Opposition to this site

by Crumpet 37 Replies latest jw friends

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  Big Tex

  He doesn't think I should be communnicating with such "sad weirdos" etc.

  I don't know about sad, but 'weirdo'? You betcha!
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  one_ugly_time

  Crumpet -
  
  When I first found this site, I was already in the midst of very unsettled times in my marriage. As such, it was looked upon as a threat if I shared my feelings elsewhere.
  
  Unfortunately, my now X was never a JW and stated the opinion that she had gone to a couple meetings so she understood. Unless you have lived it, there is no understanding it.
  
  I wanted desperately to step back and re-evaluate my relationship at the time. However, call it mid-life crisis or what have you, I was unable to pull myself away from atleast reading the many stories and feeling the shared commonality. It brought a sense of sanity and a version of reality to me that was missing for many, many years.
  
  I went so far as to seek counseling for a couple years (still going), as I dug deep into my past to understand the "betrayal" I was feeling and began to cry night after night - not knowing if the tears were because I finally realized I wasn't alone or for the mourning of "who I am" as a result of my upbringing.
  
  It has been a long, very long and difficult process. I still stop in and read all the time, but rarely post - many times due to computer problems, other times due to the inability to express myself. In any case, I can relate to your story and feel for you in your position.
  
  As I look at relationships in the future, it includes getting to know an individuals past and the pain, sorrow, grief, or other unresolved issues in life. If they are willing to talk about them and share, then there is a potential for a relationship. If they simply want to be left alone and "get on with life" and feel I need to follow in the same footsteps, then there is no relationship; only a bonding of some sort other than intimacy; ie insecurities or dependency.
  
  I wish you well with your discussions with your S/O.
  
  Ugly
• 

  BrendaCloutier

  He is probably fearful and jealous that you might find someone else. edited to add: Or at least friends that he thinks he has nothing in common with. Does he allow outside friendships that he is not involved in? I hope so, for your sake.

  To help kevan with this I let him know a little of what's going on. I have forwarded informative emails from JWD friends on subjects of interest to both of us (Like Mexican Politics), even males, so he gets a feel for what the relationships are like. He also understands my need because he understands and highly appreciates my AA past, too.

  You might find an appropriate thread and have him read it and the responses. I had Kevan read one on ... that's right .... farts. He laughed his arse off! I also told him about the NGO-WTBTS debacle in explaining why a member here put up his library card on EBay with a wonderful explanation of the scandal. He has a better idea now why I'm here.

  There are several spousal units (spouses and partners) who are here too, to try to understand what we are so ... odd ... at times, and just what the cult-recovery means to us.

  I wish you the best. Welcome. I hope you stick around.

  Love and hugs

  Brenda
• 

  Valis

  but he just got really angry and said he couldnt talk about it.

  eheheh perhaps he had his own electronic skeletons..
• 

  FreePeace

  Hi Crumpet,

  There are many red flags associated with your boyfriend's behavior. Please do not trade the controlling bOrganization for a controlling, possessive, and jealous boyfriend. This is the kind of behavior that is implied in your post.

  A healthy relationship demands that each partner respect the other's freedom and rights.

  Doug
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  jwbot

  "My husband began to feel left out, it seems, so I began to share some of the posts with him that I thought would interest him. We've had some excellent discussions that have grown out of them. So, he's gone from frequently saying something like, "Why do you waste your time on that site??" to asking how so-n-so is doing now. He's gotten quite savvy on the JW culture!"
  
  This is who Mike and I are. The think is, you need to tell your boyfriend that this site is IMPORTANT to you and the healing process. Perhaps he would have felt otherwise if you were sexually abused and frequented support sites? To me, coming out from being a JW is very life-changing and as dramatic to ones mental health. He needs to understand this. My fiance Mike knows how much being a JW has taken from me and how getting out of the religion was very difficult. He is very happy that I am able to get support from people who have been through the same time.
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  wanderlustguy

  That's no way to refer to our friend wanderlustguy.

  Ohhh I see...you wanna toss a little mud 'eh? Waitin until a brother has his back turned...not nice at all.

  Actually I am on board with this one, my ex s/o loathes this site, thinks everyone on it including me are screwed up about religion and don't understand the obvious. I could only explain it by saying, take everything you know...and make it untrue in your mind now. Who could understand you then? Only others like you, that's who.
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  Bryan

  My wife says this site and the people she has met from here, has helped her to understand me and my mental problems resulting form a 25 year brainwash.

  Bryan

  Have You Seen My Mother
• 

  pleaseer2001

  Sorry !!!! lol I posted twice!

  I understand very much what you are saying. I did trade the organization for a man that controled my life thoughts and friends. This was the breaking point in my life... I decided that people who have never been there might understand to a point but the only way is to open upto them and share. If they truely care they will be open to the feelings and needs you have at this point in your life. You need to find yourself in order to make someone else happy!
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  Evesapple

  much of it is lack of understanding on his part, perhaps he feels that you'll go back or be sucked into it all again...when I went to my first apostate fest my husband asked if everyone there was whining and dwelling on the past...I said no, your understanding of this is incorrect, if anything it helped me to re-connect with my past in order to understand a lot of feelings I've had today. I've pushed it aside long enough and put myself into denial, but the truth is, my past is still there, and I needed to face it, cry over it, laugh over it. This board has helped me to finally feel and understand what that dark shadow was hovering over me. I still don't talk about it with my spouse, I think he would rather it didn't exist as well (my past that is)...so I just don't. He's a good guy don't get me wrong, he's never been angry about my connections on this board, we just don't talk about it.