I need your guys thoughts & opinions (page 2)

adelmaal

I know what you mean. Usually when I get a feeling about someone and I just have a sense they are not on the up and up or they are manipulative or they are passive aggressive or they are narcissistic I am not able to pinpoint it at first. After being around them for awhile I will see it more clearly though and it usually takes awhile before they finally show their true colors to everyone else.

Personally, if I were in your shoes I think I might let my son know I have reservations about her, I am only telling him this because I want him to be happy and I will support him in whatever decision he makes. Reason being is in the past I have ended up looking like an ass in the beginning for writing someone off without them having shown their true colors to everyone else. She will eventually show her true colors and you can be there for your son when she does. Sit back and observe. Your son will need to see for himself how she is. Encourage him to take his time and really get to see how she is in group settings and with family. Be willing to support him because he is going to do what he wants anyways and you don't want him not coming to you with problems for fear you will tell him "I told you so".

Just a side note: Some of my closest friends and some of my worst enemies have been the ones I initially hated on gut instinct. So who knows, maybe you two will be thick as thieves eventually.

Seeking Knowledge

Hi KLS

What a predicament....I've always learned to trust my gut on things, even tho I don't always listen to it until its too late. I would probably just take a step back in this one & observe. Perhaps what is bugging you about this girl will show itself to you in time. Unless she's got horns & a tail (possible?) just learn to smile & nod your head until you figure out what it is.

Good luck!

SK

freedom96

First impressions count, regardless of how or why.

Some of the "new age" people believe that everyone produces physical vibes, and the body can tell these, even if we are not quite as aware.

NewLight2

I can identify with that feeling. For me, it is something about that person's basic personality that clashes with mine. I have even been known to admit that: 'I have no REAL reason that I do not like the person, but yet I can't 'stand' that person around me.' Even the way they move makes me cringe!

Since we are all different, I would try to figure out if it is just a personality clash or if you have some real reason to feel this way about her.

NewLight2

Kenneson

I read somewhere that sometimes we dislike people because we see in them the same defects we have within our own selves. They remind us of ourselves. Could this be true?

Golf

Hi kls. My wife and I never interfered with our children's choices. Then again, that's us. Our oldest is 41 and the youngest will be 21.

Mulan

Have you ever met someone and for some unknown reason this person just rubs you the wrong way ,i don't know if it's a vibe they give off or what but something that makes you dislike about that person. My son who is 21 started to date this girl and there is something about her i so much dislike and i can't help the way i feel.

You are living my life. Our youngest son met a young woman in college, that he fell head over heels for. No one in the family sees what he sees in her. They dated for a long time and got married!! Now it is almost 4 years later, and she is still incredibly annoying. We learned two years ago that she has Aspberger's Syndrome, a mild form of autism. Her supervisor at work, had her tested for it, to protect her present job, that she is very good at, a medical lab tech. One of the symptoms is their inability to sense that they are talking too much, talking about something NO ONE IS INTERESTED IN, and are just not sensitive to other's feelings and how to act in social situations. Knowing that has helped a lot, but our son's brothers and sister, just can't stand her, so don't socialize with her.

She is incredibly bright, with a very high IQ and has a good job, but has had problems in the past, keeping jobs because of her personality. We have decided to love her because she loves our son so much and he loves her. That does help too. Our son is very handsome, also very smart, and gets along with everyone. She is pretty unattractive, and so boring and such a know it all, that we do wonder why they love each other.

All I can suggest is to give her a chance. For some reason they are attracted to each other and she may end up in your family.

Brummie

Whatever your opinion is, you dont have to tell them. If she has the slightest hint that you dont like her, she will judge you for prejudging her, then the relationship will be ruined before you have even gotten to know her. I'm always one to go by gut instinct, and several times I have been wrong. Maybe she doesnt like you and your instinct has told you this and thats why you cant take to her...there maybe a mutual clash going on.

maybe this and maybe that, not very helpful are we!

:)

Brummie

Sunspot

I would definetly keep your feelings under your bonnet if you possibly can. This girl is your son's choice, and any negativity about her will come back to bite you. I have a DIL like that....well I know why she irritates me, but my advice is still the same.

He will be defensive and it will drive a wedge between you. If she's just "passing through", there's no harm done. If she becomes a more permanent fixture in your son's life, then you'll be happy that you kept your feelings to yourself.

I've had five kids who have had ten spouses and although you can be bleeding inside about their choices, it's best to not say anything to cause any friction.

Hope this helps,

Annie

lazyslob

Thats my feeling about most people I meet. I guess that I´m not a social guy.

I need your guys thoughts & opinions

Share this