Studying

by tattoogrl333 42 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  larc

  Tattoogirl,

  You will notice that there is a great uniformity of opinion here. Several hundred more people who registered to post can tell you the same thing. Basicly, the rules change once you are baptized. Then you will loose your individuality or you will be thrown out and shunned. That is how it works in every Kingdom Hall around the world.

  Disfellowshipping? My sister did not speak to me for 15 years until we had to take care of my very ill mother. Since then, she bends the rules and will to talk to me if I call her. She never calls me.
• 

  drahcir yarrum

  tattoo:

  You will not be allowed to see the bad things until you make a committment to the witnesses, abandon your previous friends and family and become emotionally dependent on your new witness friends. Once you are part of the organization, you will follow orders or you will risk losing all of your emotional support i.e., your new witness family.

  Please do some basic research in "cults" and you will begin to see the process through which you are being led.

  I remember a witness friend of mine once lamenting that he saw the witness "organization" as a multitude of "down and outers". I would, for the most part have to agree.
• 

  joelbear

  Hi Tattoo,

  I suggest you show your tattoos to a representative sample of the witnesses and see how they treat you as a person.

  That still won't tell you anything though. The treatment will change when you are baptized.

  Oh well, some things you can only learn from going through them yourself.

  We or others will be here at the other end.

  hugs

  Joel
• 

  Jeremy Bravo

  Hi Tatoogirl,

  Here's my two cents,

  I, just like you, spent time studying with the witnesses. I never took the step to get baptized because I took the time to investigate why I was getting all sorts of red flags going up in my head. After investigating, I knew it wasn't the religion for me.

  Based on my experiences, here is my number one recomendation: source their quotes. They make a lot of assertions and speculations about a whole range of ideas that are absolutely baseless. Many of their stuff starts with "Many scholars agree..." or "A prominent historian once said..." which works to get a point across to you that cannot be backed up by anyone. Also, if they DO source a quote, it often happens that they misquote the person to make it seem like they are in agreement, but in fact they are opposed. If you wish, ANYONE on this board can direct you to sites dealing with these misrepresentations.

  One area to be especially careful is their 1914 and Times of the End teachings. The organization will go to great lengths to have you believe that 1914 was a special date in the return of Christ. Reasearch this area carefully and be sure that you have VERY GOOD reason to believe what they are teaching you on this issue; don't take their word for it simply because they've been honest to you about other things.

  It may seem as though everyone here is trying to persuade you that the JW's are an Evil Empire. Many here have good reason to belive this, but the one thing you will find here and NOT in the Empire is that we have nothing to hide. PLease feel free to ask any and all questions you may have and we will do our best to answer honestly.

  Jer.

  "When there is freedom from mechanical conditioning, there is simplicity. Life is a relationship to the whole." - Bruce Lee.
• 

  dedalus

  Ok, Maybe the vegetarian example wasn't the best. I stopped drinking once and wasn't cool enough to hang out with my friends, quit drugs, and couldn't even talk to my old buddies.

  In both cases, the relationships you formed centered around unhealthy addictions. Once you got help for your addictions, you no longer had a reason for those relationships. And since your friends no longer had a reason for you, the relationships ended. Either way, this wasn't a form of institutionalized shunning so much as it was a case of moving on.

  And that's what we're talking about here -- institutionalized shunning. You seem smart enough to know the difference.

  Got tattoo's and had friends not want to be seen with me. Left home to college and parents decided not to be a part of my life.

  Not to play the pop psychologist, but I'm beginning to sense that you have issues, a hole in yourself to fill, etc. You've turned to drink and drugs, you've mutilated (decorated -- I don't mean to invoke a pejorative) your body, and you have problems with your parents. Now you seem to be leaning heavily toward joining a cult -- and yes, it is a cult. Something's up with you.

  Maybe I'm just numb to the whole shunning thing. Since everyone seems to shun everyone at some point in time, however this Jw was at least honest in telling me it would happen.

  The reason you're numb to the shunning thing is that you've put yourself in abusive situations with abusive people so many times, it seems normal to you. Healthy, normal relationships do not invariably end with hatred, intolerance, and shunning. The fact that you're considering a religion known for its harsh shunning practices only convinces me further that you've fallen into a rut and need help.

  It seems to hurt more when you don't know.

  This is very sad, but I hope you can at least see that there is a difference between institutionalized shunning, in which people shun you without knowing why they're shunning you, and the personal termination of relationships, which are made by individuals for their own specific reason.

  Good luck, anyway.

  Dedalus
• 

  claudia

  Tatoo wrote:
  "If you were a part of a vegetarian club and you decided to eat meat, would you expect others to talk to you"

  Yes I would expect them to still talk to me, but if they were ordered by the "ring leader" I would think they belong to a vegian cult.
• 

  larc

  Dedalus,

  I thought along the same lines as you have.

  Tatoogirl,

  It sounds like you have had a lot of rejection in your life. It seems like you are willing to accept acceptance followed by rejection in the future. I think you should talk to a counselor about where your life has been and where it is going. Don't let history repeat itself, if history has been unpleasant.
• 

  claudia

  Tattoo, a dear friend of mine was df'd, she then got married, not only did her mother not attend the wedding, she will not even look or hold my friends new baby! her own grand child! Anyway I think its great that you quit drinking and drugs.
• 

  dedalus

  Claudia,

  I believe it! My father has practically said the same thing to me -- not interested in seeing my children either.

  When I was fifteen and told my parents I didn't want to be a Witness anymore, my mother threatened to put me in a foster home.

  When I left home at 17 to get away from Witnesses, I wasn't allowed to see or talk to my three brothers for a year.

  Now that my Mom's left the Organization, one of my brothers will only talk to her once every two months and will only let her see her grandchild once every 6 months, according to a visitation contract he drafted.

  And so on. This is typical. Sure, there are more liberal Witnesses here and there, but they're the exception, not the rule.

  Dedalus
• 

  Introspection

  Tattoo, I'm going to go off topic just a little and point out something that I believe in 100%, and that is you're more likely to find people who support you as a person here than among the witnesses. This comparison isn't intended to say "we're better than them" or anything, but it's obvious that your acceptance to the witnesses is conditional, but that isn't the case here. People who have left have gone in all different directions.

  As for the suggestion that you see a counselor, I'd say that's not a bad idea just because you don't want things to get worse if there are any issues to look at. I believe you can do a little "preventive therapy" so that it doesn't get to the point where things fall apart in your life. In any case, I'm sure I speak for others here when I say that our interest in you is not limited to discouraging and warning you against the witnesses. We don't always talk about witness related issues, and you're certainly welcome regardless of whether you're interested in being a witness or not. No matter what happens, we won't shun you.

  "Knowing others is wisdom. Knowing the self is insight. Mastering others requires force. Mastering the self requires true strength." -Tao Te Ching, Chapter 33