Welcome!! You are among friends!
Your story sound so much like mine I almost fell in the floor. My witness husband also had no motivation and desire to work or provide for his family. When we divourced in 1999 he decided not to pay child support or work anywhere or go to any more meetings. He did decide to start smoking....at 37. He called me a few months later asking for a ride as his car had been re-possessed.
I re-married a couple of years later to a motivated man who knows what he wants and how to get it.