A side thought... Your opening dialog on the phone. Maybe he's offended that you didn't acknowledge him personally in the greeting. Simply went right to xxx's grandma without greeting him and identifying yourself. Just a thought...
You would think a normal person might have been put off by that but not him. Anytime I call he cuts me off and tries to give the phone away ASAP to grandma or dad.
He really just has issues with women and no respect for them whatsoever. He can't deal with the fact that not only am I a woman but I am unwilling to take his shit. I don't bow down to the PO god - LOL.
Anyways, I picked up my daughter last night and it turned out her dad was home earlier than expected. I did not have time to hash it out with him at the moment because I had to pick up my son but I did tell him I had a few things to discuss with him. My daughter then jumped in and said, "You and my grandfather just butt heads."
I looked at her and her dad and said I will butt heads with anyone who stands between you and your mom. Your grandfather was out of line. When he is taking care of you and he refuses to communicate with me about your care that is not OK.
Her dad said he had heard about what happened and he could see why I was so upset. He said he's not stupid; he knows what his dad can be like.
I left it at that for the time being and left to pick up my son. I did explain further to my daughter what had happened and I think she got it. She said on the way home from the airport when her aunt explained to her dad what had happened he was on my side. He said sometimes his dad thinks he doesn't need to talk to people and he could see why I would be upset.
So. I will establish with her dad the fact that I will not tolerate being put in a position where I am unable to communicate with my daughter's caregiver. I am not comfortable with our daughter being left in his grandfather's care because he has no respect for me. I expect that in the future when he is leaving town he will inform me and give me the first opportunity to have our daughter. We'll see how that goes.
Thanks for all your advice and support