Are you Living or Existing? (page 2)

Satanus

I must be existing.

Ballistic

Good point. I see myself still living in a box, even though i have put a lot of effort into getting out of it.

Btw, aren't you a guy? I noticed the female sign beside your post.

S

I have a bit for you...It is my humble experience, but it is good for me. I was just existing, surviving is how I put it. Day in day out. I had been doing this for extended years. Yes, I kept my house and home etc. Gave to the family and it was a great family (for the children). Then one day I saw an old friend and this person looked so worn. One of the most vivacious people I have ever known and there they sat. There is a party all around and there they sit. So I turn to my friend who was with me and I start to "go left" about how could a person just sit through all of this and just settle for a bit of nothing. It was very disturbing to see.

My girlfriend looked at me as I am griping about giving up and what a sorry lot that was to see such an inspiring person become so very lost. You know the look she gave me... And proceeded to ask if the pot is trying to call the ol' kettle black.

That was X-mas 2003. I cried for a couple of days, and then I got mad. And the world has been a rough trip this last year. I realized that I was miserable because I was allowing it to be so. I stopped taking on everyones bad behavior and giving them the opportunity that is rightfully theirs....that is the opportunity to learn by bumping their a55 on the floor and realizing it hurts. Then I started making myself go do things that I would not normally do. I started getting out and doing things. It was hard to "do for myself" seeing It had been so imbedded in my mind that I was to be a servant and turn the other cheek and all the garbage of JW was so imbedded in my actions. I did not know that I was allowed to have fun.

I started a small business, on top of my regular 40 hour a week job. I started college. I started to wash all of the leachers off me. I justify it as I said above.,,, it is good for them...makes them tough and puts hair on the chest. I changed my situation and joined a charity organization. I am tired when I wake up and tired when I go to bed. I have list as long as both arms of things to do, and I am so happy. I noticed the other night how good it is to recognize when people are trying to make you carry their burden. I am LOVING LIFE. I have no clue what I like to do, but I am figuring it out.

That is kind of why I like this site. Some of the thing that people here post, and others critique help me stay a critical thinker...or start to be one. There are things sometimes that I call Tracers, imbedded in my personality, and I am working to get them out of there. Actually seeing when people are taking advantage and how guilty people try to make you for things that are not your problem is a HUGE gift.

I THINK I'M GONNA LIKE IT HERE...(lIL' ORPHAN ANNIE SINGS)

ballistic

Btw, aren't you a guy? I noticed the female sign beside your post

Yeah, one of the moderators did it, but I decided to leave it as part of my cover!

Golf

Kittie, you brought some interesting points out such as, "...I can't feel emotion towards them..." I agree with you, their lives are so robotic. The one I like is, ""-I will never feel whole." So, what's missing especially from an org. that preaches about love?

Ballistic, let me get this straight, if one leads a purposeful life that's controlled? What's your version of "...least control...?' I could take that to mean your life has meaning when your out of control. Correct my thinking.

Big Dog

Carpe Diem or in english, sieze the day. Thoureau did it for me in college, Walden Pond and that quote, "I want to live deep and suck the marrow from life."

Gumby, just put yourself out there, try to experience things, chase new experiences, knowledge, etc. A wise shrink once told me that if you force yourself to act like you are living, your emotional state will be forced to catch up.

confusedjw

I'm living.

Mostly I'm living for hockey (one game left) and baseball season.

Golf

Sparkplug, great post! You made my day. It is experiences such as yours that I want others to read about.

I've been waiting a long time to cover this topic but I waited. I believe in time, I have made time my friend.

I was hoping to get stories, ideas, suggestions from others on how they have made life fulfilling not just existing.

Gumby, with your imagination, you need to ask questions? Thanks for the kind words.

Guest77

christopherrobin

Golf--------GREAT TOPIC

I, personally look back at my jw lifestyle and marriage--(thinking--'what a waste of life and time--I was truly existing'--not getting any real pleasure out of life).I am glad I was able to get out w/out the major emotional and personal fallout that some have to endure. It is refreshing to hear from so many here that have learned to grow and learn by being self sufficient in terms of running their OWN life and taking accountability for their actions.I truly came alive 6 years ago and have never had deeper friendships, love, and insight.I actually appreciate being a witness for a time---not because of what they are or do, but because at THAT time, at that STAGE, that is what I choose to live by. The fact that I came out of it is secondary. It is hard to learn about life by making bad decisions, but sometimes that is neccesary to grow in a deeper, more intense way. It is great to meet people, regardless of economic or social status, that truly love LIFE, PEOPLE, and actually EMBRACE the challenge that life brings. Man--if I keep rambling, I am going to format my sermon in a 45 min. format for the 2nd half of Sunday -- LOL

Golf

Greetings Christopherrobin, another great post. Hey, I was just getting into your story and you cut me off, please continue.

Guest77

Are you Living or Existing?

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