Did You Feel Being Disfellowshipped Or Reproved Was Justified???

by minimus 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  Brummie

  I was privately reproved for reading apostate literature, at the time I thought they were going to disfellowship me and it made me sick to the pit of my stomach. I literally shook with nerves all the way to JC, I couldnt cope with the thought of being "outside" the WT and in the evil world! When they privately reproved me, I cried all the way home"! Yep they sure know how to make a grown man cry!

  Gosh couldnt they see the mental despair they inflict on people! I was thankful at the time that they didnt disF me, I look back now and think "who TF did they think they were" I took pride a couple of years later when I told them to fuck off!

  Brummie
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  adelmaal

  I was disfellowshipped for dating while I was still "legally" married (divorce had not yet finalized because the 6 month waiting period in CA was not yet past). Disfellowshipped for "dating" (we weren't having sex). I was "scripturally free" but I still got disfellowshipped because I was married in God's eyes and I was not respecting that arrangement by dating.

  Give me a break!

  Funny though how I eventually jumped through all the hoops to get reinstated after my husband (the man I had started dating prior to the finalization of my divorce) abandoned me when I was 7 mos. pregnant with his child -- how's that for karma. I thought I needed "the truth" and that my life was so messed up because I wasn't in it. Little did I realize my life was messed up because I had been in it. Married too young (21), because we wanted to have sex and we didn't want to "mess up", had a baby and eventually divorced, rebounded and ended up disfellowshipped.

  I find it interesting that some of the other posts are like mine where we got disfellowshipped, grovelled to get back and then eventually faded away on our own.
• 

  SMURF

  Thanks for the welcom lonelysheep and under74, it feels good to finally post. I look forward to participating more in the forum.
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  MerryMagdalene

  Here's another welcome, SMURF. Your story makes me so angry, so outraged with this organization. They have hurt so many good people. Glad that you are back on your feet and recovering just fine, no thanks to Them. Look forward to getting to know you.

  Much love

  ~Merry

  And yes, I suppose my DFing was "technically" justified, but piss-poor timing and no consideration for anything other than the rules on their part.
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  Odrade

  At the time I felt it was justified, but the more I hear about how other churches and organizations operate, the more I realize that they whole entire system is ridiculously set up. There is no justification even for a judicial committee. Imagine, a tribunal, or kangaroo court as many here call it, mainly to determine, NOT extenuating circumstances, or how you might be assisted, but largely to determine how harsh your punishment might be.

  ridiculous.

  unjustifiable.

  O

  **meaning that many other churches offer counselling services in lieu of browbeatings.
• 

  Robert K Stock

  The first time I was disfellowshipped in 1981 I thought it was completely unjustified. It was only for a few minutes. The Elders recommended I be disfellowhipped but when they met with me they thought I was repentent so re-instated me on the spot with the Congregation never knowing. The Elders said that I was the first person they ever met who was arrogant and humble at the same time.

  The second time in 1988. It was justified. 10 years before Bill Clinton was impeached, I was disfellowshipped for lying about having sex. I could have told the President that the cover up is always worse then the act.

  I intended to get re-instated a second time but in a few months I read Crisis of Conscience and began my path to freedom from the Watchtower.
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  minimus

  As a former elder, my experience has been that some feel horrible and believe they are bad persons. Others believe what they did was a df'ing offense but they usually believe they shouldn't get df'd. private reproof---maybe. And others feel that no matter what they're accused of, they are not guilty.......Looking back, I can say, how badly I feel about all the people that had to "confess" their sins to me. I'm no better than the guy living across the street!
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  SMURF

  Hey MaryMagdalene,

  I like your passion for justice, I am still angry at times when I think about the good things I could have done and experienced. Fortunately, I am on level ground with new visions for my life that are not limited by cielings built by the Watchtower Society or any other human, God, or organization. I envision myself accomplishing great realistic things.

  It's truly their lost, We all have so much to offer.

  Thanks for the welcome once again!

  Smurf
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  minimus

  SMURF-----Did you ever run thru a Kingdom Hall with other smurfs??
• 

  lilybird

  Welcome Smurf, I was not DF'd , I chose to tell the elders I no longer wanted to be associated with or considered one of Jehovah's Witnesses. The elders are not trained to deal with someone with substance or alcohol addiction. They simply want to rid themselves of any problems and covering it by calling it "keeping Jehovah's congregation clean" I know because I had my own dealings with them when they wanted to DF my mother because she suffered from mental illness. You sound like you have figured out yourself and know what you want out of life. The elders did you a favour. They gave you your life back. I have never regretted leaving and my kids are thankful that I didn't raise them in a life of JW drudgery. I agree with what Odrade said, They are like a ridiculous kangaroo court.