by chuckyy 30 Replies latest jw experiences
From my experience it is difficult to shun others despite the pressure placed upon you from the WTS.
Yes, I'm sure it's difficult because it goes against the grain. Shunning is not the action of a normal, well-adjusted human being. It takes a conscious effort for a normal person to be so callous, which is why, in my opinion, it's all the more reprehensible.
Walter
Shunning is a horrible thing. My mother didn't even contact some of her family when her mother died. They had left the Witnesses years ago. I ended up contacting them months later when I learned no one, I mean no one, contacted these people. My grandmother wasn't even a JW, but since her cousins were out of the borg, she felt they had no right to know.
Good for you chuckyy. Call them for what they are.
We found out that several people from Nina's mother's old congregation called up the funeral home this week in an attempt to see Katherine's body without seeing Nina. (Nina has never been df'd or da'd but still somehow she is worthy of being shunned) These were the same charming people who made a big show of walking out of her father's funeral service two years ago becuause a worldly friend of Bill's sang "Amazing Grace".
What blows me away is it never occurs to these people that they were not invited to a private service two years ago, and they're not invited now. We even went so far as to not name the funeral home in Katherine's obituary, but they were able to hunt it down.
Chuckyy, you did the right thing. I hope those two women were ashamed, and they should be.
So Big Tex, did these people attempt to crash your mom-in-law's memorial service?
I'M GOING NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!! I was so proud of him for that...................we knew in our hearts that was the Right thing to do..........................
good for you and your husband, Shania ...
it just takes one incident to plant those first seeds doubt. i mean, it should go without saying that you'd support someone at their lowest point. Your husbands statement was bombshell, considering the other elders showed up too ... with tiny questioning seeds in the minds no doubt.
'What would Jesus do?' That's a great line when it comes to shunning. No witness could answer that honestly and still continue the practice.
taylorS
Tres
No we had told the funeral home not to release the time of the service (and it was just a little family thing by the graveside; went really well). But I was braced when we went yesterday.
Back when I was still a good behaving JW, a good friend of mine who had gotten DFd lost his father. This family was very close to our family and we were as upset as if it had been our own family. The DFd son stayed away from his parents house for the most part the first couple of days knowing that many JWs would come by.
But at family night at the funeral home, he was there beside his mother at the end of the receiving line. I remember this as if it happened last night. We went through the line speaking to each of the family members and when I got to my old friend, I just looked at him for a moment and walked on by. I didn't speak, I didn't acknowledge him, I didn't do shit. At first I felt like I had done the right thing. He was a DFd person. "Not even a greeting". But by the time I got home that evening...I was disgusted with myself. I was ashamed. I knew deep down inside that no matter what the WTS rule was, that I was wrong and treated this person terribly. I swore to myself then that I would never, ever allow myself to do that to someone ever again.
I reflect on that event in my life from time to time and I think that was the very beginning of my exit from the JWs. A small chink appeared in the armor and from there it just widened and allowed more doubt in.
I'm sorry that your wife had to endure that...my condolences to her and your family.
They said nothing...looked embarrassed, and walked off as quickly as possible.
THEY may have said nothing, but you can bet the people around them talked. Who knows how many potential JW's you saved from joining up by exposing their lack of Christianity. They can walk off as quickly as they like, but there's no way they could escape the stares. How will it be when the people they've 'informally witness'd to at the school now ask, "What was all that about?" and they have to explain the loving arrangement of shunning those that no longer believe the way they do?
WELL DONE!
Dave
Well done!
Wish I could have been there to see the look on their faces!
Dragonlady76
ah, gotta love 'em. My (ex)JW friend wasn't told when two of his non-jw relatives died. One was his grandmother. I may never meet his parents but sometimes I think that's a good thing- I might not be able to hold my tongue.
