was now not 26 and in this situation. But 73. An honest person, who had a crisis of concience and left. Freedom lays ahead, yes, but also the loss of his children, his faith, his view of the world.
BBG, I was 51 when I found out the truth about the truth. I knew the consequences of leaving as well as the consequences of living and perpetrating a big lie. It took all of 1 minute to make a decision of whether to be loyal to the lie or loyal to God. I don't regret a second of it because I can look in the mirror knowing that no matter what loyalty to God is more important than anything else. Basides, after turning my life over to Jesus I am assured of his promises and will be able to witness the end of an evil empire founded on lies and deceptions. If your elder friend is honest with himself he will make the right decision and you may have gained a friend for eternity.
Hi Nora,
As Satanus comments, he asked for it. If he could genuuinely answer your questions (which he and the WTS can't) then you might indeed be able to be helped. If he gives up, that is also his perogative.
The human mind can either dispel stuff or go into full-on cognitive dissonance. It's much harder for those who are older, however some have the iron will to carry it through. For that reason I think that the "Belmonts" are a stirling example, who should be honoured for their leaving!
I totally agree that the situation is a moral issue, though. In this case I think you did right
Take care, blue bubblegum girl
Also consider the fact that he's been around the block a few times, being an elder in age and an "elder". It's very possible he's heard the gist of your reasons for leaving over and over. If he is loving and kind-hearted as you say, many people have probably confided in him over the years. I'll bet, although your circumstances may be specific to you, that he's heard the general reasons before, has pondered them, and has justified his faith in his mind.
I wouldn't worry that you've might have rocked his faith. Instead be glad that you and he have had polite, open communication despite disagreeing about "the truth".