I would be classified by their terminology as an apostate as well, however, after coming to the realization of the history regarding the WTBTS, I consider myself as having been guilible, mislead and uninformed, taking all that the Society had to say at face value.
It now becomes my responsibility to take a more conscientious look at any and all religious institutions, as I have invested years of pain and an unwholsome dread of God in this one.
I can't imagine myself having made any proper decsions in life while underneath the dreaded cloud of doom the Society instills in its adhereants. Every thought, deed and action, was only made out of guilt or fear, the good, bad and everything in between.
Within and without of the truth. I have been truly rescued from a religious system that breeds guilt fear and suspicion within virtually every breath of ones existence, be you a witness or be you not.