SHUNNING AT A TIME OF BEREAVEMENT..i told them what i think (page 3)

Alana

My dad was a PO and while he was really a hardline @ss about shunning DF'd people....he truly felt that doing so was showing 'love' (tough love)..... I have to admit that when it came to someone who has passed away or was seriously ill, he would throw out the shunning. That was the time, he said, that we should be loving and speak with and hug those DF'd relatives...and he wanted everyone in our congregation (small, rural) to be sure they showed their love. Everyone felt such a relief to be able to speak with or hug the DF'd one and not have to be so unnatural and rude to them. I feel fortunate that in our little area that we felt we could do this. I only wish, as I look through my rose colored glasses, that JWs could see that they could do more by being kind & loving all the time, but that will never be as long as they DF and DA.

Doubtfully Yours

I've been to funerals where there have been a few disfellowshipped people and this avoiding behavior was done by the JW extremists. Many other JWs offered their condolences even to the disfellowshipped ones, though, and this is the correct thing to do in such a time of pain.

JW extremists are such idiots, but there are fewer and fewer of them as time progresses. The new generation of JWs I'm sure will soon reform this shunning/disfellowshipping policy.

I shun nobody. It's just an awful thing to do to another human being.

DY

HadEnuf

Well I'm glad you got to say something to those self-righteous you know whats. And even though it may seem like it may not have the desired affect on them (whatever the heck that is); I'm sure on some level, if they have any type of humanity left in them, they had something to think about for the rest of the day and perhaps longer. But I'm sure it at least made an impression on those who heard you who weren't JW's. Good for you!!!

Cathy L.

jeanniebeanz

You did the right thing Chukyy. Again, my condolences.

J

Poztate

diamondblue1974...
1974 says it for you, check the August 1st wt 1974..this article says what you are saying on the treatment of DFed.

Unfortunately after the gunning down of Ray Franz, that christain way of treating the Dfed was done away with and back to the unmerciful way that has been mentioned. I think he wrote the article.

They had a very short history of trying to be human.This was probably because the well known "apostate" Ray Franz was the writer of this article and they threw him out. The hard line came back in 1882 and we have seen it ever since....I could be wrong (hard to believe ) but since 1982 have they not kept the DF'ing policies away from public knowledge by announcing them in the KM only instead of the WT??

curlygirl

Chuckky

I am so sorry for your loss.

When my mother died I had a very similiar experience. I think that the reason that they behave the way they do is that they realize that "the hope" offers little or no comfort to someone who is grieving. What is left for them as JWs to say? Instead of reaching out-----they hide. I would've killed for someone to tell me that nothing that they could say would make this less of a loss. My family was abandoned by our "family"the congregation and my unbelieving "worldly" relatives embraced us. Even after being shunned by us for not having the same beliefs. We were grateful and ashamed all at once.

I applaud you for taking a stand in you wifes behalf. I can tell you from experience, that what you've done means the world to her. Hopefully, those sisters will be forced to look at themselves and feel shame.

Bumble Bee

When my father passed away, my brother was df'd. Pretty much everyone was talking to him, the elder handling the funeral was really, really good. The only person that openly shunned him was our uncle, my fathers only sibling. He refused to even shake his hand, let alone give him a hug. All he said to him was "you know what you have to do". This really really upset my mom, she really had not much use for my uncle anyways. He never once came to visit my dad the whole time he was ill (several years! and it's only about a 45min drive).

I was not "regular" in my meeting attendance in my hall, but at the time was attending my moms hall to support her, and help with my father. Only one brother and sister came to the house. This was someone I had considered a "friend". It was about two weeks later, and they said they couldn't stay, but would come back within the week and visit with hubby and I. I'm still waiting and it's been three years!

I firmly belive you reap what you sow, what goes around comes around. It will catch up with them all one day.

I'm glad you said something chukky, maybe it will make them think about what they did, and it's great that others overheard what they did to your wife.

BB

ithinkisee

I have found that the extreme shunning at times like this are usually done by people with serious doubts and/or fears about the Society. Either this, or they are dealing themselves with some serious inner turmoil in their family with someone questioning.

It basically makes them angry that you can be free from the Society.

I'm sure it's not in all cases, but in a high number of my experience I have noticed this.

-ithinkisee

David2002

In my congregation there was a little boy that died. The mother was Witness; the father was disfellowshipped. However, many Witnesses (myself included), offered condolences to the difellowshipped individuals. Even the elders offer their condolences. Why are my experiences so different from some of the individuals here? It just does not sound like the Christian Jehovah's Witness community I am associated with.

chuckyy

DAVID 2002

If you don't mind me saying, you seem to be defending Jehovahs Witnesses in everything that you comment on.Of course, there's not a problem with that if it is your opinion. But I was curious as to WHY you were on this site. If you are an active JW, you could get disfellowshipped for this. Just wondering what your reasoning is.

Regards CHUKKY

SHUNNING AT A TIME OF BEREAVEMENT..i told them what i think

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