My husband is a devout JW. He's also such an excellent person, and I love him very much.
For him and other close JW relatives I'm willing to live this awful double life, a closet non-JW of sorts.
DY - Member of the "It Could Be Worse" group.
Wanting to leave JWs & Spouse problems
by doinmypart 25 Replies latest jw friends
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NewYork44M
My story is similar to 95Storm. In over 10 years I have not yet been able to convince my wife that my leaving the organization is anything other than a rebelion against god. After years of just taking it, several months ago I had enough. She had invited an elder to come over to talk to me and because I was trying to be the "nice guy" I talked to him. After several hours I was ready to have a nervous breakdown. In the strongest language possible I told my wife that I will never go to another meeting, and if she does not want to see me in a mental institution she will never speak my name to an elder again. I have had f******g enough!
So, we are at a very uncomfortable truce. But at least I don't get the guilt trip for not joining her in her worship. And, no one has come to "encourage" me.
I know this is not the happy ending you are probably hoping for. At least we don't argue about religion any more but have found many other things to argue about....
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Golf
DY, your in the best position to know what's best. I respect your choice, no problem here. The best.
Guest77 -
95stormfront
She had invited an elder to come over to talk to me and because I was trying to be the "nice guy" I talked to him. After several hours I was ready to have a nervous breakdown. In the strongest language possible I told my wife that I will never go to another meeting, and if she does not want to see me in a mental institution she will never speak my name to an elder again. I have had f******g enough!
My wife swears up and down that she never did\does that, but, every now and then, a couple of elders would stop by and talk to me, asking if there was anything they could do to help me get back to meetings. The very last time was during their inactive roundup from last year.
I remember my last encounter with them well.
I knew from experience that once they start talking, just like my wife used to be with me, they just won't let up until you agree to whatever it is they think you should be doing. And like you NY44M, I'd already had f****** enough. No more abuse was I willing to take. I chose to be proactive and push before they'd even get a chance.
After the brief pleasantries were exchanged, I looked them both squarely in the eyes and told them point blank, respectfully, that I was happy with the way my life was progressing, that any interference from them in the form of shepherding was neither required nor expected, that I wished to be left alone, and that should I have need of them or the organization in the future that I knew where to find them.
Haven't seen them since.
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LittleToe
...every now and then, a couple of elders would stop by and talk to me, asking if there was anything they could do to help me get back to meetings. The very last time was during their inactive roundup from last year.
Oh what I wouldn't give for such a counter-witnessing opportunity!!!
Yesterday I nipped home at lunchtime and saw they were in the area. They skipped my door, so now I know for sure that I'm on a DNC list - LOL.
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Tigerman
Good job 95 . . .and, if they come back, you can always just look at them, shrug your shoulders and say, " Thanks, but no thanks."