Did You Feel Being Disfellowshipped Or Reproved Was Justified???

minimus

At the time you got "disciplined", did you feel you "deserved" it?? What about now?????

tata

I'm still think was not justified, but what do I know, they are the "messengers of God"...

Yeah right!

I have never been in that situation myself.

However, I do not know of a single case where a df'ed or da'ed person thought it was justified.

The problem with the JW judicial system is that they can only focus on the law and never ask themselves 'why?'.

In my congregation, there was a sister married to the most dark, depressive (I must add not violent or abusive though) brother who served as a MS. In my opinion this is the sort of guy no one could live with. So this sister goes off with someone else. The body of elders then has no choice but disfellowship her. Was it justified? I got to the point where I could no longer go along with such lunacy.

Eyeslice

kwintestal

No, not ever, however I had to play the part to be reinstated. I wouldn't jump through those hoops now though.

Kwin

SMURF

When I was disfellowshipped, I felt it was justified, in fact I told on myself 3 different times. I was really looking for help, I had an addiction problem. It wasn't a spiritual problem, there was no question as to my love for God to me, but the brothers did not understand nor did I at the time. They were intent on disciplining me for disobedience and telling me to stop sinning by reading the bible, WT, Awake and going out in service. I felt the decision was justified because I expected it, also because they trained me to expect it, they made me think I had a disobedience problem and also lack of love and respect for the cong & God. I knew deep down that I didn't have those issues. So after the disfellowshipping, I started to try to figure out why I was doing the things I was doing. It was simple, I had an addictive personality, and that was the source of disobedience, not lack of love & respect for the cong & God. I was really hurt because I had given the organization so much of my time and energy and I was faithful, and the moment I admit that I have a serious weakness that I don't know how to deal with, they casted me out like a devil. I was only 18 years old at the time, but I viewed JW's like my mother and father, because my real mother and father neglected and abused me.

I still blamed myself for a year or so after, and I didn't even start researching "Apostate site's" until about a year and a half afterwards. I started researching these "sites" because deep down in my heart I knew I wasn't wrong, I was sick and needed real help. I only blamed myself because they taught me to blame myself, after researching the "sites" I started to realize that for all the energy I put into the organization, they owe me as my brothers help with my addiction without judging. They did neither. I was left on the streets with nobody to help me, no family or friends and had to overcome my addictive personality on my own.

I now know what love really is and what it means to be a friend and to really want to help somebody you care about. JW's never really wanted to help me, they want to use my energy's, talent's, and time to fulfill their organizational goals, the moment they felt I was to weak or unavailable to them, they got rid of me. I lost some people I care about including my closest friends and family members.

I definitely don't think that the disfellowshipping was justified now.

lonelysheep

Welcome, Smurf!

wednesday

At the time you got "disciplined", did you feel you "deserved"

I have been told that if u are DF it is not discipline. Discipline is if God still cares about u. Being DF means God has washed his hands of u, and u are just being removed to keep the congregation clean. It is not discipline. Reproof counts as discipline, per the elders. God still cares enough about to discipline u. That is what they told me . Weds

under74

Welcome to the forum SMURF and thanks for sharing.

boydarwin

After I was DF'd, I was very upset as I thought it wasn't fair. There were alot of weird circumstances around mine that I will not go into at this point.

My father, a very prominent elder at the time, in an effort to try explain and perhaps put my mind at ease, filled me in on what I considered to be a shocking little elder secret that runs rampant within the elders when it comes to "judicial" matters.

He told me that in most cases, despite the wide spread elder B.S. about the spirit directing these matters, the elders will choose to DF if the case is public or tricky or if there is any risk that the JW public would be concerned about the case. The reason and I quote "The elders can't loose if they make the choice to DF because it gives them a guarantee of being right".

There reasoning: If the person never comes back, or makes no attempt to come back they were right in that they removed a bad seed from within there ranks. If the person makes the effort, repents and comes back, the corrective discipline administered was just, loving and helped turn the person around.

I find that disgusting. I was reinstated, so they must have done the right thing. That way I could fade away on my own.

Jez

At the time, I went and confessed to the elders. It was not out of guilt, it was out of a false sense that they would support me in my desire to become "spiritual" again and err on the side of mercy. Boy was I wrong. I feel like I lost my father as I was very close to these elders. They knew the most intimate things of my life that no one knew for 14 years (that my ex was a very abusive man). We all had so many meetings over my ex, he was jailed, but I kept following their advice to stay, we had meeting after meeting after meeting........SO the final time that he breached his conditions (we were obviously seperated by this point) and they again told me to wait, give him time to change etc. It hit me. They don't care about ME. They did not even care if I was killed by him, as long as I did not "bring reproach on Jehovah's name."

So I quietly left them (the elders) and when love finally found it's way to me, they came a'knockin again. This time, happily, to wash their hands of me. So, with ex getting only a public reproof for 14 years of abuse, I got df'ed for finally having the strength to get out of the relationship and remarrying. Oh, he also got a free ticket to remarry, which he used.

NO, my df'ing was not justified. They looked at the action (F***ing another man) and none of the emotions attached, history, what is right and good, who deserved what. NOTHING. Jesus condemned those that were so black and white, Jesus sought out those grey areas and showed love and compassion when faced with them.

Jez