My father(elder) wont let me borrow music!

Es

Hey there everyone,

Well my saga continues.... for those who don't know I am getting married this being my second time round, only difference is im marrying a non believer. I have been fading from the truth for bout 3 years now.

Anyway just a short time ago my father (elder) suggested that they look after my son so my new husband and I could have a honeymoon. About a week later he called me up and said he couldnt look after my son as it wasnt right what I was doing and he didnt want to support my decision to get married to a "wordly" person. About a week after that i sent my D/A letter off as from that point on I did no longer want to be known as a JW. The elders dismissed my letter thinking I was doing it purely to get back at my father.

I havnt spoken to my father for about a month now, but decided to pop in last week to say hi. I asked my mum if i could look at there cd's as i was looking for background music for my reception. I hear dad in the background go "No sorry" I turned to look at him and he had his arms in the air and he continues" I dont want any part of this wedding, Im not going to support it in anyway"

So I left, the next day he called me up and said I dont want to hurt you, everything will be ok if you dont mention you up and coming wedding. It was music for goodness sake all i wanted was to borrow some cd's. Then he said what Im doing is unscriptual and he wanted no part in it.

But then as soon as I get married they are willing to accept my partner. I dont understand if I am doing something unscriptual shouldnt they have nothing to do with me?????

es

lawrence

I have some great music that will make your dad wish he lent you the Best of Lawrence Welk. Matter of fact, I'd even send your dad a tape or two and he'll get the point. I wish the 2 of you happiness as you avoid a mad cult.

cindykp

Were you looking for Kindom melodies from him? Or just regular music.

New Worldly Translation

I think your father is using his objection to your marriage as a scare tactic. That if he objects vociferously enough you'll change your mind or try to convince your fiancé to become a JW or something. Him saying that he will accept your partner after you are married means he doesn't want to lose you either if the wedding goes ahead. I don't know the whole situation and I'm no expert but I would say he loves you and is trying to do the right thing in his own mind but the trouble is it's tainted with JW mentality. It sounds like a cliché but I think you need a long talk with him and set out how things are going to be from now on. Most parents just want their kids to be happy and if he sees that this is what you want with your life I would hope he would come around. It's really hard though talking with parents about stuff like this. I've done it quite recently and you feel like your letting them down or something even though your not.

I wish you all the best with your wedding and I hope your dad will be there to give you away. I hope you find some music too

Scully

Does your hubby-to-be have relatives who would be willing to let you borrow those same CDs that you wanted to borrow from your dad?

I bet if you asked your dad again, using a little reverse psychology, he'll be happy to let you borrow his CDs.

Es: Hi Dad. I know how you feel about letting Mr. Right and me use your CDs for our reception, and that's ok with me. I've talked to Mr. Right's folks and they're happy to share their music with us, so don't worry about it, ok?
Dad, thinking to himself: hmmm this isn't going exactly how I'd planned... now she's going to have *all kinds* of Worldly Music? at the reception. Es, I guess that means it's going to be a music free-for-all, then?
Es: Don't be silly, dad. You and mum raised me with impeccable taste. Besides it was a great opportunity to enlighten my future in-laws about why you're so dead set against me and Mr. Right getting married. Frankly, they thought it was bizarre - they are really nice people to be honest with you - and it didn't help their opinion of Jehovah's Witnesses at all. I think your behaviour may have Stumbled? them, actually.
Dad, thinking to himself: oh $h!t... we can't have that now! Their blood will be on *my* hands... time to go into damage control mode.... Now, Es... I think we can come to some kind of reasonable solution here...

See what fun you can have??

Dragonlady76

Try getting some music online, that way you can sample stuff and don't forget to check out the bridal magazines for advice on good reception tunes. Your dad is just being the typical dub father who's kid is getting yoked out of the so called "thruth" so he has to show that he is displeased in order to feel right with his concience. Pretty pathetic.

Dragonlady76

Dragonlady76

Oh.... and Good Luck!

Dragonlady76

beebee

the public library in many cities often have cds for free use. You won't find the latest stuff, but then I suspect that isn't what your dad has either.

jgnat

Es, your dad is trying to control your behavior or at least make you feel guilty by alternately offering and then reneging on his promises. I have seen plenty of examples on this board of how JW's do their best to ruin a beautiful day by pulling out at the last minute.

I would call his bluff and depend on others. Don't depend on anything from your mom and dad for the wedding. That way, if they do anything it will be a blessing. If they do nothing, you are not stuck. Anyways, it is a good sign that you have grown up if you no longer depend on him for these small favours.

ezekiel3

About a week after that i sent my D/A letter off as from that point on I did no longer want to be known as a JW. The elders dismissed my letter thinking I was doing it purely to get back at my father.

Wow, I never heard of this before.

My father(elder) wont let me borrow music!

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