Are you Living or Existing? (page 3)

jules99

Care to share any experiences.............

I would agree it depends on your situation, and what you mean by living.

My husband Dan always said ?Carpe Dieum? , and he lived it too. He had time for everybody, whatever the situation. He loved reading Thoreau and Emerson.

After Dan died (is it only 5 weeks?) I feel in some ways I have been just existing, because I am not ?whole? without him.

But in another way, I have been really living, for the 1 st time ever. This is because I have been suddenly forced to take life one minute at a time, and not worry about tomorrow. I feel that tomorrow may never come and so I have to love the people who are around me as much as I can because who knows?.it might be the last chance I get. And I notice every little thing around me that I didn?t take enough time to see before, like the snowdrops coming out in my garden this morning. So whilst it is very painful, it is certainly ?living?.

6 weeks ago I was struggling to complete a post-grad teacher-training course which I absolutely hated, determined to get through it just to further my career, to ?achieve? stuff (story of my life). My friends thought I must be living ? ?there she goes, doing something different yet again????. But I was existing. Now I realise all that career crap?s not important.

When I get through this grief I?m going to do what Dan always did ? concentrate on caring for the people I love and let the rest take care of itself. I just wish I hadn?t had to lose him to make me realise he was right.

Jules

Dawn

Great topic.

I think the difference between Living or Existing is whether you have a purpose in life or not.

I know this lady at work who spends every night on the internet - from the time she gets home until she goes to bed, all she does is chat in rooms or play games on the computer. She's wasting her life away in one little room and has no real life friends.

Life is a gift - like a beautiful crystal pitcher. Some people put it up in a closet and only get it out for special occasions (or never). Others decide it's just too great not to use - so they set it on their kitchen counter and use it every day. I used to be the type to put it away in the closet, but over the years I've become one of those that use the pitcher every day.

Life is best lived "in the moment". For example, when I cook dinner for my family I can just "exist" and cook dinner because it's a task I have to accomplish all the while waiting for the weekend, or a vacation, or something to come in the future - just rushing through the task to get dinner over with. Or - I can enjoy the "moment"- put on music, pour a glass of wine, dance around the kitchen while I cook, visit with my hubby and catch up on the day. I can choose to live that moment of time - to make it a memory rather than a task.

My grandmother was a very independent and great lady. She had a stroke and spent the last 2 years of her life in a nursing home, she could not get out of bed without help and needed constant care. When I visited her one day I realized that she would have given ANYTHING to be able to cook dinner for her family again, to even do just the simplest of chores, to be home again and free. That day I made the choice to live life "in the moment" and not constantly pinning for some future event. Even the simplest of life moments are special - a hug from one of my kids, eating dinner together, going for a bike ride, even vaccuming the house - because that's what life is, millions of moments all strung together - and they can be either "lived in" or "existed in".

So - back to my first statement " the difference between Living or Existing is whether you have a purpose in life or not" - it's true. I have a purpose now - it's to really relish life itself, my health, my freedom, my family, to do all that I can while I can whether it's simple household chores, or learning a new fun activity. I choose now to spend time with family and friends, and I vowed to learn one new thing every year (ie: sucba diving, jazz dancing, etc) .Life is what you make it - and the more you make of it the better it is enjoyed - like the crystal pitcher that's used every day.

Golf

Thanks Jules99, sorry to hear about your loss. My wife and I are getting along in years and I too have to be realistic, what would I do in the event she passes away. Being married for 42 years and knowing each other since childhood it can cause a huge emptiness if something happens to her. Yes, I have my children and grandchildren but its not the same. They have their own lives to contend with.

Amazing how we take things for granted. My wife and I spend time together, we talk and watch movies together like two young love birds. I make sure I notice life around me. I'm in awe with life. There is so much to be in awe about, however, we're distracted by the pleasures of life and personal pursuits. I'm not against such things its just needs to be in 'balance.'

You say, "Now I realize all that career crap's not important." So true, so true.

You summed up your experience by saying, "When I get through this grief I'm going to do what Dan (also my name) always did - concentrate on caring for the people I love and let the rest take care of itself. I just wish I hadn't had to lose him to make me realise he was right."

It took a lot emotional courage to share your story, thank you. Once again, my deepest condolences.

Guest77

Golf

Dawn, that was beautifully said! I hope others get to read it and reflect on it. Many thanks

Guest77

prophecor

After awakening from the lull of sleep of the WTBTS, I've come to appreciate just how unconscious I was for the years of having been in and around the truth.

Though technically, in a state of mental, spiritual and emotional suspended animation during the days of associating with the Organisation, I now have the opportunity to go on the attack for life, to be able to tear into it, savoring it for what it is, painfully difficult to get thru, but oh such a pleasure to experience when not imprisoned by the hellish limitations that the Society has placed upon its members for generations.

The concentration camp mentality no longer keeps me held hostage as a prisoner of my own mind. I'm not affraid to feel. I can get angry, and still be OK, I can cry, and no longer feel lost when doing it. I can see my life, and the lives of others come to a point where they blend and take on an energy greater than ourselves, a comforting energy that's protective, nurturing and patient, loving and kind because it recognizes that we are first mortal, human, with failings, faults and shortcomings. Though we will be held responsible for our thoughts, deeds and actions during this walk, I have the faith that allows me to walk thru this world, no longer as a fearful tepid spectator in the games of life, but as an active participant.

Am I living or just existing? Surely, I would have to say living, existing would have me not trying to make a difference in my life, or the lives of others, especially many of you who I've been given the blessed privilege of coming to know. Life is not here at the expense of having to assure our happiness, there are difficult days and hours associated with being on this planet, but to walk thru the fire of trial and tribulation, regardless, and the courage that's required to go thru it, when coming out on the opposite side and having lived thru it, the victory......that's the sweetness!!!

Love Always: Arthur

Golf

Prophecor, its almost like one hellish nightmare doesn't it? Unconscious is a good analogy. Interesting reading.

Guest77

mama

I used to just exist, when i was a witness, now I live. I enjoy everyday, I get so excited at the holidays, like a little kid because for me its like I have gotten a new life. I am trying hard to develop new friendships but that part is hard, I am lucky in my opinion to have one true friend cause when I was a witness I don't think I knew what that was. I used to be jealous of ppl at school who were friends from childhood because all the witness kids I knew weren't very loyal friends. But now, I am not jealous, I am grateful that I finally woke up and have the chance to make deep friendships and that my kids are developing such friendships. For me I think the key to living instead of existing came with the realization that its ok to enjoy life here and now instead of existing for some promised perfect future. Most witnesses I knew and still know aren't happy ppl. They are just anxiously pasting the time until the "paradise" being completely unfufilled in the meantime. I cannot count the many times I have heard a witness say (probably said it myself, in the past), sigh " i can't wait till the new system". I thinking that is existing not living.

Golf

Yeah mama, the witnesses are just existing. Their out of touch with reality. My eldest sister is one emotional mess, terrible.

I'm glad to hear that you made your way out of a bad situation. Thanks for posting. Good health to all.

Guest77

freedom96

It is very easy to get into a rut in this day and age. With so much going on, and not enough time to do the things we want too.

fairchild

Having worked as a travelling juggler/magician, I used to live life to the fullest. I have seen more than half of the globe. Never wasted a minute. Some days I'd wake up without knowing in what country I would put my head to rest that night. Life was just one huge pile of adventure, each day held a different journey. My life changed through a quite unfortunate event in the autumn of 1994. Since that time I have existed, not lived. What keeps me going is the knowledge that I have done more in the earlier years of my life than most people will do in the embrace of an entire lifetime. Just recently I realized how much I have distanced myself emotionally from 'life', some people would seek relief in alcohol of drugs, but since I do neither, keeping an emotional distance from things is my own way of keeping myself sane under the circumstances. I exist, and I hope that some day I will live again, but things are not looking up. Yet, miracles do happen.

Are you Living or Existing?

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