Studying

tattoogrl333

I flat out asked the JW I'm studying with what she would do if someone was disfellowshipped and she was honest and said she wouldn't talk to them since they wouldn't be good examples of Jehovah Witness. then we started talking about appearances and tattoos, and about my pink hair :) and she said it didn't matter. I am enjoying reading and visiting this web site but I am just not seeing the same things you guys have. I'm not sure if some areas are less strict then others. It seems to make sense to me, they believe they are the one religion and all others are false, if you committ to that belief and leave well you made your choice and will be treated accordingly. Although I feel horrible about some of the experience people on this site have had I just can't see the negative aspects others are pointing out. But then part of me feels stupid because I know so many of you experienced the same horrible things. Did you know that JW were so strict before you joined? How long before you realized it wasn't something you wanted to be a part of? I am really trying to see some negative things but I'm having a hard time, and I understand why they don't talk to disfellowshipped members, If you were a part of a vegetarian club and you decided to eat meat, would you expect others to talk to you.
I really hope I have not offended anyone, I am just a little confused reading your posts then going through the studying and hearing the other side. also please excuse my rambling, but I write like a think which right now is a little jumbled.

jayhawk1

You have not offended me. I know your choice is a hard one. Personally, I did not know that they were that strict. However, I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. Have you asked this sister if you got another tatoo if that would make a difference. Last time I checked, they frown on tatoos, if you are a Jehovah's Witness. If you already have one or several, they know there is nothing you can do about them. I am surprised that she did not have a problem with pink hair, but I suggest if you wanted to get baptised as a Jehovah's Witness, insist on keeping the pink hair. If they don't have a problem with that, then they have changed considerably. After all, I wear a beard, and it almost got me disfellowshipped. The circuit overseer stopped that from happening. Keep in touch with us.
Jeremy

NameWithheld

Number one: When they are studying with a 'new' person, that new person is a potential convert to the religion. No matter what they say, THAT is the real reason they are knocking on doors. To convert people to JW religion. So they will gloss over the bad points (rules) until your are more firmly in their grasp.

You don't think the Disfellowshipping is a bad pratice? Wait until ALL your friend and family are JWs and you cross an elder (for ANY reason) and find yourself DF'd. Now you cannot talk to ANYONE of your freinds or family for 6 months to 3 years, depending on how long the local elders decide to 'punish' you. Can you take it? Emotionally? And don't think that you can just go make non-JW freinds while your are DF'd, cause if you do, they will take that as a sign of wordly behaviour and not reinstate (un-disfellowship) you.

Basically once you join the group, you MUST abide by ALL the rules if you want to retain any social structure. For the most part the local elders set the rules - what cloths are ok, hair styles, movies, books, drinking, etc, etc. And if you offend someone with your actions(and you WILL offend someone eventually no matter how careful you are) you may get branded as 'spirtually weak', and even if you are not DF'ed find that no-one will associate with you.

Many of us here were 'born' into the religion and had no choice. And we have for the most part sacrificed 'normal' relationships with childhood freinds and family to get out. If you cannot see the bad in that then please proceed with your study. Just don't be shocked later when the rules start coming down.

Think your pink hair will stay? Think again. Not if you want to 'go in service' or 'give talks', etc. And you WILL be expected to do all those things. I bet you will have to make sure no one can see the tattos either, which are taboo. Or have them removed. If they are telling you that you will not have to do these things, then that is a flat out lie.

Right now you are in the 'love bomb' stage of recruitment, they will love you to death right now. Once the claws are sunk in though that love disappears faster than you can ever believe.

Introspection

Hi Tattoo,

then we started talking about appearances and tattoos, and about my pink hair :) and she said it didn't matter.

This is a half truth if even that. Maybe they mean it doesn't matter that you have pink hair NOW, because you're not a witness and only studying with them. But ask them if there would be any witness, anywhere who actually represents the organization in the preaching work with pink hair. I assure you it doesn't happen.

I understand why they don't talk to disfellowshipped members, If you were a part of a vegetarian club and you decided to eat meat, would you expect others to talk to you.

Tattoo, we're talking about shunning here. Besides, it isn't a matter of personal decision, you're supposed to treat disfellowshipped people as if they don't exist or dead if a few people decided to cut them off.

Do you really think vegetarians who start eating meat would be shunned in this way? I suppose it's possible that there are people who believe in vegetarianism religiously, but what you're talking about is judging someone as a person based on one thing. Suppose that this person finds it hard to eat a balanced diet being vegetarian, animal sources are the best way to absorb certain nutrients. They may not eat hamburgers everyday, but maybe eat a little chicken and fish while keeping in mind ecological impact and humane treatment of the animals. I would imagine even staunch vegetarians would take that into consideration, but this isn't the case with witness beliefs. Rules are rules.

jayhawk1

Please trust what NameWithheld is saying. He/She said it better than I ever could. I wish you luck, but please proceed with caution. It is easier to get out now, than after you are baptised.

JeffT

I became a Witness in 1973, the year I graduated from college. They are very very good at not letting you see the stuff that is being talked about here, until after you are to far in to think straight about it.

I was eventually told in no uncertain terms that I could not have a beard, but this didn't come up right away. I'll bet that at some point you will be told that the pink hair must go.

Don't take what they say at face value. They are dead wrong on their understanding of many parts of the Bible. They have made many wrong predictions in the past.

Here is a test: email me at [email protected] and I'll send you the letter I sent the WTS when I left. It consists almost entirely of quotes from Watcthower publications. Show it to the person you're studying with and see what reaction you get.

LovesDubs

HI Tattoo...its great you are asking questions. Please bear in mind that no jehovahs witness will tell you ANYTHING negative about the organization. They want you to become baptized and they cant accomplish that, which is a notch in their belt as study conductor, if they are truly honest about the reality in the Borg. They also know, that because you are still a study they cant tell you what to do. None of their rules apply to you and therefore if they tell you that YOU can do anything you want to...you can...until, of course, you get baptized and then all bets are off.

Jehovahs Witnesses are trained weekly to win over their studies. To WIN OVER anyone they meet at the door by using what amounts to sales techniques and persuasion.

Keep your guard up...they know they cant be honest with you and yet keep you as a potential convert. RESEARCH!!

NinjaBen

I did not know they were as strict as they are when I joined and I also did not have a choice wether or not to join because I was raised as a witness.

tattoogrl333

the lady I'm studying with has a daughter who is going to get a tattoo. She even pointed out a passage in the bible that says how god does not judge by outward appearances. I guess she could be lying but she knows how I am and why would she want me to join if I wasn't allowed to be me, I would be disfellowshipped within minutes.

When you were a JW and someone was disfellowshipped did you talk to them afterwards???

reagan_oconnor

Heya, Tat girl (I'm in good company, since I've got one myself...)

Please think about this....

If I am a used car salesman trying to sell you a car, I show you what good shape the body is in, the new tires, the low mileage... I play up the good things.

I don't tell you about the cracked head gasket, the transmission problems I had last year, the oil leak, or the gasoline odor if you run the AC on the expressway and do over 65 mph.

When someone is selling you something, they are not always honest and straightforward. I am not suggesting that the JW who is studying with you is a bad person (she's doing what she has been told is right). But if I want to sell you my car, I'm going to tell you anything you want to hear in order to get you to sign on the dotted line.

My parents don't speak to me anymore because I am no longer a JW. They are letting their religious beliefs come between them and their child, their son-in-law, and eventually, our children. Stop and think about how crazy that is! A religion that encourages you to separate from your own family! I'm not a horrible person -- I'm not a thief, an alcoholic, a drug abuser, or a prostitute. What is so evil about me that they refuse to have a relationship with me?

I decided not to be a Witness.

I was born into it, I didn't have a choice.

If I was a vegetarian, and I told you that because you eat meat I can't talk to you... doesn't that sound stupid?

I am the master of my fate/I am the captain of my soul.

Studying

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