Did you lie before getting married in the KH?

by Samuel Thorsen 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • MerryMagdalene
    MerryMagdalene

    Never got the opportunity...

    My JW bf and I went to my mother and told her we wanted to get married. We were both 22. She panicked and called an elder who came right over. He questioned us a little bit about whether or not we felt we were ready, then told us point blank all the reasons we weren't, including my bf being only recently reinstated and needing time to prove himself (a couple years, in fact).

    A lot of the things he said were extremely disrespectful and hurtful and made me hoppin' mad. I responded that my bf was being treated like a criminal and the elder said "He is a criminal."

    They proceeded to tell us we couldn't marry, no more debate on the matter, and I said "We're not asking your permission, we just wanted your help to get our marriage off to a good start." This was refused to us. So we went to an elder in my bf's congregation and asked if he would study the Family Life book with us and marry us. He too refused because he had been friends with my mother a long time and didn't want to step on anybody's toes.

    So we eloped...

    --Merry

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    Yes we told a fibber there. I was an MS and she a continuous Aux Pio. and didnt want to lose those privleges. We never actually did the dirty but we did commit pornia according to the slave?s definition of it. I'm sorry we lied only because it hurt my wife now of more than 10 years. The lie really bothered her and caused her to lose respect (understandably) for me in the short term, but she?s over it now.

    IPSec

  • jeanniebeanz
    jeanniebeanz

    We had been asked but told them it was none of their business even though we had not done anything. I was really offended and stormed out of the meeting. Don't know what my fiance told them after that, but we were married in the KH.

    Jean

  • Dustin
    Dustin

    I got married in Vegas. I wasn't allowed to get married at the Kingdom Hall. That's what hapens when you were marked for awhile. Besides, I would have had to lie about some stuff.

    Dustin

  • mkr32208
    mkr32208

    Well the way I see it if I took my soon to be wife to MY bed in MY house then according to the biblical tradition we were already married right? Take the girl to your house and then your married? Everything after that is just the formality?

    Of course I figure that if you have to MARRY her afterwards then you've been punished enough!

    My wife and I fooled around but never had sex... I don't remember this question but I would have said yes or no depending on what I thought was the funniest at the time... I think they asked my wife when I wasnt' there... Some of the elders really tried to talk her out of marrying me... Can't think why!

  • duffy
    duffy

    Yes we did.
    Because we did the deed A LOT.
    But we phrased it in such a way so as to make us seem we had "fooled around some a while back, but recognized sex before marriage would hurt our chances foe a successful marriage and so we stopped". I wasn't one of the golden boys in the cong., but I learned to stay under the radar and tell people what they needed to hear. And it worked!

    The only reason we didn't have sex on the night before the wdding, is her mother came down to help her get ready for the big day.

  • tonyend
    tonyend

    Yeah, we lied. We didn't have intercourse but did a lot of things short of that.

  • CoonDawg
    CoonDawg

    I actually was honest. When my first wife and I were dating, things got hot and heavy...and I at least got her out of all her clothes except her panties. We managed to stop short of doing the deed...(too bad, if I'd have sampled the goods, I'd have known that I'd spend the next 8 years making a close relationship with Rosie Palmer...) There was an elderly elder that I happened to work with who was at "the meeting". When they asked us and I admitted (partially) what happened...he wanted to get clear on the issue. He hemmed and hawed for the right thing to say. I finally told him "just be blunt"...to which he asked "Well, were you trying to get into her pants or just grabbing a feel?" LOL

    Hearing this out of the mouth of a seventy something year old elder was pretty funny. I (of course) told him it was just to cop a feel...but I'd have done anything to get them drawers off her. So, we got married in the KH. I was 19 and a virgin on my wedding night. It was her second marriage, so she showed me what little of the ropes she actually knew...wich wasn't much. Thank goodness for my secret porn stash to at least give me some clues.

    Ern

  • XBEHERE
    XBEHERE

    Sunnygal41: "Years later, tho, I convinced my hubby to go with me to the elders and confess....."

    Can I ask.. what was the result. I am just curious since you did say he was just appointed an elder.

  • freedom96
    freedom96

    My ex-wife and I never had the chance to do much. We were never left alone. I remember we needed to go 3 blocks over to get some milk at the store, and her mom made her sister go with us.

    So the most we ever did was what we could get away with in the living room of her moms house, knowing that someone could walk in at any moment.

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