Hi, Alex,
We've chatted a few times in Q and A, so I know your story and I was wondering how long it would be before you started posting here. Welcome!
Yes, you have a hard row to hoe since you've made up your own mind about the Church, want to leave, but have all those good LDS relatives you don't want to alienate yourself from, including your wife. Tough decisions are ahead of you. While we don't shun as the JWs do, there is no doubt how hurt your family will be if you pursue your present course. They will never stop loving you, but they also will never stop trying to pursuade you to return. I wonder and have asked this before...To whom have you gone with your doubts, to hear the other side (the Church's side) explained again in ways that now might make more sense to you?
It just slays me that you put so much emphasis on the DNA evidence. Please find the National Geographic that I have seen others suggest you read...the one with the world map of DNA tracking which showed one group of American Indians to have the exact DNA the BOM would require them to have. The National Geographic itself put a tiny comment under that one group that you would find most interesting. I don't remember the exact month, but it was within the past 6 months, and I may still have that issue and can be more specific later. At any rate, to put such an emphasis on one point of doctrine has the effect of making it a "gospel hobby" which tends to distort other, equally or even more important points of doctrine. Moderation in all things, Brother.
I appreciate your simple clarification of the Temple question. Amazing how many people (outsiders) want to turn the Temple experience into something perverted and sexual -- WHICH IT IS NOT!!!! It has always amazed me how some people can take the words "sacred ordinance" and somehow make it seem like it just must secretly mean "sexual activity". I guess that shows the condition of their own minds that they insist on thinking such thoughts, because it sure isn't a part of our Temple ceremonies!
I don't appreciate, however, your instructions to destroy the faith of the young missionaries. If people don't care to join, fine. Let them say so. Let the Elders move on and find those who are truly seeking and interested. But it is wrong to intentionally set out to destroy the faith of another person, no matter what their religion is. That is wrong. If they ask about your faith, tell them. But don't tear down their religion. That is between them and God. Your experiences are your own. Let them find their own way.
You said you were called to Bishopric and now Stake Presidency? Opportunities abound for you to discuss your concerns with those who are in position to know and are spiritually in tune enough to help you find your way, whatever that may be. It sure can't be easy living a double life. Good luck to you in your journey.
Susan